Ana
I spend the next three days in and out of sleep, hardly ever getting out of bed. Cassio brings me food throughout the day, and checks on me periodically. At night, he holds me while I slumber, his presence keeping the nightmares at bay.
Today is the day that my streak of numbly lying in bed comes to an end—at least for now. Staring at my reflection, I wonder how I was able to black out for long enough to shower and do my hair. My slicked back high ponytail isn’t as flawless as I would typically make it, probably due to the fact that I half-arsed dried my hair, but I refuse to do it over.
As it is, I’m not putting on any makeup, opting for a blacked out pair of designer sunglasses instead. They’ll go nicely with my Dolce & Gabbana dress. The garment that has been sitting in the back of my closet unworn, has a similar fit to my wedding gown, actually. Though it fits well, and looks nice, I’d do anything to get back into my pajamas.
Alas, pajamas simply won’t do for a funeral.
Sunglasses and heels in hand, I leave my bedroom with my head down, dreading the event to come. Cassio will be with me, and he’ll keep me afloat, I think. But I don’t want to go either way. A funeral is final. It means that my mother truly isn’t coming back. She’s going in the ground.
Voices find me before I’ve even made it down the stairs.
“Straighten your tie, you neanderthal.”
A grunt followed by a muted slapping noise catches my ear.
“You need therapy, my tie is fine.”
“Show up looking like you were just caught in a tornado, then, see if I care.” The words are huffed.
“Oh, you’ll care. I won’t hear the end of it for months.”
“So fix your fucking tie then!”
“You fix it, Lord Perfectionist.”
Despite the bickering, I find the parties responsible grinning at each other. Armani’s tattooed hands are carefully straightening Colton’s black cotton tie. They’re both wearing identical suits, but Colton sports a spotless black cowboy hat on top of his head, while Armani wears a six-figure watch around his wrist.
“You guys are coming?” I ask, alerting them to my presence.
“Of course we are,” Armani answers immediately, watching softly as I approach. “You’re my sister now, Ana. We wouldn’t miss it.”
My heart squeezes at the sincerity in his tone.
Colton nods in agreement. “You haven’t been up for company yet—understandable, of course—but you’ll see soon enough. We’re going to be best friends.”
I actually have been up for company. Quiet company, I mean, but being in my room alone all day has quickly gotten lonely. I haven’t wanted to bother anyone by requesting companionship. If they genuinely want to be friends though…
“I’ve actually been thinking about joining you both in the living room sometimes,” I admit quietly. “If that would be okay—”
“Hell yeah, doll,” Colton interrupts. “Join us any time. I could use a break from this one’s pestering. He’ll be nicer to me if we have company.”
“I’m a delight,” Armani argues, smacking his friend’s chest with the back of his hand. “You’re just a slob. Leaving your socks on the floor like you were raised in a barn.”
“I was raised on a ranch, it’s practically the same thing,” Colton quips, smirking like irritating Armani is one of his greatest joys.
Their easy banter makes it hard to feel glum, admittedly. Perhaps spending more time with the two of them will be good for me.
“Are the two of you done harassing my wife?”
Cassio’s deep voice sends a shiver down my spine, and my head spins around to find him standing nearby. He’s dressed impeccably in all black, looking undeniably handsome.
“Harassing is a strong word,” Armani sasses. “We’re mingling.”
“Sure you are,” Cassio drawls. “Tell them to fuck off if they start to give you a headache, forza.”
My cheeks flame under his attention, feeling a warmth radiate in my stomach at hearing his nickname for me. I still don’t know very much about my husband, but he’s been holding me in bed every night, and I find myself already growing too attached. I crave his presence, so much so that I become agitated in the absence of it.
I know he’s working while he’s gone, taking care of Killian’s people, but I still wish he could be with me all day. I don’t feel like screaming and crying when he’s by my side, fueling me with his strength.
“Oh!” Colton suddenly exclaims. “Before we go, we have a gift for you. Let me call him.”
Call him?
I don’t have time to ask what he means before he moves.
Colton puts two fingers to his lips and blows out a sharp whistle. Following the noise like a command, a fully grown Doberman with sleek black fur and light brown markings trots up to his side.
“This is Sirius, and he’s yours now,” he tells me, a small grin playing on his lips. “He’s an expertly trained protector and I’ve picked him out just for you. He’ll suit your needs just fine, I think.”
Gaping at him in shock, I’m at a loss for words.
“What…” I look back at Cassio, receiving a clipped nod that tells me he’s in on this. Eyes back on Colton, I blink twice. “You got me a dog?”
His chuckle is warm. “Sirius isn’t just a dog, he’s a guard. He’ll attack on command, watch out for you, and keep you company. He’s a very smart boy.”
“You seem familiar with him,” I comment, still digesting the fact that I’m being gifted a living creature. I’ve never had a pet before.
“My mother trained him,” he informs me with a smile, reaching down to pet behind the dog’s ear. “She takes in abused attack dogs and trains them properly. Sirius is one of her best students and we’ve been keeping him for the right family.”
“And you think that’s me?” I bristle. “I’ve never even taken care of a goldfish. He’s a lot bigger than a fish in a little bowl. I… what do I even do with him? I’m in bed nearly all day, barely alive myself. How can I commit to taking care of him? What if he hates me? I—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Colton cuts in, hearing the beginning of panic in my tone. “Armani and I are going to help you with the transition, I promise it’s not as complicated as you’re imagining. He’s here to make your life easier, not more difficult.”
“I… are you sure?”
“Sure as sure gets, doll.” Colton nods encouragingly and extends his hand, palm up. “Here, give me your hand.”
Nervously, I step closer and put my outstretched fingers into his. Trying not to startle me, he moves slowly, guiding my hand down to Sirius. Immediately, he begins to sniff me, taking in my scent with enthusiasm. His short tail wags and he licks his lips, sniffing harder. The little huffs of warm air from his nose touch my skin and I withhold a nervous shiver.
“La jefa, Sirius,” Colton tells the dog, speaking the command in Spanish.
The dog’s ears perk up and he licks my hand before doing an excited spin around me. Once he’s circled my body, he plops down into a seated position at my side, like he was previously stationed next to Colton.
“Does he only speak Spanish?” I ask while warily petting his soft head.
“Only for permanent commands. I assigned him to you, he knows that you’re his owner now. He knows everything you’ll need in English. Sit, stay, speak, run, attack, guard, and so on.”
“Won’t he get bored with me? Sitting here all day?”
The cowboy chuckles. “He won’t mind. He’ll cuddle with you if you let him, he’s a big softy at heart. But don’t worry about him getting his energy out. Armani and I will walk and run him daily, when Cassio is here with you so that you always have someone close.”
“You’re sure?” I bite my lip in contemplation. “I don’t want to be even more of a burden.”
“Pshhh,” he makes the dismissive sound and waves me off. “You’re not a burden, Ana. We’re friends now, remember? And besides, we all love dogs. You will, too.”
“I suppose he is very cute,” I admit shyly, kneeling down to get a closer look at my new friend. “Do you want to stay here with me, hmm?”
Like he can understand the question, Sirius nudges my face with his head happily.
“I think that’s a yes,” Colton says smugly.
I nod, giving Sirius a few more pets before standing back up. “Does he have, like, food and stuff? Do we need to buy him anything?”
“Got it all covered, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.”
“He’s coming with us,” Armani adds. “He’s going to be an additional pair of eyes and ears, aren’t you boy?”
“It’s time,” Cassio cuts in, attaching himself to my unoccupied side. His arm carefully wraps around my waist, and his sweet manly cologne attacks my senses. He always smells this way, like masculine vanilla.
“Are you ready?” he asks, voice low and lips inches from my ear.
Gulping, I nod breathlessly. “I just need to put on my shoes.”
Without being asked, Cassio drops to one knee, taking my heels along with him. He lifts my right ankle first, slipping my foot into the simple black shoe. His hands are roughly calloused, but somehow soft as well. I hold my breath as he sets my leg down and meticulously takes the other. Once both shoes are in place, I release a silent sigh and try not to stare at him as he stands back to his full height.
I shouldn’t be so enraptured by him. We’re married, but only days ago we were hardly more than strangers. Only a week ago, I had Cole… but Cassio calls to me in some kind of hypnotic way that I can’t seem to resist.
“Well, you two are getting along well,” Armani muses, pulling me out of my trance. The man is smirking like the cat who got the cream, looking between Cassio and me with a mischievous glint in his eye.
My husband clears his throat and threads my arm through his. “Let’s go. They won’t start without us, but it’s bad form to be late.”
True to Colton’s word, Sirius follows beside me as soon as we begin to move. And like some kind of coordinated celebrity security effort, Cassio, Colton, and Armani lead me out of the penthouse. Gerard is waiting for us in the lobby, and he joins in the formation effortlessly. No one says a word until we’re secured in the SUV, with Armani taking the driver’s seat.
While we make our way to the church, Colton begins telling me about Sirius and what commands mean to him. By the time we arrive, I’ve got a wealth of dog knowledge spinning around in my head. Most of which flies to the back of my mind as soon as we step inside the building.
High ceilings painted with Renaissance style art, textured stone columns, and stained glass windows all draw my eye as Cassio leads me through the pews. I’ve never been inside this place before, but it’s lovely.
Flowers are spread all over the place, and are piled high atop a white, glossy casket that sits in the center of the raised stage.
Cassio watches my eyes scanning the room. “Everything all right, Ana?”
“This cathedral is beautiful,” I tell him softly.
He couldn’t have picked a more scenic location.
“Everything is perfect. My mother would have loved it all—the flowers especially.” Blue daffodils are her favorites, she’s snuck them into more than a few of her paintings. “You did so well, thank you, Cassio.”
“It was my pleasure.” He lifts our intertwined hands to kiss the tops of my knuckles. “You never need to thank me for caring for you.”
No one should be this swoony at a funeral.
We take our seat in the first pew, Colton and Armani flanking our sides while Sirius sits just in front of my feet.
“Guard,” I tell the Doberman, using the command I was taught in the car. He’ll keep his eyes open and ears on alert now but remain silent near me unless there’s trouble he needs to notify me about.
Only a few minutes pass before the service begins. I’m pleasantly surprised to see Father Charles in his robes, standing in front of the audience. He’s the Reverend of my mother’s preferred Catholic Church, and he baptized her himself about twenty years ago. She’d attended his services every time she was in New York for work, and always wished he could be in England while she was home.
Cassio truly pulled out all the stops, and it has me wondering where the bloody hell he possibly found all of this information. He must have researched endlessly to make today as meaningful as he could. Looking at his hand, I squeeze it and sit as close as I can, our shoulders rubbing together.
Cassio squeezes me in return, letting me know he’s got my back.
“We are here today to pay tribute and respects to a woman of God, our sister, Vivian Knight…” Father Charles begins.
Though I’m glad he is here, I tune out most of what the Priest says, staring longingly at my mother’s shiny white casket instead. It’s closed, just as she would have wanted. I’m not sure how Cassio knew her preference, because he didn’t ask me. In fact, he didn’t bother me with a single question about today. He handled it all on his own, and seemingly nailed every detail.
Once the reverend has delivered a homily, and a sermon, he mentions his own memories of my mother. Her art and her passion for the church. Though I have never shared her faith, I feel lightened by hearing about it. Like perhaps she truly is in a place of beauty and peace now.
“Now, I’d like to invite Cassio Moretti to say a few words.”
I barely withhold a gasp, watching in awe as my husband stands. He shares a handshake with Father Charles and doesn’t waste a moment longer before addressing the crowd.
“Vivian May Knight was a woman of many roles. An artist with a passion for philanthropy, a connoisseur of French cuisine, and most prominently, a loving mother. It is with great sadness and regret, that I admit I never had the pleasure of meeting the woman whose life we are celebrating here today. So, while I can’t attest to her character in a personal manner, I can speak about her through what I know to be her greatest pride—her daughter.”
My throat tightens up, hot tears gathering in my eyes.
“Vivian raised the strongest, kindest, and most thoughtful woman I have the pleasure of calling my wife. The qualities we instill in those closest to us, are one of the truest testaments of our integrity and honor. It is without question that Vivian carried a distinction of excellence that many of us strive for. She will be tremendously missed, and I wish her nothing but peace in her life beyond this world. Thank you.”
A round of polite applause rings out as my face becomes wet, tears falling down from behind my shaded glasses.
My husband returns to his seat next to me, immediately threading his fingers through mine.
“That was lovely, Cassio,” I whisper. Leaning closer, a drop a light kiss to his cheek and quickly retract. If I say anything else, or look at him any longer, I might just throw myself into his lap to sob.
He has made this day unequivocally exceptional. I didn’t need to lift a finger, and he somehow delivered a funeral that I know my mother would simply adore. Cassio has once again made it impossible for me not to feel captivated by him and his ability to care for me.
The proceedings end quickly after his speech, and we don’t stick around to hear any sympathies. I would not be able to handle it.
When we finally return home, I skip lunch. Being in public was exhausting and strangely anxiety-inducing. I’d never been one to feel uncomfortable around large groups of people before, but something about it set me on edge. Pulling off my dress and changing into a set of sweats, I climb into bed, determined to take a long nap.
Sirius is with me, standing at the foot of my bed. When I look down at him, he tilts his head at me waiting for instruction. Not at all sure what I should do, I look at the space next to me and shrug. “Do you want to come up?”
As soon as the question rolls off of my tongue, he springs into the bed with me, flopping his head down on my extra pillow. A laugh bubbles out of me before I can stop it.
“You really are a big softy, aren’t you?”
