CIARA
My mind is all over the place, my emotions a turbulent mess as I watch Nolan open the fridge and say, “We should be good for two weeks, so I won’t have to leave you alone anytime soon.”
What does this man want with me?
Is he going to torture and kill me?
God, I can’t process any of the shock!
He glances at me from over his shoulder. “Are you hungry?”
With jerky movements, I shake my head, my heart thundering against my ribs.
My body is wound so tight that my muscles are starting to ache. My tongue darts out to wet my lips, my voice hoarse when I ask, “Can I have water?”
A smile spreads over his face, and because he looks less threatening right now, I take a good look at my captor.
He has strawberry-blonde hair and blue eyes, and his skin is covered with hundreds of light freckles. On the taller side, Nolan is regular-looking, and when he smiles, he actually seems normal.
I watch as he pours water into a glass, and when he walks toward me, I lift my hand to take it, but he shakes his head.
When he reaches his other hand out to me, I pull away, giving him a cautious look.
“Hold still,” he murmurs, his tone actually sounding affectionate.
With every inch of me on guard, I struggle to keep from moving as he places his hand behind my head before bringing the glass to my mouth.
What the hell?
“Drink, my love.”
I begin to tremble again, and filled with a world of confusion, my lips part, and I take a few sips.
Satisfaction bleeds over Nolan’s face, his pupils dilating as he watches me drink.
Fear creeps over my body, and I fist my hands together on my lap, the tension in me building to breaking point.
After he sets the glass down, he brushes his other palm over my hair. Then he leans closer, and my eyes snap shut as he presses a kiss to my forehead.
“You’re perfect,” he whispers. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
Unable to move a muscle, I sit frozen, my breaths bursting over my lips.
I hear the other chair scraping over the floor, and opening my eyes, it’s to see Nolan taking a seat right in front of me.
For a moment, he stares at me with so much adoration it actually looks like he loves me.
I’m not sure that’s a good thing.
He raises his hand to my face, sending another wave of fear trembling through me.
God.
Resting his palm against my cheek, he continues to stare at me for torturously long minutes before he says, “You’re so perfect, Ciara.” A smile curves his mouth again. “And all mine.”
There’s a sinking feeling in my gut as I stare at him.
Because he seems calm, I take a chance to beg, “Please don’t hurt me.”
Tilting his head, he gives me a loving smile. “I won’t punish you unless you try to escape or disobey me. Just be the sweet, innocent woman I know you are, and everything will be fine.”
His words have my body tensing even more and fear pouring through my veins.
My thoughts immediately go to Grace and her marriage to Brayden. He forced himself on her, and I saw how it broke her.
Grace is so much stronger than me, though.
I’m not sure I’ll survive being raped.
My chin trembles and tears rush to my eyes.
“Hey…” he coos as he leans closer, caressing my cheek and the side of my head. “Shh…”
My voice is hoarse and thick with fear as I whimper, “Are you going to rape me?”
Nolan shakes his head, his expression filled with an emotion I can’t place. “Of course not.” I suck in a quivering breath, and it has him brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. “Your innocence is what makes you so precious. You’ll remain pure forever.”
What does that mean?
Nolan begins to climb to his feet, and taking hold of my hand, he says, “Come.”
My movements are jerky and stilted as I stand up. He squeezes my hand, and it feels like he’s trying to comfort me as we walk toward the living room.
When he begins to lead me down a short hallway toward a bedroom, I shake my head, and a sob bursts from me. “Please,” I beg as I pull back against his hold. “Don’t do this. Don’t hurt me.”
“Shh…” He drags me closer to him, and as I strain in his hold, he wraps his arm around my lower back and holds me tightly. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”
My other hand comes up, and I press hard against his chest as another sob bursts over my lips. Tears sneak from my eyes as I give him a pleading look.
My body trembles fiercely as he gives me a gentle hug. “Shh, my love. I’m just going to get you cleaned up. Okay?”
My terror-filled gaze is glued to his face, and when he continues to pull me toward the bedroom, I strain even more, trying to squirm free from his hold.
“Don’t make this difficult,” he mutters, the affection gone and replaced by a tone of warning.
I shake my head, trying to pull back while still giving him a pleading look. “Don’t do this.”
Just like earlier, when the aggression vanished and he looked at me with love, the caring expression disappears and anger tightens his features.
“You will obey me!” he barks, then I’m yanked into the bedroom and roughly shoved forward.
I fall partially over the bed and quickly turn around. Seeing Nolan come toward me with an enraged expression has me crawling backward, a desperate cry escaping me.
Nolan grabs hold of my ankle and yanks me toward him. When I see him reaching for a long chain that’s bolted to the wall across from the bed, I yank against his hold, trying desperately to free myself. It doesn’t work, and I lunge at him, slamming my fists against his back and head as he positions the chain around my ankle. Securing it with a lock, he pockets the key.
The next instant, he grabs hold of my arms and shoves me backward onto the carpet. Too easily, he restrains my arms against the floor and glares darkly at me.
“That wasn’t very nice of you, Ciara.”
Just as quickly as he grabbed me, he lets go and climbs to his feet.
I sit up, my eyes darting between the chain around my ankle and Nolan.
He begins to unfasten his belt, and it sends me into a spiral of panic as I beg, “Please don’t rape me.”
The belt wooshes through the loops, and instead of unzipping his black cargo pants, he grabs hold of my arm and yanks me up. Before I can make sense of what’s happening, he sits down on the side of the bed, forces me over his lap, and strikes my bottom with the belt.
I’m stunned out of my mind for a second, but when the second lash hits my backside, my mind instantly shuts down as I’m thrown into a catatonic state where I’m only half aware of what’s happening to me.
I can’t do a single thing as pain engulfs me. I’m not sure how long the beating lasts for, but at some point, I’m lifted off his lap and laid down on the bed.
Nolan’s hands brush my hair out of my face, and even though I’m aware he’s talking, I can’t process what he’s saying.
Imprisoned in a trance, I’m barely aware of my surroundings. I have no concept of time, and when the trance finally starts to lift and comprehension returns, I become aware of the harrowing fact that I’m naked.
No!
A warm cloth is wiped over my arm, and Nolan coos, “See, I just want to take care of you. Once you’re all cleaned up and wearing one of the dresses I got you, I’ll start with dinner.”
Air explodes from me in harsh bursts, my body trembling so severely it hurts.
The washcloth moves over my chest, Nolan’s tone filled with reverence as he murmurs, “You’re so beautiful. My perfect love.”
Something snaps deep inside me, and the next instant, I let out a scream, and darting up, I slam my fists into his chest. Nolan grabs hold of me, and because he’s so much stronger than me, there isn’t anything I can do as he throws me onto my stomach and presses me hard into the covers.
“Stop fighting!” he shouts right before his palm connects hard with my bare butt.
The sting is intense and so degrading that another harrowing cry is ripped from me.
Nolan smacks me again. “Calm down, or you’ll force me to lock you in the trunk.”
The threat stuns me into silence, and I lie gasping into the covers, my backside on fire from the spanking.
I hear water trickling somewhere in the bedroom, and when Nolan swipes a washcloth over my back and down to my bottom, I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and whimper.
“Shh, my love. Stop fighting me, and let me take care of you.”
I can’t process anything. It feels like I’ve been thrown into a nightmare where nothing makes sense.
A minute or so later, Nolan pulls me into a sitting position and tugs fabric over my head.
I quickly push my arms through the sleeves, and when a blue cotton dress covers my chest and pelvic area, I feel an intense sense of relief.
“You look so beautiful,” he says again as he pulls me off the bed and helps me to stand. “Next time, it will go better because you won’t fight me, right?”
Not thinking clearly, I nod, my movements jerky. My skin feels prickly, and my heart keeps thundering in my chest.
Nolan takes my hand and pulls me off the bed. As we walk toward the doorway, I take in the double bed and the dark wooden trunk he mentioned earlier, which is situated next to where the chain is bolted to the wall. It looks like those old ones that you can use to store clothes in. My eyes touch on the old bedside table and closet before I’m forced to walk down the hallway.
When we reach the kitchen, he pushes me down on the chair, making the burn from the beating intensify tenfold.
I lower my head and barely listen as Nolan moves around the kitchen, preparing dinner.
It takes a few minutes of breathing through the trauma before I’m able to think straight.
Panic pours like lava through my veins as I realize how much danger I’m in.
Nolan’s insane.
I have no idea what he plans to do with me, but I’m certain it won’t be good.
Slowly, I lift my head and glance at the door. I’m aware of Nolan standing with his back to me where he’s stirring something in a pot.
My vision zooms in on the door, and before fear can win, I dart up and make a run for it.
A few feet from the door, my right ankle is ripped from under me, and I slam hard into the wooden floor. The chain cuts into my skin while my chin connects with the floor. Dazed, a coppery taste fills my mouth.
I forgot about the chain.
Nolan grabs hold of my shoulders and hauls me to my feet. I’m pushed backward and shoved down into the chair.
“Now look what you’ve done!” he snaps angrily.
Shaking like a leaf in a storm, I gasp for air, my eyes locked on Nolan. He walks to a cupboard and removes a first aid kit.
I swallow the coppery taste, still reeling from the disappointment of my failed escape attempt.
Nolan takes a seat opposite me and lifts my right foot to his lap. He digs the key out of his pocket, and after removing the chain from my ankle, he leans down and secures it to my left ankle. He shoves the key back into his pocket then levels me with an angry glare.
Terrified of how he’s going to punish me for trying to escape, I sit frozen while he cleans the abrasions on my right leg.
When he carefully wraps a bandage around my ankle, he shoots me another glare.
“I’m sorry,” I whimper, hoping to calm him down.
Once he’s done, he gently moves my foot off his lap, then standing up, he towers over me. “You will not hurt your body! It belongs to me.”
I cringe, ducking my head and squeezing my eyes shut. I don’t move a muscle until I hear him set something down on the table.
“Time to eat,” he says, his tone affectionate again. Cautiously, I peek up and watch as he scoops some baked beans onto a spoon. He brings it to my mouth and says, “Open up.”
Terrified, I do as I’m told, and for the next few minutes, Nolan proceeds to feed me baked beans, sausage, and mashed potatoes.
It’s just as degrading as when he was wiping down my body, and it makes the hatred I feel toward him grow in my chest.
The food is tasteless and only makes me feel more nauseated, but I don’t dare refuse.
Once he’s done feeding me, he holds a glass of water to my lips and allows me to take a few sips.
Satisfaction tightens his features. “See, it’s not that difficult to obey me.”
With a quivering chin, all I can do is stare at him as he gets a plate of food for himself.
While Nolan eats, I try to gather myself and calm down so I can think of a way to get away from him.
The chain is the first problem I have to solve, but Nolan has the key.
Maybe if I wait for him to fall asleep, I can get it from him and escape.
Once Nolan is done with his meal, I watch as he washes the dishes. When the kitchen is clean, he comes to take my hand and tugs me to my feet.
Having him touch me fills my chest with disgust and dread.
My butt is still on fire as we take a seat on the couch, but I keep quiet so I don’t attract Nolan’s attention. He grabs the remote from the small coffee table, and switching on the TV, he watches the news. He lets go of my hand, then wraps his arm around my shoulders. Sitting so close to him makes my stomach roll with disgust.
A contented sigh drifts from him, and he seems to relax a little.
We sit for what feels like an hour before he switches off the TV. “Time for bed.”
Nolan gets up, tugging me to my feet. This time, when we walk down the short hallway, I hear the chain rattling and dragging behind me on the floor.
We come to a stop in front of the bed, and Nolan turns to face me. Lifting his hand, he takes hold of my chin and locks eyes with me.
“You understand I have to punish you for trying to run, right?”
Oh God.
Instantly, my heart pounds in my chest, and I begin to shake my head. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,” I lie.
“I don’t like doing this at all.” He moves forward, and I automatically take a step back. Suddenly, Nolan grabs hold of me, and I’m lifted off my feet. I’m only airborne for a few seconds before I’m slammed down into something that looks like a big box.
“No,” I scream, hitting and clawing at Nolan’s arms and neck. I hear the chain rattle, and the next instant, he’s pointing a gun at me, and I freeze.
“Move, and I’ll kill you,” he threatens. “Things won’t work between us if you’re going to continue to fight me, and if I can’t have you, no one will.”
Dear God.
“P-p-please,” I beg, my voice hoarse with intense terror. “I’ll listen. I promise.”
His features soften a little. “This is for the best, my love. You’ll learn not to hurt yourself and to obey me. Things will be much better between us after one night in the trunk.”
“N-no,” I sob, tears rolling over my temples, gripping the side of the trunk with all my might.
“Let go so I can close the lid,” he orders.
I shake my head, trying to pull myself up, but he shoves me down and gives me a look of warning while taking the gun’s safety off.
“Don’t do this, Ciara. Just listen and take your punishment.” He gives my hand a pointed look. “Let go.”
I’m shivering like crazy as I reluctantly pull my hand back, and when he shuts the lid, sobs burst from me.
My hands fly up, and I push against the lid, but it doesn’t budge. A suffocating panic burns hot through my body and mind. I have no idea how much time passes as I repeatedly slam my fists against the lid, crying for mercy, but at some point, a numbness settles over me.
As I pull my arms tightly to my chest for comfort, I notice light filtering through a slit in the box where the chain has been pulled through.
I stare at the beam of light, but soon after, everything goes dark, and I hear Nolan say, “If you behave, you can sleep in my arms tomorrow night.”
Right then, I realize I’m actually safe in the box. Nolan can’t spank or rape me in here.
I lie awake in the tight space, sucking in desperate breaths of air while trying to process the hell that’s been unleashed on me today.
Grace.
My eyes drift shut, and in desperate need of comfort, I turn to memories of my sister.
