When Sloane caught her breath, I eased out of her and lay with her. On my side, I stared at her profile as she lay on her back. It was calmer now that we’d spent all that angry energy on each other, and I appreciated that the storm had passed.
I was no longer gripped with that intense, deep anger at seeing her with that cook. After making her come and feeling her pussy clench around my dick so snug inside her, it was as though the world were back on axis. All was right again, with this reminder of how she belonged to me.
Her submission was an equalizer, but I hated that this could mean I was dependent on her at all. That her giving in to me was a challenge I had to overcome. The idea of her not being mine was unacceptable.
“Do you want to tell me that you’re not mine again?” I asked.
She didn’t reply for a long moment, but when she slowly rolled her head on the pillow to face me without moving her body, I saw how stubborn she still was. “Are you that desperate for flattery that you need me to tell you that you made me come?”
I narrowed my eyes.
“Yes, Maxim.” She didn’t lose that sassy attitude, almost flippant and too indifferent for me to believe she wasn’t annoyed with me. “Yes, you made me come. Yes, it felt good. You owned me like that.”
I furrowed my brow, feeling like I was wading into a dilemma I didn’t want to face.
Owned her like that?
I wasn’t ready for her to try to put me on the spot and make me admit that I wanted to possess her completely. Because if she wanted to ask me what I felt toward her…
Not fucking happening.
I was struggling with too much as it was, and I didn’t have the clarity of mind to analyze how she was coming to matter more than just as an available pussy, as a woman to breed for my heir.
“But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not a thing. I’m a person. And when I see someone hurt, I react with the hope that I can help.”
Determined not to let my anger get the better of me, I drew a deep breath and stared at her, trying to find a clue that would signal she was fucking with me. That she was trying to manipulate me and lie.
“I’m supposed to just take your word for it?” I taunted. “That you were only with him—”
“I wasn’t with him,” she snapped.
“You were only there and touching him out of the goodness of your heart.”
She hesitated to answer, seeming to weigh her words. “Yes. I don’t know how to explain it to you, but yes. I do have a good heart, and I don’t like to see others suffer.”
Interesting. “What about if they deserve it?”
She shrugged. “Fine. If someone fucked up and they deserve punishment, fine.”
“So if I were to tell you that I had all those loan sharks killed, that I tortured your landlord, and that I sent a man out to end your ex-boyfriend’s life, they deserved it?”
I hadn’t found a chance to explain to her how I’d taken care of her past issues. That in doing so, yes, I did own her now. I didn’t go around avenging just anyone.
This moment was a test I hadn’t realized she had to pass. Would she flinch and recoil in horror that I’d killed so many others for her? Or would she accept it?
A long moment of silence passed between us, and I worried when she seemed to take this much thought about what I told her. When she rolled her head and looked up at the ceiling, I chased after her, hovering over her so she’d have to look at me.
“You did that?” she asked.
I nodded.
“Just so…” She licked her lips. “Just so I would be indebted to stay here like this? Like a captive and stuck with no life?”
I scowled. “No.”
“Then why?” she asked as she shoved at me.
Instead of pushing her too far, I let her move over and get off the bed. She headed to the bathroom, and I followed her, taking my time to watch her naked body until she got into the shower. I didn’t wait for her to invite me in with her, and I didn’t give her a chance to shut me out.
“Why did I kill them?” I shrugged as the water sprayed down on me. “Because they deserved it.”
“And my happiness matters that much?”
She had me there. I stared at her, hating that she was changing the terms of what we were doing.
Surprising me, she cupped my face and stroked her thumb over my cheek. While she initiated intimacy sometimes, this felt too poignant, too different.
“Did you kill them and eliminate my debt because you want me to be happy?” she asked.
I kissed her instead of answering, keeping my touch tender and light for a change.
She kissed me back but eased away. “Answer me.”
I smiled, amused. “Since when do you think you can tell me what to do?”
After she rolled her eyes, she shook her head slightly. “Fine. Please, can you answer me?”
I hugged her loosely, drowning in the vulnerability in her eyes as steam rose and curled around us. “Why does it matter?”
“Why does it matter if you care about my happiness?” She huffed. “Because.”
“Because why? You seemed happy ten minutes ago, coming on my cock.”
“Maxim, enough. You know I can’t get enough of you like that.”
“Then what’s there to complain about?”
She gave me a wry smirk. “Because sex isn’t all there is to life. I’m not a toy. I’m not a thing.”
If she was trying to claim another title for herself, she had better watch it. I wasn’t any closer to trusting a woman in marriage. Not even her. My allergy to commitment ran too deep for her to cure.
“Did you kill them to make me happy?”
“Sure.”
She groaned. “Did you kill them to make me owe you for it and stay here?”
I laughed once. “You’re not leaving me, Sloane.”
“Say I don’t,” she challenged hotly. “Wouldn’t you want to give a shit about me more than your ability to give me orgasms?”
“I give a shit about you to the extent that you give me an heir.”
She nodded, turning to give me her back and wash herself. “Fine. You’re the one in control, after all.”
Fuck. I hated that coolness in her tone. I doubted she’d give me the silent treatment again, but I didn’t care for this distance.
“Don’t play games with me,” I warned as I turned her back to face me, taking over washing her.
“I’m not. I’m not doing anything but living here without any purpose to my life.”
“Your purpose is to give me an heir.”
She opened and closed her mouth. “And then what?” She pinned me with a harsh look. “Then what? I have this baby for you, and then what?”
This baby? She was talking like it was a sure thing. I planned to have her take a test soon, but it seemed too early yet.
“Then what, Maxim? You shove me into a room and wait until you knock me up again? Or you kick me out of this house and raise my child? What?”
“No.”
“Then what?” she demanded, cool and confident.
I raked my hand through my hair, hating that I couldn’t lie and tell her that I hadn’t thought that far ahead. As far as I was concerned, she’d always be here with me.
Treading carefully, I took her hand and twined our fingers together. “Are you trying to ask me what you are to me?”
She smirked. “You’ve made it clear. I’m here to give you a baby. Nothing more. I’m your captive.”
I cradled her head, tipping her chin up so she’d face me fully. “I’m not going to commit, Sloane. I don’t commit. I don’t do girlfriends. I don’t ever want a wife either.”
“Just a woman to give you an heir.”
I nodded, but in my mind, I resisted what she stated so deadpan like that.
No.
Not just that. Already, she was so much more than a woman to knock up, but I couldn’t let her know that.
“Just you,” I explained with a kiss to her brow.
“Fine. Then I’ll start remembering that now. I’m here to be fucked, and that’s it.”
I chuckled. “Why has it taken you so long to get it?”
“Because you duped me. I thought that I wasn’t alone in feeling something more. That when I see you smile or relax, that you enjoyed seeing me like that too. But fuck it. You’ve made it clear. You can’t commit to anything more than reproducing. Got it.”
She turned again, but I whirled her around so fast that I had to hold on to her before she’d slip and fall.
“What? Now what is it? I’ve submitted. I’m stuck here to take your dick. Got it. Is it already time for it again?” She turned and bent over. “Go on. May as well get it over with.”
I gritted my teeth, spinning her and pushing her to the wall. “Stop it.”
“What? I’m giving you exactly what you want, Maxim. You don’t want to commit. You don’t give a shit about my feelings or opinions. I said I got it. I understand. So don’t get pissed at me if you’ve reduced me to being numb and nothing but a fucking hole to fill!”
I slammed my lips against hers until she fought back. Dueling with my tongue, I made sure she wasn’t numb to me at all.
Backing up and resting my forehead against hers, I held her close and worried that I’d met my match.
“He was a cook, Maxim. An assistant cook whose name I could never remember. He wasn’t a threat to my being yours.” She stated it calmly, almost detached. “I’ve seen him checking out the tall butler, and I bet he’s gay.”
I held in a laugh because I’d noticed that as well. That was another reason he was an apprentice in the kitchen, not on the security detail. He seemed too soft to be a guard but was in the family anyway to serve in some way.
“Even if I weren’t a captive here,” she admitted slowly, carefully, “I wouldn’t be looking at any other man.”
I tipped her chin up.
“Because I’ve been with you. I’m not happy about being caged in like this, but at the same time, I am grateful that you’ve shown up like the knight in armor that I didn’t know I needed. I am thankful for your removing all the problems in my life. And I don’t need to put in words how much I enjoy your touching me the way you do.”
I kissed her, realizing this submission was altogether different from anything else she could ever give me. And I valued every second of it.
“I am aware of how much you matter to me,” she stated. “Just give me time to adjust to the fact that you don’t feel the same toward me. That no matter what, I will only be a hole to fill. Not a person to want and care about.”
“Stop.” I kissed her again, holding her close because any inch of air between us felt like too wide of a gap. Only with her flush against me, her wet skin slick against mine, did I feel calmer. “You’re not just…” I shook my head. “Don’t ever doubt how much I want you.”
She licked her lips.
“And don’t start obsessing over what you mean to me.” I brushed her hair back. “You saw how jealous I got over a fucking cook getting your attention.”
She almost smiled.
“I will lose my mind if any man tries to get to you.”
She leaned up to kiss me.
“And I’ll be damned if you think I don’t care about you.” I welcomed her arms around me. “But you will not earn my trust in any other way.”
“Who said I was trying to?” She was cocky and unafraid.
I realized she wasn’t. She wasn’t pushing me and challenging me for the hell of it. When she went to help that cook, it really was because her first instinct was to help someone in pain, not to play games with me or test my views on her.
As we stood under the water for another long moment, I gave in and sighed at the tentative bliss she gave me. I could stare at her forever and never tire of the thrill and pleasure that she was in my life.
“What’s that look for?” she asked once I shut the water off.
“Admiration.”
She laughed as I guided her out of the shower. “Admiration?”
I nodded, wrapping a towel around her before I got one for myself. “I admire you,” I admitted. Drying her off, I cherished how she cut out that threat of being numb for me.
“You stood up to me, sticking with your insistence that it wasn’t wrong of you to help my wounded staff.”
She shrugged. “That’s who I am.”
I kissed her gently. “I can see that. But I’m not used to women who don’t try to manipulate me.”
“And I can see that,” she said as we went back toward my bed. “You’re wealthy, strong, and very skilled.” She lowered her gaze to my dick as I got onto the mattress. “Women would kill to be in my position.”
“Lucky you.”
“Luck?” She snuggled against me. “I’m not sure it’s luck.”
“Then what?” I asked, holding her close and enjoying the calming effect she had on me.
“I don’t know. But please know that going forward, I only want you, Maxim. I hate to admit that since you kidnapped me, but… it’s true. And I trust you to know that you’re the one I want no matter what could lie between us.”
I fell asleep to her words, too tired to pick at them. When I woke, I lounged with her in bed and watched her rest.
Trust? That was the one thing I’d never be able to give her freely. But I could try to see how she handled more of mine. So far, she’d only met my brothers.
If I wanted to have another gauge of how I could begin to trust Sloane, I could see what my grandmother thought of her. She’d been so eager for me to marry and produce an heir that she might be in the calculating position to view Sloane in a way I might not. Grandmother could be an independent judge of what kind of a character Sloane was at heart.
Because as I cuddled in bed with her, reluctant to leave this warmth and peace, I had to consider how badly I wanted to be able to trust this woman who’d earned my admiration.
I’ll arrange for them to meet today.
