My parents are more upset by this news than I am. I try to reassure them that everything is fine and they haven’t ruined my life. I want to ask what they owe the Marino family, but it’s been so ingrained into me about not asking questions about the Marinos that I don’t.
“I’m going to check on the garden.” I tend to the main garden on the farm. There is a lot of land here, but the garden has always been mine to oversee. There is a groundsman, but at some point, the responsibility of that area was handed over to me. It is one of my favorite places here.
‘Okay.’ Mom gives me a hug so tight I can barely breathe. ‘Don’t be out too late.’ Dad tugs Mom to him, wrapping an arm around her.
He kisses the top of her head, whispering to her. Neither of us is good with her being upset. If anyone can calm her down, it’s him, but I can’t help but get a sense there is something deeper they aren’t telling me.
I walk my normal path toward the garden, knowing what my intentions really are. I cut flowers all the time and put them inside the main house in different vases. Normally, I try to get a peek of War. That was always the hope. Today I have a different plan. I want to speak to him. That isn’t out of line, is it? We’re to be married, after all.
Anticipation courses through me at the thought of executing my plan. Will I get more than a grunt or a few words from War today? Is he even on board with this whole plan? I can’t see anyone forcing him to do anything. So many thoughts run through my mind. It will be good for me to get in the garden. It always helps calm me. Even though I don’t plan on staying there long.
Today the daffodils in full bloom catch my attention. The bright yellow makes them stand out. It brings a smile to my face. I cut a handful before I head toward the main house, my mind wandering. If I am to be married to War, would I be able to put them into vases and set one in his office?
Normally I leave them in the kitchen, and people grab them and set them where they want. I wasn’t sure if it was the housekeeper who did that or if the Marinos did it themselves. The kitchen is empty when I enter from the patio door. It’s not surprising. A lot of the family has been gone lately, but I have noticed War is home more often now.
I find a more masculine white vase to put the flowers into. I can do this. I give myself a small pep talk before making my way toward War’s office. One of the double doors is partly open.
I pause right outside of the room when I hear my name said. It doesn’t take me long to figure out who is inside the office. All of the men are here and talking about me. I should turn and leave. It’s rude to linger and listen, but my feet stay firmly planted.
“Tova Sullivan? You want me to marry Tova. The flower girl,” I hear War say. I’d know his voice anywhere. My hold on the vase in my hands tightens. There is no missing that he’s not a fan of me. That’s all he sees me as? The flower girl?
Ouch.
“She’s perfect for this. Ideal, really,” War’s father, Dario, says.
“Perfect?” War’s tone suggests he begs to differ.
“Why isn’t she perfect? You can stash her off somewhere and live your life. After you put a baby inside her.” My stomach drops at the way they are speaking about me.
‘She’s cute,’ Z says. “Except for the strange clothes.” What the heck? I make a lot of my clothes or change the ones I buy.
‘Shut the fuck up,’ War barks so loudly that I take a step back. Not that anyone can see me.
‘Enough,’ Dario snaps. ‘You’ll marry the Sullivan girl. After things are more settled, you can stash her in the city permanently if you don’t want her around.’
‘Bring her out like a doll when needed?’ Ronan says. His tone is always flat and hard to interpret.
‘She’ll need cleaning up, but your mother will handle that,’ Dario adds.
‘Cleaning up?’ War says, sounding confused. What, is War suddenly a parrot? ‘Don’t ask this of me. Anything else but this.’
‘No, you’ve forced my hand. It’s time you settled down. You want to take over?’
‘You know I do.’ That’s all he cares about. Why I thought differently is my own mistake.
‘Then this is that last piece.’ I take another few steps backward before I turn and take off.
The tears burn in my eyes. I place the flowers on the kitchen island as I head back out through the patio. I can’t go home right now. My mom will see my face, and she will know I’m upset. She wasn’t a fan of this whole thing from the beginning, and seeing me this way will only make her feel worse.
I head toward the pond on the east side of the estate. It’s where I always go when I need to think. I don’t stop running until I make it to the dock. I swipe at my cheeks.
I’m such a stupid, silly girl. I shake my head at myself. How did I let myself get carried away with excitement over this marriage stuff? Now I really get how upset my mom is. She and Dad are hopelessly in love. I have always wanted a love like that. Mom knows I won’t get that with War.
I’ve let my imagination get away from me when it comes to him. The man never really talked to me, and I made up this whole story in my head that maybe he liked me the same way I did him. I drop down to sit on the dock and let myself cry.
I need to get it out. To have this moment and then harden myself for what’s to come because if I know anything, it’s that the Marino family always gets what they want. It doesn’t matter if you owe them or not. My parents never had a chance.
Neither do I.
