Does he know? I eye my father as he stands to leave. “This could have been an email,” Z mutters, annoyed he was pulled away from his own office. He lives and breathes his computer. Our father has no idea the things Z can do, but I might be wrong. He may be paying better attention to what’s going on than I thought. Even being over in Europe, he seems to still be in the know.
“It’s good for you to get out.” Father straightens his tie. “Maybe you need a wife next.”
“Fuck that.” Z stands.
“The Sullivans did try and talk me into marrying her to you instead.” I watch the blood drain from Z’s face while I fight my own reaction.
They would rather Tova marry Z than me. I can’t say I blame them, but that is never fucking happening. The thought alone has me fisting my hands at my sides. I quickly release them, remembering that my father is more perceptive than I thought.
‘I’m not War; I’ll bounce the fuck out of here,’ Z warns.
‘We’ll see,’ our father says before strolling from my office. Ronan was smart to keep his mouth firmly shut.
“He’s really doing this shit.” Z shakes his head. “I’m not getting fucking married.” Ronan grunts in agreement. None of us should be getting married. While I’m trying to clean things up, it doesn’t mean that we still don’t have enemies. History just doesn’t erase all of the ones we’ve made.
My own father knows this firsthand. He went through it years ago when our mother was taken. I was fifteen at the time, but I’ll never forget those two days. The worry and fear I felt that I would never see her again. They knew where to strike to get my father’s full attention.
It worked too. I always knew my father loved our mother, but I hadn’t understood how deeply. Gone was the greatly feared Dario once she was kidnapped. I didn’t recognize my father for those two days. It changed all of our lives.
It taught me all I needed to know about this lifestyle. Loving someone means you have a weakness. That your enemies have something to use against you. I vowed long ago that I would never be put in that position.
“You need anything?” Ronan asks. I shake my head, not sure how I’m going to handle this. Ronan nods, knocking on my desk twice before turning to leave himself.
“Is there something you need to tell me?” My attention swings to my youngest brother.
“What?” he asks, looking confused by my question. I study his expression. Why had Tova’s parents rather her marry him? Does she have a crush on him?
“Is there something going on with you and fucking Tova?” Z’s brows rise, but he doesn’t answer the damn question. I slam my hand down on my desk. “Answer the question.”
“Holy shit, man.” Z puts his hands up, stepping back. “No, I talk to the girl occasionally. She’s sweet.”
“Knock it off,” I order.
“What?” Z laughs, but it doesn’t come out when he sees how serious I am. “You know that sounds crazy, right? You don’t want me to talk to my soon-to-be sister-in-law.” It does sound crazy, or rather insane, but that is fitting. I have never been all that sane when it came to Tova Sullivan.
“I don’t give a shit how it sounds.”
Z cocks his head. “Right.” A half smirk forms.
“Z,” I warn. Little brother or not, I’ll still cold-cock his ass. In fact, that sounds really nice right now.
“I’m heading out. I know that look in your eyes.” Z pulls his keys out of his pocket. “Like I said, she’s sweet. Try not to destroy her.” Z spins on his heels, leaving.
“Fuck,” I mutter, dropping my head back and taking a deep breath. Try not to destroy her. That’s what I have been doing.
I had only seen my little mouse by chance. Tova’s father has worked for my father for years. He does an assortment of jobs. One night he was working the front door of one of our clubs. His wife happened to swing by to bring him dinner. Tova had waited in the car, but I saw her.
There was an air of innocence that surrounded her. It had wrapped around me in a way I hadn’t understood. For a week, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Then I started digging and couldn’t stop. She took up too many of my thoughts.
It pissed me off. How did a wisp of a girl dominate my life? Why was I obsessing over her? It made no sense at all. But I couldn’t spend my days and nights that way. I couldn’t keep my eyes on her. If I gave out that order, others would want to know why or find out that this small girl had me wrapped up in knots I couldn’t untangle.
That is how she ended up here at the farm. If she was here, behind the walls that gave her protection, then I could rest a little. So many strings I pulled to orchestrate it all. It had all been for nothing. I run a hand down my face.
Knowing I won’t be getting anything else done, I leave my office. As always, I head toward the kitchen. A vase of yellow flowers sits on the kitchen island. I take them before anyone else can lay claim to them. I bring them to my office before I head out to the back patio. My feet are heading in the direction of Tova.
There are two places she lingers, and she has already been in the main garden today, so I make my way toward the pond, not taking the path. There is a chance she would see me if I went that way, and I can’t have that.
I pause, about to step off to go around, but what is the point? Does it matter if she sees me now? Does she know her parents are handing her over to me on a silver platter?
Fuck. I grit my teeth; reaching down, I adjust my cock. I have no control over it. Not when it comes to any kind of thought of my little mouse. My mind goes places it has never gone with anyone else. She dominates my thoughts again in a way I don’t understand.
What I see and hear as I approach the pond stops me in my tracks. Tova is sitting on the edge of the dock. Her head is in her hands, and her body is shaking with what looks to be silent sobs. The urge to go to her is almost unbearable, but I continue to watch from a distance.
She picks her head up as though she senses someone is watching. Her beautiful dark locks fall away from her face, the sun revealing her tear-stained cheeks. Even when sad, she is stunning.
Seeing her this way guts me in so many different ways. It also answers my question about whether or not her parents have told her about our impending marriage. She obviously doesn’t want to marry me. The feeling is mutual, but our reasons differ vastly.
It takes every fiber of my being to remain where I’m standing. To not go to her, lift her in my arms, and comfort her. To not try to wipe away every single tear shed and promise her that everything will be okay. That is not the reality for her, unfortunately, and I will not lie to her.
I continue to watch her as she lifts her glasses, wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. She takes a deep breath in before blowing it out completely. I faintly hear her giving herself a pep talk. “Get it together, Tova. You’re going to make it through this. You’re resilient. Life isn’t all sunshine and roses. He doesn’t…”
“You shouldn’t be out here,” I say, cutting her off before she can say anything negative about me. She turns, immediately schooling her features.
It’s so unlike her. My little mouse always has a bright smile on her face. I often caught her observing me. I could have sworn she had a small crush on me. But what the fuck do I know? Romantic entanglements were never something I let myself have. Not that I’d wanted them.
I’m going to take over for my father. I saw how his world crashed around him when my mom was taken. I wasn’t going to have that same weakness. It hadn’t been a hard thing to come to terms with. It also hadn’t been something I thought I’d ever want. That made it easy to toss it from my life.
Until Tova.
She lifts her chin. I have the urge to go to her and grip it in my hand. Then to demand that she not cry any more. I expect her to accept the situation and become my wife.
‘And why is that?’ Tova pulls her shoulders back. Everything she is giving is pure defiance. Tova may not be as delicate as I initially believed. Two seconds in my world, and it’s already hardening her.
‘You dare question me?’
Her bottom lip puffs out with a slight tremor. I have to fight not to smile. No one but my father questions me. Tova holds my stare for a long moment, not saying a word before she shakes her head and her shoulders drop along with her head.
Without a word, she goes to walk past me. I know better but can’t stop myself. As she passes, I reach out and grab her arm. She jerks her head back toward me, making eye contact again. I enjoy those eyes on me far more than I should.
‘You will not marry one of my brothers, so get that thought out of your head.’ Her plump lips press together. One of her wild curls has fallen over her glasses. I reach up and brush it out of her face, getting a feel for how soft her hair truly is. A question I’ve long wanted to know. Everything about her is soft and sweet. ‘Do you understand?’ I push. Tova gives a curt nod. ‘Say it.’
‘Understand.’ She only gives me one word. I want to demand more, but it’s unreasonable.
‘Go.’ I release my hold on her arm. The second I do, Tova takes off, running from me.
My little mouse is lucky. I know the walls around the farm keep her locked away and within my reach. She has no idea how badly I want to chase, to hunt, to claim every inch of her.
It would serve her well not to provoke me. That won’t bode well for anyone. Especially me.
