In all my life, I have never snuck out before. I’m not really sure this would count because I’m an adult who is getting married tomorrow. It’s that I don’t want to explain anything to anyone right now. Except my best friend, but she’s coming with me. I want to be able to talk freely and not worry that my parents might overhear us.
I slide the window open before dragging my vanity chair over to it to stand on. I flip off my bedroom light and grab my headphones. I’m halfway out the window when a vibration scares me, making me tumble right out the window and onto the ground.
Thankfully, it’s not a far fall at all, and my phone lands right next to me, still vibrating with the call that had spooked me. I grab it off the ground, sitting up. Not sure how, but my glasses remained on my face.
“You scared me. And it may have made me fall out of the window.” Marks bursts into laughter. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
“Am I really your best friend if I don’t laugh?”
“Fair point.” I make myself get up, glancing around to make sure the coast is clear, but if I were busted, I’m sure it would have happened during my roll out the window. ‘This was your idea,’ I remind her.
‘You to your dock yet?’
‘No, but I’m headed there.’ I trip over a stupid rock. The glasses that have lights on them don’t sound so stupid anymore.
‘Are you okay?’ Marks lets out another laugh. ‘This might have been a bad idea.’
‘Oh, now that I’m out the window, you say that.’
‘We have to do something wild. Not as though we are having a bachelorette party.’
‘Did you want to go and see strippers?’ I tease her. She makes a gagging sound.
‘Don’t you think that’s cheating? I mean, you’re engaged, and you let a person rub all over you?’
“Right? Just because the building is named ‘strip club’ or something similar doesn’t mean you can touch others. It’s strange to me.” I admit I’m talking out of my ass. I’m in an arranged marriage.
“So it would bother you?” I stop walking. I can sense she is getting at something. I’m not sure why, because she has no clue about the Marino family. I have made sure to never say that name before.
“Are you getting at something here, Marks?” I ask her.
“It’s just—” She pauses for a long second. I keep on moving toward the dock because I would rather not have this conversation where anyone can hear. Which dawns on me that had been the plan from the start with Marks. That I should get out and we could talk. I thought maybe about sex or my soon-to-be husband and how I’m handling an arranged marriage. Or why he keeps ghosting me.
“Out with it. You’re killing me here.”
“I mean, do you really want to know? That’s another question? You have had a crush on this man forever, but this is arranged, and he’s a dick, so the rules could be different now.” My heart starts to race. Marks knows something. “It might be better to not know things.”
‘But you know something?’ It’s obvious she’s not telling me something, and now that she’s hinted at knowing, I’m not going to be able to think about anything else until she spills what it is.
‘I know lots of things.’
I walk faster until I’m at the dock, and I’m sure I’m alone. ‘Knowing lots of things can get you into trouble, Marks,’ I tell her.
‘When have I ever been shy about trouble?’ I think it might be easier to get into trouble behind a computer screen. It’s different when you’re face-to-face with it. The Marinos would track her down.
‘This is different. You can’t be poking around in my life.’
‘Because you don’t want me to get hurt or you don’t want me to know things?’
‘Of course I want you to know things!’ I wish I could tell her everything. That I could confide in her. That’s not the world I live in. Hence why my only friend is online.
‘I know I shouldn’t have poked, but you’re set to marry this man. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t do some light stalking?’
‘Light stalking.’ I snort a laugh. I didn’t know there were levels. ‘So?’ This anticipation is killing me.
‘He went to a strip club that is also a known brothel.’ I close my eyes. I shouldn’t feel the sense of betrayal that I do, but I can’t help it. The way he kissed me the other day. It actually meant nothing.
‘Bourbon Street?’ I ask. I once heard about the place and that it’s owned by the Marino family.
‘Yes, and he was in there for a while.’
‘What’s a while?’
‘Hours.’ I swipe at the tear that escapes.
‘Right.’ Why do I keep doing this to myself? My heart aches thinking about what he was doing in those hours.
This is what my life is going to be. I can’t let my head get caught up in his kisses that make me forget everything else. I need to harden myself to him. I should really get the message because the man disappears for days!
“I’m sorry, Tova.” I can hear the defeat in her tone. “I can get you out.”
“Marks.” I let out a sigh. “There is no out. I have no choice. I have to marry him.” My phone is plucked from my fingers. I let out a small scream, spinning around to see Warren standing there.
The moon casts shadows over the hard lines of his face, making him appear harsher. Even in the dim night light, I can tell he’s livid. Well, that makes two of us. What the heck does he have to be mad about?
“Give me my phone.” I hold my hand out.
“Who are you speaking to?”
“That’s none of your business.” There, I told him. Let’s see how he likes not knowing something when it comes to me.
“It is not my concern that my fiancée is secretly making midnight calls to a man who is attempting to dissuade her from our wedding.” He takes a step closer to me. I retreat backwards. His nostrils flare.
“It’s not midnight,” I say, knowing damn well that it’s going to piss him off.
“You need to be real careful right now, little mouse.”
“Why? What will you do to me?” I don’t know where the sudden bravado comes from. Actually, I do. It’s from my anger.
‘Anything I want.’ I audibly swallow. I hate that tears burn in my eyes. I fight them with everything I have.
‘Right.’ A humorless laugh leaves me. ‘Can I have my phone back?’ I keep my hand out. He must have ended the call when he took the phone from me because the screen is lighting up with a call from Marks.
‘Who is it?’
‘It’s none of your business!’ I hiss at him, trying to hold on to my anger and not let sadness bleed in. Ha! Is he really pissed because he thinks I’m talking to a man? That’s rich after where he spent his evening. The night before our wedding.
‘You’re about to make it my business.’
Oh, shit. There’s no doubt in my mind that Warren will without a doubt track Marks down if I don’t tell him what he wants to know.
‘Okay, it’s my friend. A girl.’
‘Mark?’
‘Marks,’ I correct him. ‘It’s a nickname, but it is a girl. Okay?’ I thrust my hand out again, but he doesn’t make a move to give me the phone back. Instead, I watch as he powers my phone off before slipping it into his back pocket. ‘I guess I can’t have anything.’
‘You’ll get your phone back. After I check into things.’
‘Please don’t.’ I step toward Warren. ‘Leave her out of this. She’s the only friend I have.’
‘It’s my job to protect you. You’ve never met this friend. She could be anyone.’
‘How do you know I’ve never met her?’
Warren is quiet for a long second. ‘It would have had to have been years ago.’ Still not sure how he could be so sure about that, but whatever.
‘Please don’t do this. She’s my only friend.’ I hate how pathetic I sound.
‘Whose idea was it to sneak out?’
‘I’m an adult.’
‘So it was hers.’ I clench my teeth. We stare at each other, neither of us saying a word. Warren is eerily still.
‘Where were you tonight?’ I turn the focus back on him.
“Working.”
“Really.” I snort. “Whatever. I’m going to bed. I have a shitty day in front of me tomorrow; I’ll need my rest for it.” I go to step past Warren, but he shifts, blocking my path off the dock.
“Tova.” He says my name so gently it is almost a whisper. I hate that it shakes my resolve. It’s stupid, and I know that, but I can’t stop it either. “If I were a better man, I’d let you go, but I’m not and I can’t.”
“Because of your father?” He was ordered to marry me.
“No, because of me.”
“What are you saying, Warren?”
“You’re mine, and I’m not letting you go. It won’t be good for anyone if you try to run.” I cock my head to the side, staring up at him.
“You’d chase me? Threaten my parents?”
“I’ll do whatever I have to.” He leans down closer so his eyes are level with mine. “Don’t put anything between us you care about.” My heart thumps in my chest. It’s not fear I’m feeling but something else I can’t name.
“You don’t want to marry me.”
“That’s what you think?”
“That’s what I know.”
“So naïve.” He reaches out to touch a piece of hair that escaped the messy bun I have on the top of my head. I smack his hand. His brows lift. I inhale sharply. I think I shocked us both.
“I might be naïve,” I agree. “But don’t touch me. You won’t answer my question about where you were tonight.”
“I told you I was working.”
“With whom?”
“My brothers.”
I huff a breath. “This is pointless.” I try to walk around him again, but once again, he stops me. This time he grips my shoulders. “You’re scaring me.”
“You’re lying. You’re not scared of me.”
“Everyone is scared of you,” I tell him, but he shouldn’t need that reminder. I bet even his own father has some fear of him.
“You swat at my hand and demand answers to questions. You’re not scared of me,” he repeats.
“Maybe I just know you can’t leave any marks on me. Not with our wedding tomorrow.” Warren releases his hold on me, taking a step back as though my words were a physical slap to him.
“You think I’d hit you?” His expression is one of bewilderment. Do I think that?
“I don’t know what to think of you anymore, Warren. You confuse me.” No, I find it hard to believe that a man worried about my sunburn would lay a hand on me, but it’s also hard to believe that the same man that kissed that sunburn would disappear on me for days and then go and sleep with strippers, so what do I really know?
“Know that you’re mine. That I don’t want to ever hurt you.”
“You know some hurt is beyond physical.”
“I’m aware.” He says it as though he knows this fact but doesn’t quite understand it himself.
“Are you mine, Warren?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure about that? You didn’t belong to anyone else tonight?”
His brows pull together. “I was with my brothers tonight.”
“Working.” I roll my eyes. “Let me pass.”
“Do you know where I was this evening, little mouse?” I don’t respond because I realize the pile of crap I have now stepped in. I should have no clue where he was tonight or any night, for that matter. Warren was right. I shouldn’t even ask.
“It’s the night before your wedding. I’ve heard stories about men and strip clubs or whatever.” I shrug my shoulders, trying to pretend I don’t care.
“I was at a brothel.” He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me flush against him. “Bourbon Street.”
Marks had already told me, but hearing it from him hurts so much more. I try to push on his chest, but it’s useless. “Let me finish.”
“No!” I fight harder, not only against his hold on me but also the way my body naturally is drawn to him. Although mad, I know being this close to him somehow still manages to weaken my resolve. I have to keep reminding myself that I need to keep some distance between us.
“Yeah, you’re really scared of me,” Warren mutters as my feet leave the ground. He lifts me up higher so we’re eye level, my feet dangling a good foot off the ground. “I went there to beat the shit out of someone for hurting one of the girls.”
“Okay.”
“That’s all I did.”
“Really?” I scoff.
“What is it you think I did, little mouse?” I narrow my eyes at him. Is he fighting a smirk? Does he think him betraying me is a joke? That I’m a joke?
“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Any humor he had in his expression melts away. Did I go too far? Too bad. I may have to fall in line and marry him, but I don’t have to keep my mouth shut.
“You’re jealous.” That sexy little smirk of his chooses to make an appearance, only heightening my agitation.
“Maybe I would rather not catch an STD.”
“I promise you. That will not be an issue.”
“You’re maddening, you know that?”
“I do tend to have that effect on people.”
“Can you put me down now?”
“I didn’t touch anyone.”
“Except that man you beat up?”
“I suppose you have me there, little mouse.” I should let it go at that, but I can’t help myself.
“Did they touch you?”
“Tova.” He softens to me. I can feel it throughout his body. “I have never touched any of the girls who work there. I never would, and they know better than to even try it.” I search his face, hoping he’s telling me the truth. He doesn’t have a reason to lie. No matter what, I’ll be walking down the aisle to him come tomorrow.
“Really? Never?”
“You believe I go there often?”
“I don’t know. I just thought, well, men—”
“I’m not like a lot of men, and I don’t mean because of who I am.”
“Then what do you mean?” I stop fighting him. My hands come to rest on his shoulders. He keeps me tight in his hold, my feet still dangling. ‘Tell me. I’m going to be your wife tomorrow. Give me something, Warren.’
‘I’m sure you’ve noticed. People call me cold and unfeeling.’ I have heard those things too. But there were those rare moments I could have sworn when I’d catch him, or I thought he was watching me, that there wasn’t coldness. There were small glimpses of desire and need.
‘Are you?’
‘Yes.’ He gives a small nod. ‘I don’t think I have the same emotions as others.’
‘Do you love your family?’
‘I don’t know.’
My heart sinks. ‘You’ll never love me then.’
‘That’s the thing, little mouse. You’re different.’
