“Whatever I’d like.” Tova repeats the words I just said to her with a mischievous, sexy smirk on her face. How is she both innocent and a temptress at the same time? I hadn’t meant it to be dirty, but the second I said it, I realized it was.
“Or I could do anything you like.” I let my fingers trail up her silky smooth legs. Tova’s skin is so delicate. I worry I could bruise her. I need to remember to be careful with my touch.
“Hey now!” She places her hands over mine, halting their progress. “It was I who got to do what I liked.” I swallow.
My dick has been hard for hours. It was the reason I’d made myself get out of bed. Tova was sleeping on top of me, rubbing her pussy against me. It was either fuck her or get the hell away from her.
The only time it had gone down was when I was helping her mother pack up her things, and that was because the woman hates me. She was trying to fake it, but if she could, she’d slit my throat. I don’t blame her. I’d slit someone’s throat too if they took Tova from me.
“What is it that you want to do?” My voice comes out gruffer than normal. Tova licks her bottom lip, her eyes dropping to the hard outline of my cock pressing against my slacks.
‘This is new to me. Do you care if I explore?’ Do I care? Fuck yes, I do. I have only been on the other end of torture once. I hadn’t broken, but I know my little mouse could break me easily. She wouldn’t even be trying.
I lean back in my chair, putting my hands on the armrests. Tova licks her lips again, scooting to the end of the desk. Her hand comes out to undo the buttons of my shirt. When she gets it free, her fingers trace the tattoo I’d gotten when I was a teen on my left pec. I never had a vice for women, drugs, or alcohol, but tattoos could curve an edge for me.
I reach out and pull Tova off the desk and onto my lap to straddle me. She lets out a small laugh. I want to claim her mouth and sink my fingers into her hair, but I force myself to put my hands back on the armrests so she can explore as she desires. I’m just fucking happy she wants to. That she’s choosing to do this with a clear mind. That she desires me in the way I do her.
Tova leans forward, placing a kiss on my neck. ‘I love when you kiss me here.’ She places another.
‘It feels good.’ More than good.
‘I liked it when you kissed me in other places.’
‘All you have to do is ask.’
‘Tempting.’ Another kiss. I close my eyes, wanting to soak this in. ‘But I want to explore my husband.’ A groan leaves me.
‘Maybe you shouldn’t talk.’ I grip the armrests tighter. Tova lifts her head, her brows furrowing together.
‘You’re not trying to be rude, are you?’
‘No, never to you.’
‘You know, that sounds mean. Telling me not to talk.’
‘Tova, I’m seconds away from pinning you to my desk and fucking the shit out of you.’ The brightest smile breaks out across her face. It warms a cold place deep inside of me. So deep that I know only she could ever find it. So I keep going. “You have no idea how badly I want you.” I reach up to cup her cheek, my thumb drifting across her bottom lip. Tova kisses it.
“I want you too.”
I drop my head back. “And when you say things like that, my mind tells me I can take you, then.”
“You did take me.” Tova holds up her hand to show the gold band. My permanent mark on her for everyone to know she is taken. That she is bonded to me and only me for eternity.
“I suppose I did,” I admit.
“Even if you didn’t want to.” Her smile falters.
“Do you really believe I don’t want you?” This is not the time I want to think about my mother, but her words from last night about talking to Tova thrust to the front of my mind.
“I can feel you want me.” Tova shifts in my lap. “But that’s kind of normal for men.”
“I’m not normal,” I remind her.
“And I’m different.” She pauses. “To you.”
“You are.” I can no longer deny it or attempt to hide the feelings I have for Tova. It’s a part of me now. “You’ve been different from the start. I tried to hide it, but I failed at that.” Tova watches me curiously. “I should apologize, but I’m seeing now that it doesn’t matter.”
“Why?” Tova shifts in closer.
“I was always going to have you, or at least I never would have let anyone else have you. It’s why you’re here, after all.”
Tova shakes her head adamantly. “You didn’t want to marry me.” Now she scoots back away from me. My hands move to her hips, making sure she doesn’t try to get farther away. I’m paying attention to everything right now. From the way she shifts her body to the expressions on her face, I want to understand her. To be what she needs me to be as her husband. To learn her likes and dislikes in every aspect of life.
“I didn’t want to marry you.” Marriage is a piece of paper.
I understand the legal aspects of marriage. That makes sense, but I don’t understand how people think it bonds them together. But I do understand the weight others put on it, and it’s clear as day how much my father loves my mother, and that puts a target right on her head.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Tova glances down, not wanting to meet my eyes any longer, and I know she is fighting those fucking tears.
“Little mouse,” I say softly. Her head snaps back up, and she sits up straighter. I watch as she tries to shove all those emotions she has down. I can feel her putting that wall back up to protect herself.
“Let go of me. I want to go back to my room.”
“If you want to go back to our room, I’ll take you there.”
“I want to be alone.”
“You’ll never be alone again.” I lean in. My little mouse doesn’t break eye contact; she keeps her eyes narrowed on me. I love that she doesn’t back down from me. As naïve as Tova is, I have always seen that passion in her. When she puts her mind to something, it will be a fight to get her to back down.
“Why? So you can put me away somewhere and just go about your life? That was the plan, right? That you could clean me up, put a baby in me, and then stick me away so you didn’t have to deal with me. I would be docile and easy to control.”
“Since you’ve been told you had to marry me, you have not been easy to control.” Tova purses her lips, letting me know she’s not happy with my response.
I’m not sure my wife was ever easy to control. I merely influenced her parents’ decisions to get her where I needed her. Now I’ve been ordered to be nice, and that’s what I’ve been, for now. I can’t promise that will always be the case. If they try to take my wife from me, then I’ll do what I must.
“Sorry to be such a handful.” Tova doesn’t look sorry at all.
I don’t want her to stop either. Fighting us, yes, but I have to say, as much as I get pissed when she sneaks around or gets worked up, I rather enjoy the emotions she evokes in me. Even if I hate that I can’t control them. She makes me feel alive.
I almost want to smile at her response, but I think better of it. I want to come to an understanding with her. For us to be on the same page.
“Did my little mouse overhear something?” I know where those words came from because they’d pissed me off when they were said.
My mind goes back to that day, tracing through my meeting with my father. When I’d left my office, there had been a vase of flowers in the kitchen, letting me know Tova had been in the house. She usually never ventured near my office, but I suppose that day she had. There is no other way for her to know word for word what my father had said.
“You don’t deny it.” Neither does she.
“My father can be a very clever man, and he knew what he was doing when he ordered me to marry you.” Her tiny nose scrunches, and I have the strangest urge to kiss it. “He knew I wanted you. I’m finding out that I haven’t done well in hiding my affection for you.” I lay myself bare, knowing this is the only way to put her mind at ease. To show her that I wasn’t forced to do anything. That I’ve wanted her every second of every day since the moment I saw her.
Tova’s mouth opens and then closes, a range of emotions crossing her angelic face. “I don’t get it.” She shakes her head, sending her curls flying. “If you wanted me, then why wouldn’t you act on it?”
“You’re a weak spot for me.” As I say the words aloud, I hear how wrong they are. “Or so I thought. People will use you against me, so I tried to pretend I didn’t care about you, but when you’re close and I now have the right to touch you, my control slips away.”
‘That’s why you’re so hot and cold.’ I watch as Tova settles back into me, her body relaxing.
‘Don’t think that I don’t want you, Tova. You didn’t come to live here because of your parents. I brought you here. I wanted you here, so I made it happen.’ I might as well tell her it all. ‘I was always going to have you. One way or another. My father may have ordered me to marry you, but it is all my doing. It was my action that started this all.’
‘Warren.’ She whispers my name. I can see the unshed tears in her eyes. Not ones of sadness this time. Before I can utter another word, she leans down, taking my mouth in a kiss. “I’ve wanted you for years,” Tova says between kisses. Her hands slide down between us, to my cock, feeling me through my slacks. “Fantasized about you for just as long.”
“Careful.” I groan. Tova’s words are as intoxicating as her hand that starts to stroke me.
“I don’t want to be careful. We’ve lost enough time.” I grip the armrests again, my hands having a slight shake to them.
My wife is a goddess sent from the depths of hell. She’ll destroy me, or maybe, just maybe, she’ll save me. God knows there is no saving her from me.
