The next couple of days pass by in a blur of stolen moments with Mary. We fuck in the stables, the art studio, and the games room. We fuck on every available surface in my bedroom and Mary’s guest room, and it seems that the more I have of her, the more I want.
I’ve never known anyone like Mary Chrysler. Her body responds to mine in a way that’s so natural, so passionate, so hungry and demanding, it’s like having my eyes focused with new spectacles. I can see now that everything I did before Mary came into my life was just messing around. It had no substance. No heart.
No strings attached meant that I didn’t bother holding onto the memories either.
That’s how this is different. I will never forget this Christmas with Mary.
It’s as if she has replaced everything that family meant to me until now with a memory that will make my cock twitch every time I think of it.
She hasn’t asked me what will happen when we go back to New York, but I see it in her eyes whenever we are alone together. There’s more. She has been spending a lot of time with Fianna, heads together, wide grins on their faces like they’re plotting something behind my back. But whenever I ask them what’s going on they tell me I’ll know soon enough.
Then, on New Year’s Eve, I get the call I’ve been waiting for. A plot of land in Syracuse is going on the market, and I’ve been promised first refusal. If I close the deal this year.
“Can’t it wait a couple more days?”
I wander past the cinema room, phone pressed to my ear, and spot Mary and Fianna inside watching a Hallmark movie where everything is covered in fake snow and the actors are still walking around in stilettos and lightweight coats.
“The client wants to close today. If it doesn’t happen, it’ll go on the open market and get snapped up by a developer who’ll turn it into a new Vegas.”
Shit!
“I know it’s New Year’s Eve, but hey, you can celebrate in style in Times Square with the rest of us.”
I inch back to the doorway of the cinema and peer through the crack between the door and the frame. Both women have their back to me, but Mary’s hair tumbles over the back of the seat as she tips her head back and laughs out loud at something Fianna said. There’s a huge tub of popcorn on the mini table between them, and I’m struck again by Mary’s resemblance to a colorful bird in her natural habitat.
I’m not ready to drag her away from all this. My family has spent the last few days bigging up the New Year celebrations which are always held at their friend’s property on a farm overlooking the reservoir at Roundwood. I know she’ll be disappointed to miss it.
But this deal is too good to pass up. I’ve already got the plans drawn up for developing an exclusive hotel complex.
Peering through the doorway, the couple on the screen kiss, and Fianna and Mary both cheer, toasting the movie with cans of soda. New York, the office, this deal, all feels a million miles away suddenly, something that exists in the life of someone other than Emmett O’Hara. If I’m going to do this, I need to get my head into gear.
“I’ll be there.” I turn away from the cinema and head back to my room to pack.
“What about the party?” Mom slumps back in her seat in the kitchen, and Dad stands behind her massaging her shoulders. “You said that you were staying until the New Year.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I have to close on a deal today, or it’ll be too late.”
I can hear the disappointment in my own voice and clear my throat. This deal is important. I’ve been waiting for months for it to happen.
So why do I feel like it’s the last thing I want to think about right now?
“So, that’s it?” Mom says, her eyes growing large with tears. “You’ll fly back to New York and the holidays will be over. When are we going to see you and Mary again?”
That’s what this is all about. She has loved having Mary here and was probably hoping that Mary would encourage me to visit more often.
“It isn’t over yet.” Granny Nina has been staring at the jigsaw puzzle piece in her hand since I came into the kitchen, and now she squints at me myopically over the top of the spectacles perched on the end of her nose. “There’s still the party.”
“Emmett’s flying back to New York today, Ma.” Mom instinctively raises her voice because Granny Nina refuses to wear her hearing aid. “They’ll miss the party.”
“You’re flying back to New York today?”
I didn’t hear Mary and Fianna come in and guilt floods my chest. I wanted to tell her in private, to explain why we’re traveling back early so that she would understand it has nothing to do with her. Not like this.
She watches me from the doorway, the color draining from her face, and it hits me like a blow to the gut that fucking her was a mistake. I never promised her that it would change anything. I never said that this relationship was more than either of us had bargained for, but she’d nurtured the seed of hope anyway, and here I am throwing it back in her face.
This reaction right here is the reason why I always love ’em and leave ’em.
O’Hara Developers is my life, and there isn’t a woman alive who will ever understand that. I’d hoped that Mary might be different, but she isn’t. She doesn’t want to come second to the family business, and I can’t have it any other way.
A spark of anger, disappointment, and resentment erupts inside me. I let her get under my skin, and she thinks that she can control me because she’s wearing my grandmother’s ring.
“Yes. I’m already packed.”
My voice sounds way colder than I intended. It’s self-preservation. Mary Chrysler has no say in the matter. I brought her here, and now I’m going to take her back.
“Wh-when were you going to tell me?”
Fuck! How does she always do this, turn those huge green eyes on me and make me feel bad?
“You were watching a movie. I didn’t want to interrupt you.”
“Well, it’s not like Mary has anything to pack, is it?” Fianna chimes in. The accusation in her tone is unmissable.
I keep my eyes on Mary. Has she told Fianna the truth? They’ve been so close the last couple of days, but Mary knows the score. She understands what’s at stake.
“I…” She chews her bottom lip, and I want to carry her upstairs and fuck her till she can’t walk. “I’d quite like to stay.”
“You can stay, Mary.” My mom jumps up, walks around the table, and hugs Mary close to her chest. “You know you’re always welcome here.” Mom turns to me. “Mary can come back to New York in the New Year as planned. We’ll take good care of her.”
What the fuck is she playing at? Does she believe that if she stays behind, she can make this all come true? Doesn’t she understand that fairytales and Hallmark movies are not real?
“I think Mary should come with me.”
“Let her stay, son.” Even my dad is falling for it now. “Everyone’s dying to meet her tonight.”
An image of my family and Mary seeing in the New Year, fireworks casting a golden glow across their cold faces, pops into my head, and I realize that I should never have brought Mary here. We could’ve gone anywhere in the world, and I had to bring her home because that’s what a good Irish son would do. And now they’ve fallen for her, and it’ll be hard for them to let her go.
“No, you don’t understand.” Mary’s eyes are still fixed on me like she’s trying to preempt my reaction. “I’m not coming back to New York because I’m staying here. In Ireland.”
All eyes in the room flit back and forth between me and Mary like they’re watching a tennis match.
“You’re staying?” Mom says, her face glowing. “That’s wonderful news. Isn’t it, Emmett? Maybe you’ll come back more often now.”
I feel the angry tic starting in my jaw. “When did you decide this, Mary?”
“Just this morning.” Fianna answers for her. “She’s coming to work with me.”
“With you?” I blink at my cousin, confusion stealing my thoughts and turning them upside down. “Mary works in IT.”
“Not any more she doesn’t.” They’ve been conspiring against me, and Fianna is enjoying my discomfort. “I’ve been waiting to tell you. I’ve bought a property. I’m going to open a boutique hotel, and Mary has agreed to help me.”
A boutique hotel? What the fuck?
“You don’t know anything about running a hotel.”
“Emmett.” Mom furrows her brow. “You of all people should show some support for your cousin.”
“What do you think I studied at college?” Fianna watches me coolly. “Oh, that’s right, you don’t know what I studied at college because you never bothered asking.”
It’s a low blow, but I can’t blame her for hitting me with it because it’s true. After Oisin died, I cut myself off from everyone back home and threw myself into work. It was the only thing that didn’t hurt. But I didn’t give a thought about how Fianna was feeling.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Fianna’s expression softens and she loses the hard glint in her eyes. “I asked Mary to join me. I thought you would approve. Keep it in the family.”
She knows something. I’m not sure how much she knows, but she’s trying to provoke me into a reaction.
“I do approve. I just wish Mary had spoken to me about this first.”
A flush spreads across Mary’s face. “I-I was going to speak to you today. We were not supposed to be traveling back for a couple more days.”
She’s right, but it doesn’t change the fact that she got involved with Fianna’s plans without mentioning it to me. What else has she been hiding from me?
“Well, I think it’s a great idea.” Mom is on her feet, collecting plates and mugs and ferrying them back and forth from the table to the counter. “And we’ll love having Mary here.”
“We’ll move into the hotel while it’s being renovated,” Fianna says. “We both want to be hands on with the work.”
So, they’ve already discussed living arrangements.
“You can talk to me about it now.” I address Mary, and man if I don’t sound like the biggest asshole going. I see the way my mom purses her lips like she didn’t bring me up to be this controlling.
Mary follows me to the conservatory overlooking the garden which is still patchy white with icy snow. I feel her eyes on me, but I stare out the window while I try to reassemble my thoughts.
It shouldn’t matter to me where Mary lives, we’re going our separate ways after this anyway, so why am I angry with her for withholding her plans? Is it because she didn’t discuss it with me before reaching a decision? Did I believe that bringing her here gave me full control over everything she did? Or is it because she’ll ultimately be spending more time with my family than I will?
“I’m sorry, Emmett.” Mary breaks the silence first.
It hasn’t been this uncomfortable between us since my fight with Ronan at the pub, and I don’t like it.
“I needed a few days to think about it. That’s why I didn’t tell you sooner. I…” I hear the emotion in her voice, and I still don’t look at her. “I can’t come back to New York with you. I can’t see you in the office and … and think about our time together here.”
“You won’t see me in the office.” Because I never noticed Mary until the Christmas party.
She takes her time responding. “There’s nothing else for me to go back to if I don’t have my job. This is an amazing opportunity, and I really want to make it work.”
“You could find a job like this in New York. I’ll connect you with some of my contacts. They’ll find you work if I put in a good word for you.”
I choose this moment to make eye contact, and the hurt in her eyes tears my heart open. Who do I think I am, persuading her to change her mind so that I can palm her off onto a client and forget about her?
“Mary, I didn’t mean—”
“Yes, you did, Emmett. It’s fine, really it is. I’ve realized how much I’ve missed this country. I belong here. My roots have been tugging at me ever since we arrived.” She smiles. “Here, take your granny’s ring.”
She slides the engagement ring off her finger, but I stop her. If she takes it off now, my family will never believe that I’m not angry with her for staying in Ireland, and there’s no way I can tell them the truth now that they’ve all fallen in love with her. My parents will never forgive me.
“Tell them tomorrow. At least let them see in the New Year with their excitement intact.”
“Tomorrow? After you’ve gone?”
Fuck, that came out all wrong.
“I know you think that I’m swerving all the responsibility onto your shoulders, Mary.”
“Aren’t you?”
There’s a hard edge to her voice that I haven’t heard since she ran away. Was that when everything changed, when I went looking for her and brought her back?
“I’ll call them myself. Tomorrow. I’ll tell them that we’ve decided to take a break while you get settled here, and I have so much going on in New York.” She isn’t saying anything. “Then you can give Granny Mary her ring back.”
She stares at me for what feels like hours, her eyes searching mine, looking for something that she isn’t going to find. “Fine.”
“Fine.”
“Good luck, Emmett.” She stands on tiptoes and kisses my cheek. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
Then she walks away, and I’m left staring at the door as it closes behind her.
I don’t see Mary again before I leave. She stays in her room when I say goodbye to my family, and even though I stare inside the house while I hug everyone and wish them Happy New Year on the doorsteps, it’s obvious that she isn’t coming to wave me off.
“I wish you would stay.” Mom hugs me tightly. She holds on to my arms when she pulls away and glances over her shoulder. “Don’t worry about Mary. We’ll take good care of her.”
Jesus, if she only fucking knew. “I know you will, Mom.”
She dabs her wet eyes with a tissue. “When will you be back?”
“I don’t know.” Deep breath. I should make more of an effort to see them. “I won’t wait so long this time.”
I get in the car before she starts crying. As Dave drives slowly along the driveway, I glance back at the guest room window, hoping for a glimpse of Mary, but she isn’t there.
It feels like she’s punishing me for not giving her more. For not allowing what we have to become something real. But I never gave her false hope; I told her from the start that it would end after the holidays.
So, why does it feel so wrong to be traveling back without her?
