I should hate him.
He stole everything from me: my life, my happiness, my family, my studies, and even my future. He did that, Nikita Tarasov. What other reason did I need to loathe his guts? What more must he do to me before all I felt was complete hate for him?
But despite all he’d done, all he’d put me through, a part of me couldn’t bring myself to hate him—at least not in the way that I knew I should. He’d crawled his way under my skin, and now, I couldn’t seem to get him out. Nik was an unpredictable soul. One minute, he was harsh and cold toward me, and the next, he was all nice and kind.
The way he pulled me against him in the garden the other day left a lasting impression on me. At first, when he caught me standing all by myself at that ungodly hour, I thought he was pissed and that I was so much trouble. I didn’t lose my will to fight back when confronted. But with time, I’d groomed myself to be conscious enough to avoid whatever might lead to a conflict between us.
It was useless to go against his will in his own house, especially after I’d promised to do anything he wanted. My unborn child was my primary concern, and I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize my chances of being a part of his life. This was the reason I was more than ready to be Nik’s zombie, doing only whatever he said.
However, his arms around my waist and the manner in which he stared into my eyes awakened something in me. I’d melted like ice cream at his touch, my racing heart steadying with each passing second. It was ironic how I felt safe in his arms that night; I felt protected and maybe even…adored. He had pulled me into his arms, and I found myself resting my head on his chest.
His hold was as possessive as it was protective. I didn’t mind; in fact, I loved it. I shouldn’t have felt the way I did, but unfortunately, I couldn’t help it. It was peaceful in his arms—so peaceful that when I shut my eyes to sleep that night, I didn’t wake up until the next morning. It’s interesting how a brief moment of an intimate hug could tamper with my feelings and serve as therapy for my insomnia.
This ruthless mafia boss was slowly slithering through my system like poison. He was breaking all of my defenses, bringing down the high walls I’d built to protect myself from him. Nik was infiltrating my heart like a trained assassin on a mission to end my fucking life.
Like a moth to a flame, I found myself being drawn to him. Ever since that night, each time I sensed his presence or found myself around him, my heart would skip a beat. My pulse would spike—not from fear or hate, but from something I was too scared to name. Whenever we were both in the same room, I’d steal hidden glances at him, and on more than a few occasions, I’d catch his eyes. It was almost like he, too, was stealing glances at me when I wasn’t looking.
Could this mean that the maid, Olga, was right when she assumed that Nik had feelings for me? Was it really an assumption? It didn’t sound like it when she made the declaration. Olga spoke with so much conviction in her tone, like she was certain. But was she?
Damn it, Alessia! You shouldn’t even be considering this as a possibility, a voice said to me. We’re talking about a man who kidnapped you, ruined your family name, and sent your father and brothers running like fugitives. Not to mention, he’s turned you into his own personal zombie—his fuckin’ 4 p.m. booty call. There’s no way you’re seriously developing feelings for him.
The voice was harsh, my own words piercing my heart like arrows. Maybe this was the reminder that I needed, the perfect wake-up call that would set me back on track.
Besides, he was only using me to pass the time until he married his precious fiancée. Then what? What would happen to me once he married her? Would I have to live in the house with them while raising my son? Would I live like a maid in his house—a maid he’d fuck at will and discard once he’d cum?
My heart shattered again just by imagining how terrible my life was about to become. Fear and hatred came creeping back inside, leaving me vulnerable and confused. How long would he keep me prisoner after our baby was born? For how long would I continue to do as he wanted? What exactly was the conclusion of our arrangement?
Shit. I just realized that I was still very much in the dark, unsure of anything. And the moment he married his fiancée would be the moment the real torment would begin. As his prisoner and the mother of his son, I’d be the concubine, the invisible mistress whom he’d come to whenever he grew bored of his wife.
This was the life I was subjected to—a life of pain and humiliation. Was it a crime to be born into the Romano family? Did I ask to be brought to this world? Why was my life ruined when it hadn’t even started yet?
All my goals and dreams, all my aspirations, gone in a flash. Now, I was carrying the child of my father’s worst enemy.
Shoot, my father!
I’d thought about all the possible ways this would pan out in the end, but I didn’t even consider my father’s comeback. Dante Romano was not dead; neither were his two sons. His brother, Roberto, was also still alive. Nik didn’t kill any family member of mine; he only destroyed the structures my father had built.
The fact that the Romanos still had air in their lungs meant that they’d never abandon me. They might be hiding at the moment, but one thing was certain: They’d assembled and were already cooking up plans to attack the Tarasov empire. Dad wouldn’t hide forever from a fellow man. He’d never do that. Another thing that was impossible for my father to do was abandon me, his precious jewel.
He’d burn the world to free me from this prison, and Uncle Roberto would be solidly behind him. My brothers, too. The Romanos were coming to get their own; it was only a matter of time.
But the million-dollar question remained: What would happen when they found out that I was carrying the enemy’s child? If their plan lingered until I gave birth to the boy, how would they react to the situation? The truth would reveal itself then that I had slept with Nik the first time he kidnapped me, and that that was the reason I fled to Montana.
Dad would be furious, shocked, and disappointed, as would the whole family. What would be my fate, then? Would the Romanos accept the child, or would the Tarasovs let go of the child?
Fuck! It would be an all-out war between two powerful families, and I’d be caught in the middle of it.
***
That night, I lay in my bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. It was loud in my head, and my mind wouldn’t quiet because I was thinking about a million and one things all at once. The more I stayed in bed, the closer I came to fucking losing my sanity.
So, I decided to leave, to step outside and at least wander the halls like a pregnant ghost. The mansion was vast, empty, and eerily quiet tonight, but it was also peaceful. I liked the peace and quiet, the serenity and calm that came with it.
Parched, I headed to the kitchen to grab a glass of water to help cool my throat and my body at large. However, what I didn’t anticipate was who I’d run into at this ungodly hour. Honestly, nothing could have prepared me for this encounter—this unplanned confrontation.
It was dark in the kitchen, with the moon’s ethereal glow streaming in through the windows. I walked inside, unaware of the presence in the room with me. My fingers rubbed my tired eyes as I reached for the wall switch with my free hand. The moment I turned it on, and the lights illuminated the space, I yelped in shock, my body stiffening at the sight of the man sitting on the stool at the kitchen island.
He’d been here before me, sitting comfortably in the dark like the devil that he was.
“You scared me,” I confessed, a hand on my chest, my heart pounding like a drum.
“Fear is optional, little Romano,” he said, his cold blue eyes staring at me. “You chose to be afraid, and so your fear has nothing to do with me.”
I paused, watching him closely, attempting to study the blank expression on his face. “Do you do this often? Sit alone in the dark?” I dared ask, dared to indulge him to fill the awkward silence.
“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing,” he replied, elbows on the countertop, his voice soft and smooth.
“Is it not?” I enquired, trying to hold this conversation, however unexpected it was.
He looked at me for a little while, his cold blue eyes narrowing by a fraction. “To people like you, maybe. But not to us…. Not to those who live in the dark and have become one with it.”
I swallowed hard, my dry throat wobbling as I stepped closer, standing on the other side of the counter between us.
“What’re you doing up so late anyway?” he asked, expression still almost unreadable.
“I couldn’t sleep,” I replied, “So, I, uh…I decided to come get a glass of water.” My eyes darted toward the fridge.
He hesitated for a second before rising to his feet, and with a fluid motion, he glided over to the refrigerator. Nik grabbed the door handle, opened it, and withdrew a bottle of water. He reached for the cabinet and picked out a glass, then walked over to the countertop. I watched him screw open the bottle of water and pour a reasonable amount into the glass.
“Here. Drink.” Nik handed me the glass.
Shocked by this unusual act of kindness, I paused for a while before accepting it. “Thank you,” I muttered under my breath.
He watched me gulp the water down, and I didn’t lower the glass until I’d swallowed every single drop.
For a few long minutes, it was awkwardly silent between us—the same silence I’d been dreading this whole time. At this point, I was left with two choices: to leave now or stay back and start another conversation with him. Even if I did leave, I’d only return to the boredom that awaited me in my room, my cell. It wasn’t like I had anything better to do, anyway. Plus, his energy was receptive tonight. And although his expression was still blank, I could see a slight crack in the high walls he’d built around himself.
This was my chance to speak—my opportunity to ask the question that had lingered on the fringes of my mind since the last time we were intimate.
“Are you just gonna keep standing there, or are you going to spill what’s on your mind?” he asked, looking right at me.
His question—his confrontation—caught me entirely off guard, and for a moment there, my brain went blank. “Huh?” was the only thing that came out of my mouth.
A glimpse of amusement flashed across his face as he turned to face me. “There’s something you wanna ask me…. You’re just not sure how to do so yet,” he said softly, his voice dripping with conviction.
What are you, a psychic? I thought to myself, raising my chin to hold his gaze.
“I’m not a psychic. Your anxiety is just all over the place,” he said, as though he’d read my mind.
My breath hitched, my eyes widening ever so slightly.
Did he just hear my thoughts? Oh, my God!
Nik chuckled, picking up an apple from the fruit basket on the countertop. I blinked a few times, watching him chew, his jaw moving gracefully. There was no point holding back; he already knew that I had something to say, so why not spill the beans?
I heaved a sigh, my heart starting to race in my chest as I looked at him, preparing myself to speak. His expression had softened a bit, a hint of curiosity dancing in his eyes. He wanted to hear what I had to say, and his interest was an invitation to speak.
“How long are we going to keep ignoring the elephant in the room?” I asked, meeting his gaze.
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to be a bit more specific than that,” he said, munching quietly on his apple.
“I’m talking about you sleeping with me when you have a fiancée.” The words tumbled out of my mouth before my brain could analyze them.
The apple stopped halfway to his mouth, and slowly, he drew closer, eyes never leaving mine. “Last I checked, you were the one who said you’d do anything to raise our son.”
I didn’t know why, but somehow, hearing him say “our son” stirred up a funny feeling inside me, a feeling that I didn’t want to name.
I pulled backward, away from the man approaching me with a familiar look in his eyes.
Desire.
My throat wobbled as I swallowed hard, struggling to suppress the emotions brewing within me. The lust in his gaze awakened my passion, and now the same flame from the last time we’d had sex had ignited inside me.
No, no, no, no. Not tonight. I couldn’t fall for him again. I should fight this feeling. But the more I tried to do so, the more I lost to my own lust. He was getting close, too close, and his cologne had filled the air around me, invading my nostrils. I felt my willpower dwindling by the second, my heart racing like a galloping horse.
“Why, though?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Why what?” he growled, his tone deep and husky.
I felt a cold shiver run down my spine, and the next second, my back met the wall behind me. “Why not go to your fiancée? Why not take her instead of me?” My lips trembled.
He halted in front of me, a hand resting on the wall behind me, his eyes never leaving mine. “What do you wanna hear?”
“The truth,” I said. “I wanna hear the truth.”
Not that it would change anything, but I was curious to know his reason. Was it because I promised to do whatever he wanted? Because I was readily available and without the ability to turn him down? I needed to know.
Nik’s lips curled into a faint smile, and he leaned in, whispering in my ear. “The truth is, Alessia, Helen is not half the woman that you are.”
My heart sank into my belly, and my breath ceased at the answer he gave. I wasn’t expecting such words from his lips, nor did I expect to hear the sincerity in his tone. Did I hear him correctly, or was my mind playing tricks on me? Nik just implied that I was better than his fiancée, and now that statement had stirred up a lot of questions in my head.
If he thought so, if he genuinely thought so, then that would mean that I wasn’t the only one struggling with my feelings here. He might just as well be going through the same thing as me.
I stared deeply into his eyes, my pulse quickening and my heart beating rapidly. Wait a minute. What if he was only saying this because he wanted to get between my legs again? What if he didn’t mean the words he said?
Yes. There was that.
But there was also sincerity in his tone and a glint of affection in his eyes. He could be telling the truth; he could mean every word he said.
Again, I swallowed against the sudden dryness in my throat. “I…I don’t believe you,” I said, too afraid to trust at this moment. My gaze wouldn’t leave his face as I searched his eyes and expression for the slightest hint of dishonesty and insincerity.
However, I found none.
“That’s not my problem,” he replied to my previous statement, his hand caressing the strands that framed my face. “But the truth, Alessia…will always be visible. You just have to see it.”
He wasn’t wrong because all I saw when I looked at him was a man true to the words he’d spoken. No lies. No deceit. Only sincerity and honesty.
He touched my cheek with the back of his hand, fingers brushing against my skin. My body trembled, a wave of ecstasy spreading through my veins. The air was charged with tension, his gaze, light and sexy, sending tremors down my core.
“I don’t know how you did it,” he continued, his breath warm against my face. “But you have slithered your way into my head, Alessia.”
His confession and the husky tone with which he spoke made me feel wet between my legs. I brushed my thighs against each other in an attempt to hide the desire, the longing his touch had sparked within me.
He went ahead to say, “There’s a fire in your eyes that draws me in. And there’s something about you that I find irresistible.” His hand dropped to my heaving chest, fingers grazing my bare skin. “You feel it, too, don’t you…? The pull?” he whispered, his eyes locked on mine.
At this point, my heart threatened to explode from my chest. He was right. I could feel the pull, the magnetic field drawing us closer until our lips were merely inches apart.
It was no secret that I wanted him, that every fiber of my being craved him. The last time we made out, his touch lingered on my mind for days—in fact, even until now, I couldn’t stop thinking about that night. This was an opportunity to have him all to myself again, to feel his warmth and his hands on me.
It was clear now that he was just as attracted to me as I was to him. At least it wasn’t one-sided. That realization alone made it easier to give in to this temptation. Why starve myself when I knew this was exactly what I wanted, what my body needed to relax and release all that tension?
I found it rather interesting how the atmosphere moved from something ordinary to something very sensual in a matter of minutes. My body was subtly shaking, a sudden cold seeping into my bones as my lips quivered with need. His thumb slowly traced the gentle curve of my mouth, his eyes boring into mine with the kind of intensity that made my pussy tingle.
I stood there, helpless, with my back against the wall, my chest heaving with anticipation. He was taking his time to tease me, to make me want him more than I already did. My legs parted slightly when his other hand dared to travel up the hem of my dress. I steeled myself, my body stiffening as his fingers slid up my thigh.
My lips parted by a fraction, taking his thumb in my mouth. A slight moan left me when his hand finally settled on my underpants.
“You naughty little devil,” he whispered, gliding his middle finger up and down the fabric of my panties. “You’re already wet for me,” he added, a twisted smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
I felt a bit embarrassed, but that fleeting embarrassment could not be compared to the hunger I felt. “Oh, yes!” The soft exclamation fell from my lips without my consent as he dipped his finger inside me.
My legs parted, my body subtly shuddering at the sensation coursing through my blood. A mix of cold and heat spread across my body, leaving me hornier than before. He pushed his thumb into my mouth, and I sucked on it, licking that finger with a face contorted in pleasure. He glued his eyes to mine, his small grin proof that he was enjoying the look on my face.
Nik’s finger traveled deeper into my pussy, and as my moans grew louder, he withdrew his thumb and planted a fervent kiss on my lips. I slid my tongue into his mouth, drawing a deep, long breath like it was my last. His kiss was hot, passionate, and quite intense. Just the way I wanted it.
While simultaneously fingering my cunt, he fondled my breasts over the fabric of my dress before sliding his hand in beneath the neckline. My gentle swells felt soft beneath his delicate squeezes as he caressed my chest region. Lost in a sea of ecstasy, our heads danced to the beat of our passion, tongues twirling in our mouths.
Nik’s squeezes on my breasts helped with the aches that came with my pregnancy. He took his time to massage those voluptuous curves while still finger-fucking me. Neither of us broke the kiss; it was just too good to break. The more fervently we kissed, the more difficult it was to catch our breath.
The way he touched me, the way he kissed and caressed me, was a clear indication of how he couldn’t get enough of me. I couldn’t get enough of him, either; it was a mutual feeling. As horny as he was, Nik was still careful enough to remember I was heavily pregnant. Every now and then, his hand would leave my breasts and settle on my belly. He’d rub my stomach with a touch so tender it would send jolts of electricity surging through my veins.
My hands grasped the hem of his white V-neck shirt, and I struggled with it for a moment before he helped pull it off his body with a single drag. His rigid frame came into view, his broad torso sticking out in front of me. I rubbed my palms over the scars that mapped his body while responding to his finger between my legs with a series of soft purrs.
At last, I broke the kiss, my hands dropping to his lower abdomen, where my fingers clutched the waistband of his pants. With a single tug, his shaft revealed itself, and I glanced down for just a glimpse of it. The organ, hard and veiny, was heavy in my hand, and when I stroked it as smoothly as I could, Nik groaned, his finger still relentless between my legs.
Driven by passion and a strong wave of lust, I pushed against his chest, the impact forcing him a step backward. His eyes narrowed in shock, and before he could say a word, I dropped to my knees, slow and careful. His cock hung loosely from his groin, waiting to be toiled with. The last time we were together, he went down on me and ate my pussy until I came. Right now, I felt the need to return the favor, not out of necessity or guilt. No. It was what I craved for at the moment—his organ in my throat.
I looked up at him with a faint grin, my manicured hands gliding back and forth over his shaft. He groaned, reaching down to run his fingers through my hair, a silent gesture that motivated me to do more. I yanked up his cock, stroking his length while lowering my head below his sac. My mouth swallowed his delicate balls, my tongue sucking his shaved skin. His cap was the main focus of my gentle strokes, his pre-cum aiding the movement of my hand, my grip.
Sticking my tongue out, I licked his sac all the way up to his cap, and with a sensual motion, I lowered his organ, sliding it into my mouth. His deep growls sent shivers down my spine as I pushed my head in and out of his groin. He threw his head back, reveling in the satisfaction and the warmth of my mouth. His hands pulled my head closer, as if seeking deeper contact.
On his cock, I choked, gagging until my eyes were all teary. His organ was deep in my throat for some time, and the second he pulled out, a thick thread of drool dripped off his shaft. I gasped, swallowing hard as I raised my chin to meet his gaze. A soft and abrupt chuckle left my lips while I played with his hard and slippery member.
My teeth grazed his cap, one hand toying with his balls while the other stroked his length. I took him in my mouth again, showcasing my blowjob skills as though the plan was to impress him enough so he wouldn’t look elsewhere. The sound of his groans was the motivation that I needed to keep going; it was the clearest proof that he was truly enjoying me.
I didn’t stop.
Didn’t want to.
Couldn’t even if I did
For some reason, I was super excited, and my hormones were all over the place. In my mind, I could suck that stick all night and bask in the guttural cry that escaped his lips. He’d turned me on, but it wasn’t about me tonight—it was about him. I wanted to pleasure him in ways that would blow his mind and make him spend the next few weeks thinking about me and only me.
The last time we had sex, he ate me up and left a lasting impression that had lingered long after the sex was over. I was merely trying to return the favor, making sure he knew what it was like to have one person and one person alone in his mind.
My moment was slow, sensual, and sloppy as I pleased him with my mouth, my hands, and my tongue. His legs trembled, his groans growing deeper and deeper by the minute until he snapped, and I heard my name on his lips.
“Fuck, yes, Alessia!”
That single expression raised a flutter in my chest, and my lips curled into a self-satisfied grin. Saying my name was step one; making him cum was the next step.
“Oh, fuck, yes!” he groaned, his body stiffening, legs trembling in pleasure. “Yeah, like that…just like that.” He reached down and guided my head, his hand controlling the pace of my movement.
While sucking on his shaft, I slid my grip along his length. My chin jerked upward to catch every expression on his face. He wore a mask of sheer pleasure, my name steadily repeated on his lips.
He had made me lose control and call out his name the last time we had sex. It was only fair that I returned the favor so he’d have a taste of his own medicine. Nik was taking longer to cum, a little bit longer than I had expected, but that was a minor challenge. I wasn’t going to give up; I wasn’t going to stop until I watched him shoot his load all over my chest region.
I wanted that—I wanted it so badly that everything in me anticipated his release.
His growl deepened, and his legs shook more intensely than before, a gesture that signaled his arrival. He was climaxing, at last. Nik withdrew his shaft from his mouth, his head snapping backward as my grip tightened.
“Oh, Goddamn…” he exclaimed quietly, his voice thick and husky.
I quickened my strokes, channeling my focus on his cap, soft and red.
He cried out with a groan so deep, it shattered my nervous system.
“Yes, yes, yes!” I urged, finding comfort in the expression etched on his face. “Give it to me. Give it to me, Daddy—I want it.” The words tumbled out of my mouth in a rush, my tone dripping with desperation.
“Shit, I’m cumming!” he announced, knees quaking as I stroked his cock relentlessly. “Here it comes.” He threw his head back, muscles contrasting, his cock positioned in front of me. “Tell me where you want it,” he strained, face turning red with a lone vein lining his forehead.
Feeling nasty as fuck, I replied, “In my mouth.”
I angled my head backward, mouth open with my tongue stuck out, waiting, anticipating the full dose of his load.
With a primal growl and a hand supporting my head from behind, he positioned his member over my tongue. Seconds later, my waiting was over as he exploded in my mouth, stroking his cock himself. He groaned, releasing his essence—all of him—right where I wanted it.
As the last drop landed on my tongue, I locked my lips around his cap, sucking the remnants lingering on his tiny opening. I felt so alive, fulfilled, and fucking satisfied. He may not have penetrated me tonight, but the fact that I was able to suck him to climax was more than enough for me.
This should keep him occupied until the next time. My mission was accomplished. I’d left him with something to think about, something to fall back on each time he was alone. There was no way he was going to forget tonight in a hurry—not even by a long shot. It was his turn to have me living rent-free in his head, occupying his thoughts every second of the day. He may not have known what that was like, but now, he would.
He looked down at me, shock and surprise flickering in his gaze as I swallowed his cum and wiped the remnants off my lips. His body and neck region were dampened with sweat, and his breath was clearly hard to catch as he stared at me, amused and confused at the same time. He must be wondering what the hell had just happened, whether he’d been to heaven and back.
The way he looked at me, it was almost like he had no idea whom he was staring at—like he couldn’t recognize me.
Nik helped me back to my feet, slow and gentle, his chest heaving with exhaustion. All he could do was watch me in amazement, his eyes wide and brows raised. His shock was evident—so palpable, in fact, that it left him numb.
Good. Very good.
My lips curved into a faint grin as I tugged down the hem of my dress. I adjusted my loose straps and beamed at him before stepping out of the kitchen without a word.
While leaving, I felt his gaze lingering, the quiet hum of his labored breaths filling the air. Tonight, I successfully blew his mind and left him in awe of me. My heart was filled with joy and satisfaction, a kind that I hadn’t felt in a while.
Pride swelled within me, and my lips curled into a self-satisfied grin.
At least now I could sleep fine, knowing that I’d given Nik something to think about.
