“Oh my gosh! What happened to your eye?” Kelly took one look at me that night and screeched. She dragged me under our brightest light and tipped my head back, her hands not so gentle, and she started touching around the bruise just under my eye.
“Ouch.” I moved back, already having had a first responder check me out. It was all protocol, along with the amount of paperwork I had to file when my parolee’s sister wasn’t feeling me after I gave a lengthy discussion that surprise home visits were a real thing between a parole officer and a parolee, especially one that had missed two office check-ins and two UAs, and that was after a positive UA. Urine analysis. This parolee was beyond due for a visit by me, and in my books, he should’ve been prepared for it. Her place of residence was the one he’d put on file, and since he was there, I needed to come and check the place out.
She took offense, and when two loud neighbors distracted me for a moment, she decided it was a good idea to punch me when I couldn’t hit her back.
She was now in jail.
I held up a hand, putting my frozen bag of peas over my eye once more. “I’m good. Just, a stupid thing at work.”
“Are you still going to your shift tonight?”
I would’ve shot her a look, but it would’ve been painful, so I tossed the bag of peas instead.
She caught it, her hand jerking up. She looked at it as if she didn’t recognize what it was.
I frowned but moved over and took it back. “Yes. Dark lighting and makeup will be fine.”
She stared at the peas in my hand before jerking her gaze upward. “Justin’s going to freak when he sees your eye. He’s protective of us both.”
I let that slide off my back because Justin would probably make a comment. It was his way of showing he cared.
“Speaking of Justin, you two are getting serious?”
Kelly turned a shade of red before rotating in the kitchen and starting to grab items from the cupboards. “Yeah.” Then she paused in midreach for a spatula before she rushed out, “Hemightvebroughtupthepossibilityoflivingtogether.”
I turned fully around, my coffee in hand, and stared back at her. Hard.
I wouldn’t have to wait long. A pigeon could stare her down, and Kelly would fold.
Suddenly, she threw down the spatula on the counter. It bounced, hit the side of the pan, and then bounced back onto the counter.
Kelly turned back around, a panicked look on her face. “I don’t know what to do! He dropped the bomb on me two nights ago, and I’ve been hyperventilating about what this might mean. Could mean. Would mean! I mean, I have no idea. I have horrible taste in men. You seem to like him, but what if we’re both wrong? What if my bad luck in men wore off onto you and—”
I set my coffee down and moved in front of her. If she didn’t breathe, she was going to pass out. I went to her and touched her arms, cutting her off. “Breathe.”
She did, her chest rising up, and she held it.
And held it.
And held it.
“Oh my god! Let it out!”
She did, choking and coughing at the end before she shook her head, a tear slipping from her eye. “I’m so scared, but I think I’m more scared about leaving you.”
Somewhere inside of me was a marshmallow, and it was melting. I started to pull her in for a hug, but she misunderstood, and she rested her forehead to my shoulder, bending at a slightly awkward angle. I began patting her back, burping my overgrown adult baby. “It’ll be okay. Justin’s a good guy, and I’ll be fine.”
“You’re not fine. You just never talk about it.”
I stepped back, frowning once more. “What do you mean?”
She gave me a long look before sighing. She swung her hands around, and one connected with the spatula, and she snatched it up. I didn’t think she was aware she was holding it and now swinging it around. “You’re not okay. I can tell. You’re never here unless Justin and I are here. You’ve not been to our Sunday bowling for three weeks. Justin took your place, and no one is happy about it.”
“What?” My stomach started to sink, but to be honest, it’d been sinking since I’d met Trace.
Trace.
This was all him.
Or no. My family. Dad. Brother. Mom. Nope. This was me, my luck.
Kelly was right. I wasn’t okay. “I think I’m cursed.”
“Yes!” The spatula went up in the air before she lowered her arms. “Wait. What? No. You’re not cursed. You’re just . . . not happy.” She scooted back. I didn’t think she could get any closer to that counter than she was unless she started climbing up it. She took a deep breath, those big eyes of her watching me with an emotion I didn’t like seeing. Fear. “I’m worried about you. I’m worried about if I move—what will happen to you? Before, when it was just you and me, we had our thing, and I’m not trying to put guilt on you because I don’t want you to take it the wrong way, but my job was to ground you. I did my job. I know your family stuff, but you were smiling, and we were hanging with friends. Since I met Justin, that’s started to go away. I don’t like that. If I move in with Justin, what will happen?” A tear slid down her other cheek. “Am I going to lose you completely?”
The award for shit friend goes to me.
“Hey.” I grabbed the spatula before she impaled herself with it. Her eyes widened, and I was right. She had no idea she’d even grabbed it. I tossed it on the counter away from her before standing in front of her again. I gentled my tone. Kelly responded better to low and soothing sounds. “I am just going through something. It’s got to do with my family, not you, and I don’t want you to worry about me. I was fine when you were married, remember?”
Her head lifted up an inch. Her shoulders relaxed a little too. “That’s right. You had that Latin lover, who was muy hot. Holy shit. I had to fan myself after I saw him every time.”
I cracked a grin, remembering Eduardo. “He was very pretty to look at.”
Her eyes bulged out, and she moved her head up and down in a dramatic nod. “Understatement of the year.”
Smothering a laugh, I kept on. “Your happiness is your happiness. There’s no contract or lease or deed on mine. Okay? You got me? If you want to move in with Justin, move in with Justin. I want you to be happy. If I found out that you didn’t because of me, you know how that would make me feel. I’d feel horrible. Right?”
“Yeah.” The ends of her mouth started to curve up.
“So if you want to move in with him, move in with him. I’m a big girl. I carry a gun around on a regular basis. I got a stick too. I’m kinda tough.”
A little bit higher and she was grinning now. “You got a badge too.”
I laughed. “I got a badge. You’re right. And trust me, I’m not afraid to use it.”
“That’s right.”
A few more pep talks like this, and she’d be cheering with the spatula in the air. Though I moved that back to the table because with Kelly, it could be turned into a weapon. I eyed her, tilting my head to the side. “You going to move in with your boyfriend, who I wholeheartedly approve of?”
A glow was starting to take over her face. She was low-key beaming at me, ducking her head in a bashful way. “You do, don’t you? You’ve never approved of any of my guys.”
“Justin’s the real deal. He’s a good guy, and I think if you move in with him, you’ll be happy and will make babies.”
She gasped. “You think?!” Her voice went up on a sharp hitch.
“I do.” Kelly’s dream was to be a mother. “I think Justin would be a great dad too.”
“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!” She was shaking her hands in the air, more tears coming to her eyes, and she was trying to brush them away at the same time as searching for a new spatula to grab. I didn’t think she was aware of any of this as well. “Babies. I didn’t—I didn’t dare let myself hope, you know? I’ve just been so scared. He is so great and ohmygoshbabiesohmygoshbabies.”
Oh, boy. Round two, but I knew for Kelly, she was going to get the happily ever after she always dreamed about, so I waded in, cutting her short and just hugging her.
This was a good thing to celebrate.
I purposely got to my shift a little late, just minutes late because I wanted to avoid seeing peeps in the locker room. Kelly worked wonders on me for makeup, and I knew the lighting in Katya would cover the rest, so it shouldn’t be a problem, but locker room fluorescent lighting wasn’t the greatest. It exposed everything. And not that my bruise was a big deal. I’d had worse, much worse, but I didn’t want to get another Kelly reaction from anyone.
Justin did give me a long look when I stepped behind my section.
I lifted my head up in one of those manly nods. It seemed to work between him and me. He stopped studying me, giving me one back, and we were off to work.
They had a new DJ, one whose name I even recognized. He’d been on a reality show too. Kelly had given me the info on the ride in, but my mind had been elsewhere. I’d realized today that it’d been too quiet on my mom’s front. I’d been avoiding her because I didn’t want to deal with questions about her sister, but I was now thinking maybe she was avoiding me, too, and that would never sit right with me.
I made a note to head her way tomorrow, whether she wanted me there or not.
But back to the DJ.
The club was busier than normal, and after the thirtieth girl was almost crushed against my bar, I’d had enough.
I headed over to Justin. “Can you cover me for a minute?”
“Yeah.” He was distracted, finishing a drink, but glanced over his shoulder. He did a double take. “What happened to your face?”
Kelly must not have gotten to him yet, which wasn’t surprising. I’d yet to see her for the first hour, which meant she was swallowed up by the crowd, working.
“It’s nothing. Work thing.”
“Here work thing?”
“PO work thing.”
Understanding dawned, and he nodded. “Gotcha. Yeah. I’ll keep an eye on your section. Where are you going?”
“A word with Anthony. This place is violating too many fire codes for me to ignore it.”
“Good luck.”
Yeah, yeah. I was noting his sarcasm, but this place was just asking for a fire marshal visit. I pushed through the crowd, seeing two of the bouncers outside of Anthony’s office. “He in?”
They exchanged a look before one shifted forward, but he didn’t seem too sure he wanted to do that. “Uh, boss is with the boss. He doesn’t want to be interrupted.”
Lovely. I was being sarcastic. “How long have they been in there?”
The two shared another look.
I didn’t wait for them to figure out which would respond to me. I jerked a thumb behind me. “I don’t have time for this. You see what’s happening out there? Let me in there to talk to Anthony, or this place is going to get an official visit. It’s out of control out there.”
They did another look thing, and I was out of patience.
I shoved between them, opened the door, and pushed inside.
I didn’t give a look at who else was in the office before twisting and locking it. Not that the two guys were going to try and fight me. They knew me. The charade was more for them so Anthony wouldn’t be too pissed at how easy they let me in.
I looked around, and Anthony had an eyebrow raised; he was sitting behind his desk. “Really? I bet they just let you walk right past them.”
Okay. So the show had been for nothing. I shrugged. “I have that kind of demeanor.” I’d been preparing myself to see Trace in Anthony’s office and was trying to avoid the pull to look at him, but it wasn’t Trace. It was the other one, Ashton Walden, and he was eerily studying me.
I frowned. “What?”
Ashton’s eyes narrowed. He pointed at me. “You got something on your face.”
I started to reach up, thinking it was a bug or glitter, but realized he was referring to my bruise. “It’s nothing.”
His eyes cooled. “Right.”
His head swung toward Anthony, who was watching our exchange with both of his eyebrows raised, and he was leaning as far back in his seat as he could get.
Ashton said, “You do what you feel is fit.”
Then he started past me for the door.
I shifted aside, but when Ashton didn’t open the door, I looked back at him.
He was staring smack at me, his eyes flat, his mouth in a line. “He’s going to want to see that for himself.”
The door opened, and he was gone after that.
I closed my eyes, just a second, and let the curse word slip in my mind. Shit.
“Okay.” Anthony’s chair squeaked as he stood up, and he held his hands in front of him in surrender. “I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know about whatever the fuck that was between you two, or why you obviously have a black eye. You’re tough and threatening, and it’s not my job to worry about you, so all that said, what are you doing in here?”
“To threaten you.” I pointed outside. “You know how full it is out there? Your guys at the door aren’t sticking with the capacity limit.”
“We got a temporary permit for tonight. The DJ’s a celebrity.”
“Your temporary permit is bullshit. Scale the people back, or you don’t want to know the consequences.” I began reaching for the door.
“Or what? You’re going to call us in?”
I stopped, my arms folding over my chest. I gave him a cool look. “You kidding me? I’d be shocked if there haven’t already been one or two people who’ve already been trampled or near trampled. I’ve had to pull girls over the bar. It’s too crowded out there. If the fire guys come here and see that I wasn’t the one who called them, you bet your ass this will affect my other job. Get your shit together. I’m not playing.”
I yanked open the door.
The two bouncers scattered, and I marched right back. No one got in my way, so I was guessing my irritation was clearing the way.
There was no change in the next fifteen minutes, but the fifteen after that, the bouncers were wading through the crowd and pulling people out. It was thinning, enough where I didn’t need to be tense about seeing some of the fire guys I knew.
I went back to work, even spotting Kelly a few times.
Justin came over at one point. “I have no idea what you did, but I noted the timing. Thank you.”
I grunted, jerking my chin up.
He flashed me a smile, with two thumbs up in a cheesy grin.
I almost missed our manly normal greeting, but it was easier to work now, so I was relaxed enough to give him a half grin back.
Anthony showed up not long after that, one of his eyebrows still raised. “Happy?”
I lost my half grin. “Yes.”
He rolled his eyes but kept moving through the club.
I watched him go. He was checking everything over, and Justin shared a look with me after he moved past his section too. I was thinking it was the first time he’d seen Anthony actually walk through the club. My threat of people trampled must’ve rattled him.
Either way, the DJ was good, and the people weren’t going to get crushed. I was content for the rest of the night. It was an hour later when I was getting low on vodka. The people who were supposed to help us keep stocked up must’ve fallen behind. I grabbed one of the bottles and raised it in the air to get Justin’s attention. He looked and I shook it, showing that it was empty.
He gave me a nod, raising one thumb up this time.
I slipped out and headed for the back where we kept the extra stock. It was a bit of weaving through a hallway because I rarely came back here. The sounds of the club faded, and I came to the room and went inside.
It was dark.
Finding the light, I switched it on, and at that time, the door opened.
Trace shoved in.
“Wha—”
His hands were on me, and he snapped out, “Yes.” He locked the door and barricaded it, but when I braced myself, thinking he was going to kiss me, his hands turned gentle, touching my face. He leaned over me, moving me more under the light so he could see me better. He went eerily still, his touch so soft that it was soothing, and he traced the edge of the bruise, before moving my head gently from side to side.
He was looking for more bruises, and he wasn’t content with just my face. He moved me around, his touch still so gentle as he had me turn around in front of him, lifting my hair so he could inspect my neck. “I’m fine.”
He stopped me in front of him when he was done, but he was focused back on the bruise. “Who?”
I flushed, starting to shake my head. I began to step back, but he stopped me, taking my hips and moving me closer to him. He leaned fully back against the door, opening his legs, and he fit me in between them.
I should leave the room or at least step back.
But dammit. My body was heating, and the swirls were grazing my insides. Those were his swirls, making me go crazy.
“Who touched you?”
I let out an irritated sound. “It was the sister of one of my guys. What are you going to do? Threaten her?”
“Who?” His eyes flashed, and his fingers held firmer to my hips, but his thumbs began rubbing back and forth, tunneling under my shirt. “I can find out.”
I stilled.
Jesus. I knew they had people on their payroll. Knew from the trip up north, but hearing it said in front of me so easily sent chills down my spine.
“Are you protecting my brother?”
He stilled, even more than he had been.
My head reared back, just an inch, and I took him in. His face was guarded but not surprised. That was all I needed to know.
“Why are you protecting my brother?”
He let out a soft sigh, almost so soft that I didn’t hear it. “He’s someone you love. Can’t we leave it at that?”
My heart flipped over, but damn. Damn! Seriously? He said that?
I was mad at him, but I was starting to forget why I was mad at him, and then I remembered—he made me a criminal.
I moved back, firmly.
When he tried holding me in place, I shoved back even more assertively. “Thank you.”
I spotted the vodka I needed.
“For what?”
I grabbed two bottles and moved around him. “For reminding me why you can’t touch me.”
As I reached for the door, he stepped aside. “Jess.”
I opened the door but gave him a searing look, or I hoped because my insides were a jumbled mess. He did that to me. Every time. Right and wrong, good and bad, he was fucking me up.
“You were hurt.”
“I’ve been hurt before.”
His eyebrows dipped low. “What does that mean?”
“Just . . .” I held a hand up and cursed when I heard my voice break. I couldn’t finish what I needed to say.
My heart wasn’t in it because he was here, and he was worried, and . . .
I left, feeling my heart breaking in a way that I never knew it could.
There were people in the hallway. I ignored them, not looking, and went right back to my section, and for the first real time, I started to consider if this was going to be my last night here.
Justin came over twenty minutes later, during a brief break. “You okay? You look stressed.”
“Yeah.” I’d been on autopilot since seeing Trace, and I even tried to give him a smile. I was faking. I knew it wouldn’t match my eyes, and Justin saw through it, giving my shoulder a soft squeeze before going back to his section. “Hang in there, okay?”
I had no other option, but Anthony made a point of coming to tell me before closing that he wasn’t here anymore, and it was then that I realized how I’d been half holding my breath all night long.
And I realized that I was disappointed.
