Me: Are you sleeping?
My phone buzzed when the elevators opened for my floor.
Jess: No.
Me: Where exactly are you?
Jess: In bed, just not asleep.
I went to the bar, poured a whiskey, and took it with me to the bathroom. After turning the shower on, I stepped back and began taking my clothes off.
Me: I want you naked.
I began stroking myself, waiting for her, envisioning her lying there, considering it.
Jess: I can’t do this with you.
Me: Take your clothes off and wet your lips, baby. Now.
Jess: These texts could be evidence.
Me: I’m hard already and I’m getting harder. Do it. Now.
Head back, eyes closed, I kept going, imagining her right now, seeing her sliding her pants down, her underwear next.
Jess: I’m naked.
Me: Are you under your covers?
Jess: You want me to be?
Me: No. I want the open air to touch you. Suck on your fingers, baby. Put one inside of you.
Jess: I have one in me.
Me: Play with yourself. Push in, move it around. Make some room, and then put a second finger in you.
Me: Are you doing it? Tell me.
Jess: I am. I’m fucking myself with them.
Me: Keep going.
Me: Harder.
Me: Push all the way in, as far as you can. Arch your back. Lift your hips up for better access. Do it for me.
Jess: I am. It feels so good.
Me: Keep going. Harder now. A little rougher.
My hand was a fucking vacuum over my dick. Holy fuck. I was seeing everything she was doing, but it was at my commands. She was following my orders.
Jess: I’m feeling weird doing this.
Me: Don’t. It’s you and me. You keep going or I’m driving over and doing it myself.
I groaned as I kept pace with her. My head was down, my heart was racing. Jesus. The thought of her touching herself, thinking of me as she did that, was going to make me blow early.
I had to pause, squeezing harder to hold off.
The urge to go over there and do what I threatened was raging inside of me. Why couldn’t I drive over there? Why couldn’t I lay claim to her body all over again? She’d let me. One touch and she folded, but it was the same for me. One thought of her and I wanted to brand her from the inside out so she only felt me for the rest of her life.
Jess: I’m going to come. It’s coming.
Me: One second. Let me catch up. I want to go when you go. Can you do that for me?
Jess: I’m waiting. Hurry up!
I grinned, chuckling.
Me: One more stroke, baby. For me.
Jess: Okay. Going . . .
Me: Are you coming?
Jess: Yes!
Two more jerks of my own and I was blowing. I let it out, finishing with a few more strokes to get everything, and then I leaned back against the counter.
Me: Did you come?
Jess: Yes. You?
Me: I did. How are you feeling now?
Jess: Weird.
I grinned.
Me: Seems to be the theme tonight?
Jess: Just hard doing this with you but without you. And to type one handed. I tried kissing someone tonight, forcing you out of my mind.
I hit dial, and she picked up a second later, breathless. “Hello?”
“You did what?” I growled.
“It didn’t work.” She sounded drowsy and sad at the same time. “He wasn’t you. You’ve ruined me for men. You don’t get it.”
I quieted. “What don’t I get?”
“You and me, if we do this . . . everything changes for me. Everything.”
Yeah. I was getting that. “The alternative is to go mad because that’s where I’m at, Jess. Are you?”
She didn’t answer.
I didn’t push her, but it felt right to be standing bare-ass naked in my bathroom, the shower on and waiting for me, listening to her breathe through my phone. I was in no hurry to put an end to this.
“I choose you, and I’ll lose everything else.”
“It doesn’t have to be like that.”
“It does, and you know it. It is how it is, so the question should actually be for you: Are you okay knowing what it’ll cost me to have you?”
She hung up after, and it took me a long time before I pulled the phone away from my ear.
A long time.
