Samuel’s alarm woke me. He got up before I had even managed to open my eyes. Being an early bird was definitely harder after I had wine.
I sat up and quickly slid into my wheelchair. Samuel disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door.
With a cautious glance at the closed door, I hurried toward the walk-in closet.
Samuel’s taupe jacket hung from a coat stand. I reached up and fumbled for the pocket. When I felt something solid, I tried to reach in. I pushed myself up and finally managed to grip the phone. I listened closely. The water in the bathroom was still running. I stared at the screen. When I touched the screen, I could see the beginning of a Whatsapp message from a person called F. The message read: When can we see each other again?
My pulse raced as my thoughts tumbled over each other. What swipe gesture had Samuel used to unlock his other phone? Maybe it was the same for this.
I tried an inverted L, but that didn’t work. Then an L with a 45 degree angle instead of ninety, but still nothing.
The click of the doorknob being turned made me look up. The shower wasn’t running anymore. I pushed up and shoved the phone back into the jacket pocket then plopped down. I didn’t have time to move out of the walk-in closet though before Samuel walked out of the bathroom. His eyes moved from the vacant bed to me. His brows puckered. “Are you looking for something?”
“Uh, I forgot that my clothes still haven’t been moved out of my luggage.”
I motioned to the three suitcases beside my side of the bed.
Samuel gave a slow nod. He came toward me, only in boxers. With the narrow space of the closet, he stood very close to me as he grabbed his white shirt and suit from the hangers. After having read the message from F., having him so close was difficult. I wheeled out so he could dress. I could feel his eyes on me as I rummaged through the suitcase, which lay propped up on a suitcase holder.
“I’m in a hurry. I don’t think we’ll have time to have breakfast together.”
“That’s okay,” I said without looking up from my suitcase as if I had to solve a difficult math equation and not just pick an outfit for the day.
“All right,” he said slowly. After a moment of silence, he finally walked out.
I sucked in a deep breath and closed my eyes against the deep sense of despair. I balled my hands to fists and counted to five until I had a grip on myself. During the desperate moments of my recovery, I’d often counted to five, ten, or sometimes even much higher to calm myself. When I opened my eyes again, I felt more in control.
I picked my favorite summer dress with a floral print and spaghetti straps. I stayed barefoot, not in the mood to wear the same shoes as yesterday, and the others were still downstairs in packages.
Without Samuel at the table, I chatted with Giorgia during breakfast and told her what I’d witnessed. She messaged me back at once.
That’s suspicious. But there could still be another explanation.
Azzurra came in. I hadn’t touched the cornetto on my plate yet and had only taken a sip of my cappuccino. The events of the morning had spoiled my appetite.
“Mrs. Mione is here to see you.”
Ines poked her head in behind Azzurra with an apologetic smile. “Can I come in? I hope I don’t interrupt you?”
“Ines, good morning,” I said in surprise and turned my phone off. I didn’t want Ines to find out I suspected her son of infidelity. “Please come in. Do you want to join me for breakfast?”
Ines came over and kissed my cheeks in greeting before she sank down across from me in Samuel’s place. “I only had a fruit salad…” She eyed the assortment of pastries. “Oh well.” She picked up a cornetto and smiled as she took a bite.
“Did Samuel ask you to come over to keep an eye on me because he worried I can’t be alone?” I motioned at the wheelchair.
Ines smiled, a hint of embarrassment playing across her face. “He called me this morning and asked if I could come over to help you put your clothes in the closet.”
“That’s all?”
She let out a laugh. “He’s worried because this is a new house for you, and you don’t know anyone yet.”
“I’m used to spending lots of time on my own in a house. I can handle it, especially because Samuel made sure the house is accessible.”
“Don’t be mad at him. I’m sure he’ll soon see that you can handle the situation.”
I definitely wasn’t mad at Samuel for trying to help. I was angry because of his second phone. I nodded. “Don’t worry, I’m not. We don’t know each other very well yet. He’ll soon realize that I’m more than capable of handling myself and more.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it!” Ines chuckled. “Which is why I asked the priest in our community if you can help. We have a sort of self-help group for Made Men and their families with disabilities that our priest leads.”
“Thank you. If you give me his contact information, I’ll try to be useful as soon as possible.”
After breakfast, Ines and I moved on to the bedroom. I realized I still hadn’t seen my bodyguard. Because Samuel had left so abruptly in the morning, he didn’t introduce me to him.
“My shoes and most of my bags are still down in the lobby in boxes,” I said when we entered the bedroom together.
“I could ask Leo, your bodyguard, if you want. Have you met him yet?”
“No,” I said, sparing Ines the details of my morning.
“Let me give him a call.” She picked up her phone and gave him instructions on where to find the boxes. She ended the call. “He was Sofia’s bodyguard before she married your brother. Samuel thought it was a good idea to have him become your personal bodyguard, and I agree. He’s very discreet, professional, and vigilant. Let me give you his number. Samuel’s head is always at work. It might be a while before he remembers to give you the details you need to really thrive here.”
He had his head with a certain F. too. I tried to push the thought aside because it was ruining my day. There wasn’t anything I could do about it now.
Ines put a hand on my shoulder. “Are you not feeling well?”
“I’m just a little tired. I didn’t sleep all that well.”
A knock on the door interrupted our conversation.
“Come in,” Ines and I said at the same time. She gave me an apologetic smile and stepped into the background. “This is your home. I’m sorry.”
I sent her a smile to show her it was okay.
A tall, very bulky man with a neck like a bull came in carrying two boxes. “Where should I put them?”
“In front of the walk-in closet, please,” I said, motioning in that direction. He put them down where I pointed, then turned to me. He wasn’t as young as I’d suspected. Maybe in his late forties, but he would definitely scare away many people. He had a buzz cut, and his T-shirt strained over his muscles. Tattoos of a woman and five children graced his right arm. I had to admit I never understood why someone got a detailed portrait of their loved ones tattooed into their skin. They rarely resembled the real person. They creeped me out like Madame Tussauds wax figures.
He gave me a broad smile. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Mione.” He glanced at Ines. “And to see you again, Mrs., uh, Mione.”
I laughed. “How about you call me Emma? It’s less confusing.”
“And I’ve told you before that I’m Ines.”
He shrugged.
“How are your children?” Ines asked.
“The boy’s going to give me a heart attack. I should have been happy with my four girls and not tried for a fifth.”
I burst out laughing. I could tell he loved his son very much and wasn’t serious. “How old is he?”
“Seven.” He made a suffering face. “My wife wants another one, but I told her only if she wants to kill me. I’m too old.”
“You’re not old! You’re my age,” Ines said.
“I can’t argue with that.”
I grinned, relieved that I had such a nice bodyguard. It could get awkward if someone sour or moody guarded you all day.
“Do you need help with unpacking?” he asked, nodding toward the boxes.
“No, thank you.” I preferred to sort my clothes into the wardrobe without a male presence.
He tipped an invisible hat and moved outside. “You know where to find me.”
I turned to Ines once he was gone. “He’s really nice.”
“He was Sofia’s favorite. She had another bodyguard who shared the job with Leo, but he’s a bit broodier to say it nicely.” Ines gestured to the boxes. “Should we get started?”
I nodded. I really wanted all of my clothes within reach.
We began with the shoes, then quickly moved on to my suitcases. When I removed a few dresses that I had packed for nostalgic reasons, even if I hadn’t worn them in more than a year, a few photos fell out. Photos of myself before the accident. Photos of me dancing on stage, photos of me doing a grand jete, my favorite ballet jump. I swallowed hard. I had forgotten I’d hidden them beneath my clothes. In the past, I’d often taken them out and looked at them, feeling wistful, and a part of me still did. It would probably never change, but another part longed to dance again. I had always suppressed any thought of dancing, but since my wedding, a new desire to dance had formed, and I was determined to finally give in to it.
Ines cleared her throat, a look of uncertainty on her face. “Are you okay?”
I smiled. “I am, yes.” I held up the photos. “I forgot about these.”
Ines scanned the photos and touched my arm. “I can tell you did ballet from the way you hold yourself and move your fingers and arms. You exude elegance.”
“Oh wow, thank you. Did you do ballet?”
“For a while as a girl before my father decided I shouldn’t wear leotards.”
I nodded. I put the photos into one of the drawers.
“I loved seeing you and Samuel dance. Maybe you could take lessons? If you miss dancing.”
“I do. I guess I’ll have to think about it.” I decided to change the topic as dancing felt personal in a way I couldn’t explain. “Are people still talking about the marriage? About me?”
I didn’t even want to imagine the vicious turn the gossip would take if people found out about a mistress. I hated being pitied. I needed to figure out a way to handle the situation in a way that saved me from heartache and pathetic glances.
“Some do,” Ines said hesitantly, then gave me a reassuring smile. “Don’t mind them. You’re now Samuel’s wife, and that’s all that matters. I’m very happy about it.”
I tilted my head, trying to gauge if Ines really meant it. She was a kind woman, but she was also raised in the mafia, and tolerating people who weren’t perfect by our society’s standards wasn’t our world’s forte. “That’s very sweet of you to say.”
Ines put down a scarf she was about to put on a higher shelf for my winter wardrobe. “I’m being serious, Emma. I’m going to be very open. I was concerned in the beginning. Samuel’s had a few tough years with his sister being kidnapped and some of his friends dying, and just the overall conflict with the Camorra. I wanted a strong but caring woman at his side.”
People needed to stop thinking my wheelchair made me weak in any way. If anything, my struggles have made me stronger. I was fairly sure I could handle almost anything.
I opened my mouth to tell her that my wheelchair didn’t mean I wasn’t strong and caring, but she raised a palm to stop me and continued, “I don’t know you very well, but what I’ve seen so far convinced me that you can be that woman for Samuel.”
“I’ll do my best to be a good wife, if he lets me.”
Ines smiled bitterly. “He can be stubborn and withdrawn. Like his father, he prefers to swallow his problems until they burst out of him. I hope he’ll be a good husband. I know he has it in him, but sometimes he’s his own worst enemy.”
I was surprised by Ines’s openness, but at the same time relieved that she didn’t see Samuel as some sort of saint.
Ines opened the last suitcase, and a heap of lingerie fell out. They were mostly new. I had bought them with Samuel in mind, though I really enjoyed wearing sexy underwear for my own well-being too.
“No reason to be embarrassed.” Ines picked up my underwear, then put it in the drawer I had picked for it.
We finished unpacking in the early afternoon and had coffee together.
“Would you mind if I take a dip in your pool? We don’t have one, and it’s been too long since I’ve swum.”
“Of course I don’t mind. You can have one of my bikinis.” I was glad that Ines wanted to spend a bit more time with me. Maybe she could sense that I longed for company today. I really liked her, which was a relief.
While Ines swam a few laps in the pool, I researched things to do in Minneapolis apart from the charity work I wanted to begin as soon as possible. I stumbled upon an inclusive dance studio that had several dance courses for people with disabilities or, as they put it, differently abled. I loved the term. Everything from breakdance over jazz dance, standard dances to ballet. I felt a deep ache inside me, not necessarily for ballet but for dancing, for moving my body in rhythm with music.
It was a public studio, so I wasn’t sure how happy Samuel would be if I went there. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to tell him about it. Maybe I could just ask Leo to take me there and pretend he was my husband. Though, Samuel probably wouldn’t be impressed by such a move.
I’d simply discuss my plans with him tonight after asking him about F.
My belly constricted with nerves just thinking about that confrontation.
When Ines returned to the porch after taking a shower, once again perfectly dressed in a skirt and short-sleeved blouse, she sank down beside me.
“It’s getting late. I should leave so you can have a nice evening with Samuel.”
I wasn’t so sure about the nice part, but I definitely needed to be alone with Samuel.
My phone beeped with a text from Samuel telling me that he’d be late, and I should eat without him.
“Samuel’s working late.”
Her face pinched in disapproval. “Would you like me to stay?”
“Are you sure? What about your husband?”
“I’ll send him a message. He had a business lunch anyway. I’m sure he won’t mind.”
Eating with Ines was nice, but my mind kept drifting to Samuel and what he was doing. Ines hadn’t mentioned her husband working late, but wouldn’t he if things were so busy?
I didn’t want to be the jealous bride, but I wondered if Samuel was with another woman, with that F.
The whispers of other people finally got to me, their assumption that a man like Samuel would have a mistress in a marriage with someone like me. As if I was incapable of fulfilling his needs. And even if that were the case, that didn’t mean the vows of fidelity were void.
I needed to know. The chances of getting an honest answer probably weren’t too high, but maybe his reaction would give him away.
When Samuel finally came home late at night, he looked surprised when I was still up and waiting for him in the bedroom. I put down the book I’d been reading and looked at him. My bravado dwindled seeing his eyes. I hated conflict, and this early on in our marriage, I could do lasting damage, but I needed to speak my mind, or I’d go insane.
“Are you all right?” Samuel asked as he opened his cuffs. For some reason, the movement made me long for his touch, for what we had on our wedding night.
The muscles in his forearms flexed, and I could hardly look away. It would have been easier to keep watching him and duck away from the questions tingling on my tongue.
I cleared my throat. “You agreed to marry me.”
Samuel’s brows drew together. He was obviously unsure where I was going with this. I, myself, wasn’t sure how to speak my mind.
“Maybe I’m not what some people in our world consider a good catch, and perhaps some people even believe I can’t be a good wife, but I’m just as capable as any other woman. I also expect to be treated with respect, and for me, that includes faithfulness or, at the very least, honesty. If you are with someone else, I want to know.”
