After Samuel left the bed, I barely slept. Having seen how hard his nightmare had affected him and how the effects of it had lasted even after he’d woken up had shaken me too. The withdrawal would be emotionally draining, not just physically.
When I woke up after having fallen asleep eventually, Samuel’s side of the bed was still empty. I quickly got ready, then headed downstairs to find him. A small part of me was worried that he’d found a way to drink. When I found him on the sofa, asleep with his chin on his chest and covered with a cozy blanket, guilt overwhelmed me. I needed to trust Samuel. But I knew addiction was a tough opponent.
“He fell asleep thirty minutes ago,” Ines said, startling me in my wheelchair. She appeared beside me with a cup of coffee cradled in her palms. “He was exhausted. Pietro was with him all night.”
“That was so sweet of him. I should have been there for him as his wife.”
Ines touched my shoulder with a gentle smile. “I think it was important for Samuel and Pietro to talk and bond over this experience. And you need lots of sleep. You’re growing a human.”
The concept was still hard to grasp for me.
“Come on, let’s have breakfast. Samuel needs some more rest.”
Ines and I ate alone in the dining room. Pietro had to leave for work early despite his lack of sleep. I had a feeling Samuel would be annoyed that his father had left without him. But considering his pallor, it was for the best if he spent the day on the sofa.
I wasn’t sure if the worst withdrawal symptoms were already over. It was Christmas Eve in three days, and I hoped we’d overcome the worst by then.
Two hours later, my worries were confirmed. Samuel woke shivering and sweaty from another nightmare, and again, it took him several moments to realize he had been dreaming.
His eyes met mine, and he gave me a tight smile. I wheeled over to him and touched his thigh. “Maybe a bath will help.”
He nodded. “I definitely need to shower. Maybe a bath would be even better.” He pushed to his feet, then swayed slightly before he caught himself. His lips thinned, and a look of annoyance filled his eyes. Samuel, like many Made Men, hated any sign of weakness. “After a few more days, you’ll feel more like yourself again.”
He frowned. “Will I? I don’t even remember what it was like before I started drinking every day.”
“We’ll figure it out together.” Samuel leaned down and kissed the top of my head before he straightened once more.
He shivered. He looked as if he was going to be sick at any moment. He closed his eyes, squared his shoulders, then headed out. I followed him but stopped in the entry.
Watching Samuel like this filled me with pride and sadness. I hated seeing him suffering even though I knew it was necessary.
Ines came toward me and squeezed my shoulder as we watched Samuel drag himself upstairs for a shower. “He’s doing it for you and your child, not for himself.”
“I know. I hope he realizes that he’s worth it too.”
“One day. If anyone can make him see his self-worth, it’s you.”
I’d do my best. I had all the patience in the world. My accident had taught me perseverance.
Despite his frustration with himself and his body, Samuel finally listened and rested on the sofa most of the day. After an early dinner, we went upstairs shortly after eight. I too felt tired from the previous night, so I didn’t mind an early bedtime. Tomorrow, Danilo and Sofia would join us, and I hoped it wouldn’t be too much for Samuel. Danilo had sent me several messages since the accident, and he’d definitely want to talk to me privately tomorrow.
Samuel watched me from the bench in front of the bed as I changed into my nightgown awkwardly. With my growing belly, getting dressed was more difficult, especially as my body took up more room in my wheelchair so I had less space to move. I gave him a smile before I moved into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I hadn’t bothered putting on makeup today. When I started brushing my hair, Samuel joined me in the bathroom. He watched me intensely as he brushed his teeth.
Eventually, I put down the brush. Samuel’s intense observation made me feel incredibly hot. He rinsed his mouth, then turned to me. “You’re gorgeous and sexy, you know that?”
I flushed at his praise. “Thanks to you, I often do.”
He came toward me and braced himself on my wheelchair. “Then I’m doing it wrong. You should always feel that way.”
I smiled. “Nobody always feels sexy and gorgeous.” Samuel leaned down and kissed me. One of his hands cupped my face and throat, tilting my head back so he could deepen the kiss. My body sprang to life at the passionate kiss, at the incredible heat he emitted, and the way his tongue played with mine. “I want you. Let me make love to you.”
I hesitated. Samuel had had a hard day. His body had been put through the wringer, and I was worried that it would frustrate him if he didn’t perform like he was used to. Samuel was proud, and he’d definitely see it as a hit to his manliness. But I longed for him. Maybe he needed this to prove to himself that we were still okay and we’d get through this. I wanted to show him that everything would be okay. Perhaps he needed more than words to truly believe it.
Samuel pulled back with a bitter smile. “I guess my performance today wasn’t a huge turn-on.”
I frowned. “That’s nonsense. You always turn me on, Samuel. You’re sexy.” I ran my hands down his chest, then slid my fingers under his shirt and brushed his arms and chest. “I’m just worried that you’re demanding too much from your body.”
“I know my body might ruin things for me, but I don’t care. I need to make love to you. I need to feel something good. I need you, Emma.”
“Oh Samuel,” I whispered.
“And I’ll make sure you come, even if my cock fucks up.”
“I don’t care about coming. I want to be with you, that’s all.”
His lips crashed against mine once again. Our kiss banished the last doubt from my mind. I tugged at his shirt, desperate to get him naked. I never got enough of seeing Samuel naked. He was Adonis in human form, and he was all mine. Every glorious inch of him. Samuel dragged his shirt over his head, and my fingers mapped his skin as my eyes admired it. I tugged at the waistband of his pajama bottoms until they slid down his hips and pooled at his feet, revealing his half-erect cock. I took him in my hands and leaned forward, eager to pleasure him. Samuel let out a groan when his tip slid into my mouth. He regarded me through half-lidded eyes, but from the tight set of his shoulders, I could tell he was tense.
As I circled him with my tongue and cupped his balls, he grew harder immediately.
Samuel stroked my hair out of my face to get a better look. “This is about you, Emma, not me.”
“This is about us,” I corrected and sucked him slowly into my mouth until his tip hit the back of my throat. With my eyes on him, I let his cock glide out again, then sucked it back in. Samuel held my head as I pleasured him with my tongue and lips.
Samuel stepped back and grabbed my hips, then hoisted me up on the counter. He pushed up my nightgown and pulled my panties down my legs. It was damp with arousal. Samuel’s gaze was full of need and desire as he looked into my eyes. “Now it’s your turn. I’ll worship your gorgeous body until you beg me to stop.”
I bit my lip. “I doubt I can ever have enough of your touch. It’s my addiction.”
“The right kind of addiction,” Samuel growled.
SAMUEL
I kissed Emma hard, grabbing her face with both hands. She tilted her head up eagerly.
I tugged down her strap and freed one perfect breast. I released her lips and moved lower so my lips could cup her nipple. She arched against me, and I sucked more of her breast into my mouth. My other hand massaged her hip, then stroked along her thigh. Emma was panting as I lavished her nipple with attention, and the scent of her arousal flooded my nose like an intoxicating perfume. I released Emma’s nipple and leaned back to get a better view as I slowly pushed her legs apart, revealing her glistening pussy. Emma exhaled with a look of anticipation on her face. I splayed my fingers across her inner thigh, spreading her even wider open for me. The sight of her opening, ready and eager for me, sent a new flood of blood into my cock. At least, that part of my body didn’t disappoint me today.
I ran my thumb over Emma’s opening and up over her silky lips, parting them as I did until I reached the slight swell of her clit. I focused my attention there, gently stroking up, spreading her wetness and coaxing her little button out with my ministration. Emma leaned back on her palms, panting, her chest heaving. She bit her lip and swallowed.
I could tell she was trying to be quiet. “Are you worried my parents can hear us?” I rubbed her clit a little harder and faster. Her slickness made it easy for my finger to move.
She gave me a pleading look.
“Trust me, they’ll be happy to know you make me happy right now.”
I leaned closer, kissed her ear, then murmured, “How many do you want?”
She watched me through half-lidded eyes as my thumb brought her closer and closer to release.
“How many fingers do you want in your tight pussy, love?”
She shuddered, then breathed, “Three.”
“My insatiable kitten. Let’s hope you can take what you’re asking for.”
She bit her lip, her gaze pure sex. “Your cock is bigger than that, and I can handle him.”
I grinned. My thumb rubbed her clit harder as I stroked her opening with the fingers of my other hand. I slid in one finger. “One.” I pulled it out and pushed in two fingers. “Two.” Her lashes fluttered, her lips parted as she panted harder.
I pushed in three fingers, and Emma clenched around me, her eyes falling shut as she mounted the last bit to her climax.
“Good girl,” I praised her as she spasmed around my fingers that I curled as deeply in her pussy as I could while my thumb circled her engorged clit. Her fingers grabbed the edge of the marble counter as she whimpered and shuddered through her release. Arousal slicked my fingers. When she came down from her high, I pulled out my fingers.
“Now I need a taste.” Emma’s eyes slid open as I knelt and bent over her pussy. She grabbed my hair as if to stop me, but I leaned forward until my tongue reached her opening. I dipped in for the first intense taste, groaning deeply as I did so.
Emma leaned back against the mirror, her head dipped back and her eyes closed. Her fingers against my head became slack, but her pussy twitched against my mouth, overstimulated but at the same time eager for what I was doing. I traced every inch of her pussy with my tongue, lapping up Emma’s sweetness. “This tastes better than any bourbon or whisky. I think I’ll simply have to eat you out whenever I feel the need for a drink.”
Emma let out a raw laugh, her eyes peeling open slowly. I smirked. Then I pushed up to my feet. Emma reached for my face and pulled me in for a kiss. I grabbed her ass cheeks and lifted her off the counter. After securing her legs around my waist, I carried her over to the bed.
I put her down and stretched out on top of her. My cock was pressed against her pussy, but I didn’t want to fuck her yet. I simply wanted to feel her, to kiss her. I cradled her head and kissed her deeply. Our eyes locked as we kissed, and my heart swelled at the look of tenderness in Emma’s gaze. I pulled back. “I love you. I know I don’t say it often, but I love you every second of the day. I’m glad you put up with my shit and are still by my side. I don’t want to imagine my life without you.”
“I love you too.”
She twitched, eyes darting down. I raised my eyebrows. “The baby kicked very hard.”
I rolled off her and stared at her exposed belly. Emma took my hand and put it down on the spot beneath her ribs. It took a couple of moments before I felt a gentle shift. Emma winced. She could obviously feel the movements more strongly than I did. Still I kept my palm there and felt another slight movement. I smiled. Most days, becoming a father seemed far away, but this made it more real. It also emphasized how important it was for me to get a grip on my fucking alcohol problem. I wouldn’t let it ruin everything. I had already done a good enough job of that with the crash.
Emma ran her fingers through my hair. “The past is the past. You have today and every day that follows to prove yourself.”
Fuck, and I would. I pressed my ear against Emma’s belly, wondering if I could hear anything. Except for the low rumble of Emma’s belly, there was nothing. I cocked an eyebrow at Emma. “Hungry?” I asked suggestively.
Emma gave me an embarrassed smile. “For food, yes. I’m sorry. I feel like I’m constantly starving, especially in the evening.”
I chuckled and got out of bed. “What are you in the mood for?” I asked as I put on pajama pants and a T-shirt.
Emma sat up with a mortified expression. “PB&J sandwich, warm milk, and pretzels.”
I shook my head with a deep laugh. “All right. I’ll raid the fridge and cabinets to see what we have.” I paused. “Do you want me to head out to a store if we’re out of anything?”
She quickly shook her head. “Just surprise me with a good substitute.”
“Your wish is my command.” I jogged down the stairs but had to slow down halfway because my head spun again. I was annoyed at my body for messing with me like that. I’d hoped I wouldn’t show any obvious withdrawal symptoms.
Upon hearing me, Dad emerged from the living room with a look of concern on his face. “Everything okay?”
“Emma is hungry. I need to search the kitchen for the things that strike her fancy.”
Dad chuckled and followed me into the kitchen. If it was to help me or to make sure I didn’t find any alcohol, I wasn’t sure. Usually, there was always a cooking wine on the counter and one in the fridge, but Mom had thrown them away.
I didn’t find peanut butter, only almond butter that Mom used for breakfast bowls, and a sugar-free chia jam. Neither would probably quench Emma’s cravings. The grain-free protein bread that Dad ate definitely wouldn’t get me any bonus points either, but I had to work with what I had.
“Do you want me to send one of the bodyguards out to the store?” Dad asked.
“I fear Emma will have starved by then.”
Dad nodded as if he could remember Mom being the same way.
I added maple syrup to the chia jam for sweetness, which resulted in a very soppy sandwich. I grabbed some cutlery in case Emma needed it. Then I heated some milk in the microwave. “Do you have pretzels?”
Dad shook his head. “I snacked on them too much.”
“Do you have any kind of savory treat?”
“I think your mom always keeps a stash of kale chips.”
I sent Dad an annoyed look. Emma wouldn’t be impressed at all with my selection. “Tell the maid to grab some unhealthy stuff in the morning, for God’s sake.”
Dad patted my back with a smile. “Good to see you being distracted like that.”
I grabbed the tray and headed back to the bedroom. Maybe it had been Emma’s intention. Though her stomach had definitely requested food. That hadn’t been a ploy to distract me.
When I entered the bedroom, Emma sat up immediately and held out her hands. I put the tray on her lap, and she scanned the food, then gave me a questioning look. I shrugged. “My parents are on a health kick. I did my best.”
She lifted one of the bread slices, revealing the jam and maple syrup disaster. It didn’t look appealing in the slightest.
Maybe I should just order some food. “I can—”
Emma grabbed the sandwich, dripping it all over the tray, and took a huge bite. She shrugged. “It doesn’t taste bad.” She finished the sandwich within a minute. Her chin and upper lip were smeared with jam. I shook my head and grabbed a towel from the bathroom. I’d forgotten napkins. By the time I returned, she was eating the kale chips.
I sank on the edge of the bed and regarded her as she downed half of the milk. Then she gave me a pleased smile. “This wasn’t so bad. I don’t suppose there’s a piece of chocolate somewhere in this house?”
I chuckled and pushed to my feet. “You keep me busy and not the way I had planned.”
Emma gave me a sheepish grin. “Sorry, it’s the hormones. But we can still continue where we left off later if you want?” I looked at Emma’s jam-covered lips and the crumbs of kale attached to it, then bent down and kissed her ear. “You never looked sexier.”
She swatted me away with an indignant look. “So that’s a no?”
“That’s a definite yes.”
I left in search of chocolate. Dad sat on the couch in the living room and looked up from his laptop when I began searching the cabinets for Christmas sweets. “Your mother bought truffles for Emma and Sofia. But they’re already wrapped.”
“Tell Mom I’m sorry, but Emma needs chocolate,” I muttered as I ripped away the gift wrapping around one of the praline boxes. I had to admit taking care of Emma like this made me feel good.
When I finally returned to the bedroom, Emma had put the tray down on the floor and was fast asleep on her side. I put the chocolates beside her on the nightstand in case a nightly craving hit her, then climbed into bed with her and pressed up to her petite body, breathing in the flowery scent of her hair.
I took another, even deeper breath when my body shivered and called for something to drink. It was an almost physical pull, but I held Emma. She was the reason I was doing this, and she was also why I wouldn’t fail.
