Cason
Alone with my father, I wait for him to give me my orders like I have hundreds of times before. I feel empty now that Lily and Lukas are gone, but at least they’re safe.
That makes what I bartered away worth it.
“So much for me thinking you’re my smart kid. You didn’t negotiate that trade well at all.”
“They’re safe. You gave me your word you wouldn’t touch them ever again. That’s all that matters.”
“But you gave in so easily,” Victor says with a chuckle. “I thought it would take more from the way Jaxon was talking. He made it sound like you’re a man of principles now. I guess he was wrong.”
He’s enjoying this. He wanted me back in the fold, back to where he could order me to do his bidding, and now that he’s gotten all he desired, he’s practically giddy.
“What would you know about principles?” I say, unable to stop myself from taking that jab at him.
He takes the bait and snaps back, “Oh, I forgot. You’re like your mother that way. So full of fucking principles. And where did that get her?”
The way he says that, like something random got her instead of taking responsibility for his part in her death, makes keeping all that I’ve held in all these years impossible. Pulling my gun, I point it at him and yell, “Fucking dead! You sent someone to kill her knowing I was sleeping in a room just feet away, you son of a bitch! I was a kid and you murdered the only person who cared about me. Don’t act like she suffered simply because she was a good person. What happened to her was because of you!”
It would take nothing to put a fucking bullet in his brain and be done with him. He deserves it. No one could argue he doesn’t.
Fear fills his eyes, and he turns to look at Ryker. “Is this your influence?”
“Cason, we don’t kill our own. No matter how much you may think he deserves it, don’t. This isn’t who we are.”
I know he believes what he’s saying is right. I’ve been brought up with that code to protect family above all else just like every other Varens.
But as my hand clutches my gun and I imagine how it would feel to finally kill my father, I don’t want to obey some rule. All I want is to avenge my mother’s death.
Ryker levels his gaze on me and shakes his head. “Don’t do this, Cason.”
I keep my aim on my father for a few moments more and then reluctantly lower my gun. “Fine. So you have me back. What do you want me to do?” I ask flatly.
“What you’re meant to do, of course,” Victor answers, smug again now that he doesn’t have a gun pointed at his head.
“What’s the name and where can I find them?” I ask, repeating the same words I’ve used every single time I’ve stood in this very spot all those times before getting my marching orders from my father.
I wait to hear which one of Duke’s men he wants me to hit. Everyone else has had their turn in the two men’s little war, so now it’s mine.
“The name you know almost as well as your own. Michael. He’s gotten to be a problem that can’t be solved, so you get to take care of it for me. You won’t have any difficulty, I imagine. You’ve hated him your entire life. I bet you’ve dreamed of this more than once. A little Cain and Abel job for you, Cason. As for where he is, you can find him out at the country house where you and that little girl stayed last year.”
Ryker looks at his brother in shock, shaking his head as my father’s order sinks into his brain and mine. “What the fuck are you doing, Victor? Michael? You expect Cason to kill Michael? I just told him that’s not who we are and the next fucking thing to come out of your mouth is that you want him to kill Michael?”
My father nods and then gives a shrug, like none of this should surprise anyone. All Ryker can do is shake his head in disbelief.
I stand dumbstruck by what he says. Kill Michael? What could he have done to have fallen so far from favorite son to marked man?
“You want me to kill your son?” I ask, barely able to get the words out of my mouth. “I thought Jaxon said you needed me back because of this thing with Duke.”
“Duke’s being handled. I need you to take care of Michael for me,” he says quietly, almost as if the profanity of what he wants done has finally dawned on him.
“I don’t want to be your killer anymore. You know that. Now you want me to kill my half-brother. I’m not interested in being that man.”
As much as I’m expecting a fight from my father, I don’t expect what he says next. Nodding like he understands, he runs his hand through his hair and explains, “Then don’t be. Do this last job and then go back to work for Ryker here. Or disappear into the countryside with that pretty little girl and her baby, if my brother has no use for you. Become a farmer for all I care.”
Stunned, I stand there in front of him as his words filter through my brain. Just one more job and I can be done with him and everything his world entails? But that job is killing his son, my half-brother?
As insane as it sounds, it’s all too easy. He’s willing to let me go after dragging me here if I’ll do this one more job for him? Something’s not right.
“Tell me why you want Michael dead. I won’t do this if you don’t.”
Victor takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, along with a growl that sounds like it comes from the depths of his soul. I watch as his expression twists into something horrific and beads of sweat begin to form on his forehead.
“He’s been running things on the side and not cutting me in on them. He’s been told about this and still insists on stabbing me in the back. So he has to go.”
“And what about your wife? You don’t think she’s going to be upset when her son is killed?”
A look of utter dismissal momentarily crosses my father’s face. “My wife is routinely upset. This will be piled on top of everything else that bothers her. And what do you care? She’s the reason I did what I did to your mother, so I’d think you’d be happy to see her suffer.”
“I don’t give a fuck about her or him.”
“Or me, for that matter. Isn’t that right, Cason?” he asks, his voice verging on frantic now.
The way he says that, like he’s hurt now that he’s finally realized all his years of hatred toward me have come back at him, makes me chuckle. You created a monster, Doctor Frankenstein, and now you don’t like the consequences?
“I don’t give a fuck about anything anymore. I’m a killer, remember? We aren’t supposed to care.”
His face gets redder by the moment. He reminds me of how he looked that day he sent me out to the country house the last time all those months ago. Whatever madness is in him has only gotten worse since I’ve been away.
“This is crazy,” Ryker says, leaning down on the edge of the desk to be eye-to-eye with his brother. “We don’t kill family. Remember what our father told us? Have you forgotten that’s one of the things you protect and rely on, Victor? No matter what you think you’re doing by punishing Cason this way, you can’t take out Michael.”
Victor shakes his head and wipes his brow. “You’re too much like your nephews, brother. It’s probably that woman who’s affected you and made you soft. Men like you and me, and Cason, for that matter, can kill anyone, including family.”
“Is this some kind of fucking test? Like if he says he’ll do it you’ll be satisfied? This isn’t the kind of business Dmitri Varens would have ever been a part of, and I won’t be either. We don’t kill our own. Period.”
Nothing Ryker says sways him from what he wants me to do. Turning his attention back to me, he continues, “If you were really the killer I had hoped you’d become, I’d truly have to worry about you striking at me. But no, you aren’t that man. You’re just someone who killed, but you’ve never had the heart of a killer like I wanted you to. So take care of this last job and you’ll be free to go back to Ryker’s or to frolic in the countryside with that pretty thing and your kid.”
“But won’t that leave you with no heirs to this kingdom of yours?”
He throws his head back and a maniacal laugh explodes out of him. “You think you and Michael are my only sons? You’re not even my only children, Cason. Don’t worry about what’s going to happen to this family once you’re gone. We’ll be fine.”
I’d never thought about if my father had other children before this moment, and I have to admit I’m a little surprised this is the first I’m hearing about them. How is it they’ve escaped being forced into working for him, or are they just too young yet?
None of that matters, though. All I have is this one last job and I’m out of this life for good. More importantly, Lily and Lukas will be safe. It’s all too easy, but it’s too tempting to say no.
One more job and my life is my own.
“Then I’ll do this and after you’re out of my life for good. No more dragging me back in here. No more sending Jaxon to say I need to come back. I’m out.”
“Right. Out. Enjoy the rest of your life.”
He turns away and runs his thumb over the edge of the bassinette Lukas had been in as he mumbles something. No matter what he’s promised, I’ll never be able to leave Lily or Lukas unprotected again. Over my dead body will I let him do to my son what he did to me.
I leave my father’s office as Ryker returns to his attempt to convince my father that killing one of his sons is wrong. He won’t be able to, though. Some people have no good in them, and the madness I see eating Victor alive makes talking any sense to him a useless cause.
Being related to him doesn’t change the truth of who he is.
Or who I am. But if this will keep Lily and Lukas safe, I’ll do what I have to do.
The country house looks the same as the night I left it to go rescue Lily from Doc. That Michael is staying here just adds a final level of insult to my life as Victor’s unwanted son. The child of the woman who wanted my mother dead living in her house and now I have to kill him.
Everything has come full circle.
Michael’s sports car in the driveway tells me he’s here. If he’s smart, he has a sense of what’s coming. The problem is he’s never had to think of anyone but himself, so I doubt he understands how little our father cares for him now that he’s crossed him.
The front door is open, and I walk in to make my way into the living room where Michael sits. His dark head pokes just above the back of the couch, and I walk around the front of it to face him. I’ve never killed someone by shooting them in the back, and I don’t plan to start now.
In his right hand, he holds a gun aimed directly at me. Fortunately for me, he’s spent most of his time as a Varens being spoiled and lounging around at the island villa, so he’s never become much of a shot. Taking my gun out, I point it at the center of his forehead.
“You should have just shot me from behind when you walked in, Cason. If you were any kind of brother, you would have.”
His hand trembles as he tries to project all that bravado I know is pure bullshit. For the first time in his life, he’s finally understanding what it means to be Victor’s son.
“I’m not a coward. I don’t shoot in the back.”
“Maybe I’ll shoot you and then Dad can go crazy when I disappear. Maybe I’ll do that,” he says, attempting to use that smartass tone he’s always used when he talked to me, but it doesn’t work now.
“How does it feel to not be the golden child for once, Michael?”
“Fuck you, Cason! You have no idea about my life, so don’t hang yourself on the fucking cross like you’ve had such a hard life. Just fuck off and do what you came here to do if that’s what you had planned for this little event of ours.”
A cocky prick until the very end.
I stand there in front of him watching his hand shake around his gun and try to think of a single time he and I were ever nice to one another. Nothing comes to me. From the minute he came into this world, he’s been nothing but a reminder that my mother and I were disposable, easily replaced by younger versions of us.
“You can’t do it, can you?” he asks, his words tinged with a hope he shouldn’t have. “You don’t have to, you know. He’s not the all-powerful being he thinks he is, Cason. We’re men now. We don’t have to be his puppets anymore.”
As he talks, I watch him shrink in size right in front of me, but I can’t let that change what I know I have to do. The memory of what Jaxon told me about how Michael wanted Tia to suffer merely for having the nerve to break up with him flashes through my mind. He’s always been a petty fuck like that. Spoiled and thoughtless. That’s Michael to a T.
“I’m not interested in whatever coup you’re cooking up for Victor,” I say quietly. “He and I have made a deal. I do you, and then the people I care about are safe.”
Michael shakes his head faster and faster, like he can’t believe this is how it ends for him. “We can take over, Cason. You know Ryker hates the way our father runs things. Victor is the past. We’re the future—you, me, and Ryker. It’s time for a changing of the guard. Time for youth to take over and make this family what it could be instead of what Victor wants it to be.”
What’s unbelievable is he actually believes what he’s saying.
“We aren’t anything. We’ve never been anything, Michael. You were my replacement, and from what our father said to me, now you’ll be replaced by someone else. But my time living the life he made for me is over. As for you, be thankful he ordered me to do it. At least I’m not a savage fuck who wants to see you suffer.”
I aim the gun at his head as he spirals out of control. Jumping up from the couch, he holds his hands up in surrender even as he turns to insulting me.
“You’ve always wanted to kill me. Admit it! Stop acting like you’re doing this for some high and lofty reason, Cason, because you’re not and you know it! This isn’t for some girl or some kid who may or may not be yours. At least be honest and admit you’ve always wished I never existed.”
Fear fills his dark eyes until I’m sure he’s going to make some last ditch effort to stop me, like lunging for the gun or tackling me to the ground. But he doesn’t. He just stands there with his hands up in front of him, as if that’s going to stop me from doing what I have to.
“You were never my brother, Michael. You were always just one of the reasons my mother had to die so you could be more comfortable. Now you sit in her house—her house, you fuck!—and try to make me think I should save you? Why? Your very existence made mine a fucking nightmare. I became some fucking thing our father toyed with, nothing but an experiment he tinkered with in his attempt to create a killing machine he could use whenever he wanted. You shouldn’t be surprised he ordered a hit on you. It was only a matter of time because you’re just like him. Selfish. You took more than you deserved and now you get to suffer the consequences. He will someday too. Don’t worry about that.”
“So that’s your plan? Take over the family after the two of us are gone? Do you plan to go after him next?” Michael asks in a shaky voice.
“See, that’s why no matter what I say to you, you’ll never get it. This isn’t about getting to the top of the shitheap that is our family. What I’m doing here is about protecting people who shouldn’t be hurt because of me. That’s not something you will ever understand, but that’s what this is about.”
“You’re just like fucking Jaxon. The two of you are suckers. A pretty piece of ass gives you a taste, and you put those bitches over your own family. You don’t even know if that kid is yours, and you’re willing to kill your blood for her?”
Inside me, something explodes and as he continues to talk shit about Lily and my son, I can’t hear anything anymore, except the sound of my heartbeat pounding in my eardrums. I press my finger on the trigger, and a second later, Michael falls to the floor, finally silent.
But it’s not over. I knew as soon as Victor ordered me to kill his favorite son it wouldn’t end like that.
From behind me, I hear heavy footsteps and turn around to see Scotch. Sloppy fuck, he’s practically winded from walking up the front steps.
“Sorry, Cason. You know how it is,” he says in that husky voice of his that comes from being fat and smoking too many fucking cigarettes.
I do know how it is.
When he lifts his arm to aim his gun at me, my younger and healthier body moves faster. Like the killer I am, I don’t think twice about how Scotch is about to get what he’s got coming to him. Not that he ever had a choice. He must know I’m better at this than he is, but he couldn’t say no to Victor. That’s what life under my father is like.
You get to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea. Not really much of a choice at all, is it?
Before he can get off a single shot, the bullet explodes out of my gun, and a few seconds later, he crumples to the floor, his out-of-shape body just a heap of dead flesh. Another casualty of working for Victor Varens.
I look around at my mother’s house and wonder for a moment if what I’ve just done has finally avenged my mother’s death. Shaking my head, I know the answer is no. Michael didn’t order the hit on her. Victor did. That he’s still alive means the one responsible for her death hasn’t paid for his crime yet.
But someday he will.
And Scotch just ended up where he probably always was destined to. Just a little earlier than he imagined, I guess.
When I walk outside, I see Jaxon waiting for me. A sudden rush of confusion courses through me, and for a moment, I wonder if he’s been sent here to take care of me now, too.
“Strange meeting you here,” I say, forcing a smile for my cousin.
With a shrug, he chuckles. “I thought maybe I would get here in time to see it all myself. Guess I drove too slow.”
“So now you’re in the habit of watching hits? Seems like an odd hobby, but what do I know?” I say as I stop in front of him.
“I wasn’t sure you’d do it, to be honest. Not that he didn’t have it coming to him for years, but I didn’t know if you could after the past few months.”
His comment seems to reflect more about Ryker than me, and I laugh at the idea that somehow working for him has changed me. “Our uncle may not be like my father, but he’s still a Varens. Ryker just goes about doing things differently.”
Jaxon nods his agreement. “True. I just didn’t know after all that different that you’d be able to step back into your job to take care of Michael.”
“He got what he had coming to him. Whether it was you or me or any number of guys who did the job, his end was set in stone a long time ago. His time just came up.”
“And that stupid fuck Scotch too. I sort of liked him,” Jaxon says with a shrug.
My cousin doesn’t respond to my attempt to be philosophical about my half-brother’s end, so I take the opportunity to ask him about someone I do care about. “How was Lily? Is she okay? What about the baby?”
Lifting his hand to stop my line of questioning, Jaxon smiles. “She’s fine. I watched over her until I left to come here, and Ryker is over there right now making sure she’s okay. The little guy is fine too. I imagine he’s dreaming of whatever babies dream of right now.”
Relief washes over me. “Good. I’m glad you two kept watch over her. It’s the least you can do since you kept me in the fucking dark about my own son, you asshole.”
He hangs his head and gives me a tiny smile. “Yeah, sorry about that. In my defense, I thought I was doing the right thing.”
As much as I could be pissed at Jaxon, there’s no point in living in the past. What’s done is done. I can only look at the future.
“I don’t believe for a minute that my father is going to keep his word. This isn’t over.”
Jaxon shakes his head sadly. “No, I don’t think it is. He’s got some crazy obsession with you, and until something breaks with that, I think she and that baby are in danger.”
I wish that wasn’t true, but it is. Victor Varens isn’t going to let me or the people I care about live in peace. My doing what he wanted hasn’t changed his need to punish me. Why I have no idea.
“Be careful, Jaxon. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ordered you to take me out now. He has no respect for family.”
Patting me on the shoulder, he smiles. “No way. First, I have the get-out-of-jail-free card with Victor. A dead father gives you that with him. But second, if he comes at you, it will be him doing it himself now, so watch yourself, Cason.”
I spent enough years around my father to know at least part of what Jaxon says is right. That his father died helps him. That my father will strike at me on his own is something only time will tell.
But I can’t live the rest of my life, no matter how long I have, in fear of him. I lived too long as that man already.
