sleeping form, unable to calm myself down even though she was lying there, right in front of me.
If I’d been any later…
I shook my head, trying not to think about it, but the image of what I’d barged into was seared into my brain. I feared it would be there forever. That I would never be able to forget it.
After Arturo told me what happened, I almost killed him. The only reason he was still breathing was because Aleksandr had latched onto my arm at the last second, stopping the blade in my hands from piercing Arturo’s chest. It had taken my two brothers and Adrian to pull me off him. I didn’t have the time to waste trying to kill him again, but I planned to challenge him to the ring. I didn’t need a weapon to kill. I could do it with my bare hands. And I would. Illayana would just have to deal with it.
Arturo was aware of the dangers of his little trap. He should have taken the proper precautions and paired Tatiana up with someone who would watch her back. He should have had someone outside, ready to catch any stragglers who ran from the house so Tatiana wouldn’t have to. So she didn’t go running after Franco. He shouldn’t have gone forward with his plan without me there. No one could protect Tatiana better than I could. He should have given me the fucking time to get there before moving forward.
End. Of. Discussion.
When we discovered that her phone had been dumped and the tracker in the back of her neck had been destroyed, everyone thought the worst. That we would never find her in time.
But I never took chances when it came to Tatiana’s life. She had another tracker on her. One she had no idea about. One I’d put into her necklace over three years ago. A necklace she never took off.
We tracked the signal to a double-story house in the suburbs. Aleksandr, Drea, Ivan, Illayana and Arturo, along with a mixture of Cosa Nostra and Bratva soldiers infiltrated the premises and dealt with any resistance while Lukyan and I hunted for Tatiana. The tracker in her necklace was state of the art, and could pinpoint her location precisely, right down to what room she was in, so it made it easy for us to find her.
The image of her tied to that table, that man pressing himself against her, flashed through my mind again and I ground my teeth together, trying to reign in my temper. I thought I had been mad before. I thought I knew what real anger was. But it wasn’t until that moment, right there, that I truly felt that emotion. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. A dark, red haze had settled over me and I wanted nothing more than to fucking eviscerate him. To cut off all his limbs one by one until he was begging for me to kill him. But I wouldn’t. I’d do everything in my power to keep him alive for as long as possible so he could suffer for days. Months. Years. So I could torture him every single day for daring to touch my Tatiana.
Tatiana groaned in her sleep, rolling over onto her side and facing me. I leant forward in my chair and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, just watching her. The fire from the fireplace cast her in this beautiful orange/yellow light, her beauty absolutely bewitching me. The flames crackled, the sound oddly comforting.
After we’d gotten her out of there, I’d taken her straight home. To my house. Ivan tried to fight me on it, but he must have realised how close I was to snapping, because he let the matter slide. Tatiana had a shower and fell straight asleep in my bed, despite me trying to get her to eat something.
That was roughly seven hours ago, and I hadn’t moved from my spot next to the bed since. I refused to. It wasn’t just that I wanted to be there for her when she woke up…I found that I was incapable of leaving her side.
My phone beeped. I reached into my pocket and pulled it out. It was a text message from Andrea, confirming the flight details for tomorrow. Unease flickered through me. Up until Tatiana’s kidnapping, I had been more than prepared for the mission. I’d gone over the plan a thousand times with my siblings. Packed my bags. Mentally and physically prepared myself.
But now…
Now things were different.
I couldn’t possibly leave. Just the idea of not being in the same room as Tatiana sent me into full-blown panic mode. How could I possibly complete the mission if my mind was there? If I was constantly worried about Tatiana? I couldn’t.
“Why do you look so grumpy?”
My gaze rose and collided with that set of beautiful hazel eyes that sent my heart racing. All I could do was stare, so incredibly thankful she was there, alive and well.
Tatiana moved to sit up and I jumped up to help her. “Cut that out,” she chastised, slapping my hands away. “I’m not an invalid. I can sit up on a bed on my own.”
“Have pity on me and let me help you. Please.”
Her face softened. “I could use some water?”
I nodded. I got to my feet and went to the pitcher of water on my dressing table, pouring a glass. I returned and offered it to her. She took it, drinking the whole thing in one go.
“Thank you,” she said, placing the glass down on the bedside table. “Alright, out with it.”
I frowned. “Out with what?”
“You’re mad at me, aren’t you? That’s why you look so grumpy. You’re mad I joined in on the trap set for Franco—”
“No, Tatiana. I’m not.”
It was her turn to frown. “You’re…not?”
I shook my head. “I know exactly what kind of person you are. You don’t like to leave things unfinished. Of course I knew you’d want to see this thing through. I’m mad that Arturo didn’t give me the time to be there. I’m also mad you didn’t tell me what was going on. I didn’t even know the trap was taking place until Arturo showed up here, telling me you’d been taken.”
She winced, avoiding my eyes. “Yeah, I didn’t think you’d like that one. But I was trying to save you from any unnecessary worry.”
I gave her a deadpanned look. “And how did that work out for you?”
She bit her lip. “Alright, you win. I apologise. I should have told you. Had the situation been reversed, I would have wanted you to tell me.”
“You don’t need to apologise to me, Tati.” I sat on the bed and placed my hand over hers. She flinched slightly, so slightly I doubt I would have noticed it if I wasn’t staring right at her. Guilt gripped my heart and I went to take my hand back, but she quickly latched onto it, refusing to let go. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she answered immediately, giving me that classic Tatiana smile. It didn’t seem forced or fake. And I would know. “Really, I am. You got there just in time before anything could happen—”
“Tatiana,” I said softly but firmly. I held her hand with both of mine, trying to support her, to comfort her. “You don’t need to do that with me. Don’t downplay it and make out like nothing happened. Something did happen. He assaulted you, regardless of whether or not he raped you. He touched you when he shouldn’t have, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t get there sooner to stop it.”
She looked down at our hands. “His touch, it was…repulsive,” she shivered. “I wish I could kill him again. I wish we’d had more time to really make him suffer.”
“Me too.” I raised her hand to my lips, kissing her skin softly. “But at least we know he did suffer.”
“How did you find me, by the way? Franco said he destroyed the tracker in the back of my neck.”
My gaze darted to the necklace around her neck and back up.
She gasped. “You didn’t,” she said, touching the little golden heart.
“I did. And I’m not sorry.”
“Well, neither am I now,” she scoffed. “First my phone, now my necklace…how many others are there?”
I smirked, mischief dancing in my eyes. “I don’t think you want to know the answer to that question.”
She laughed softly. It felt so good to hear her laugh. “You’re right. I probably don’t.” She leant back against the headboard and exhaled heavily. Her head rolled on her shoulders, her eyes locking on my suitcases in the corner. She was silent for a moment. “When do you leave?”
“I’m not.” I got to my feet, desperate to change the subject before she could ask any other questions. “Are you hungry? I’ll send for some food.” I turned and took a step towards the door.
“Stoooop,” she sang, her voice ringing out with authority. I froze on the spot. “Turn.” I groaned in frustration and spun on the balls of my feet to face her. “Talk,” she demanded.
I sighed. “Tatiana—”
“Do you want me to cry? Because I’ll cry right here, right now if you don’t sit the fuck back down. I will.”
Humor trickled through me when she pouted, jutting out her lower lip.
I sat back down, exhaling a tired breath. Where was I even going to start? How could I possibly tell her I didn’t want to go because I couldn’t leave her? Not now. Not after what I walked into. How—
“You’re hesitant to leave because of what happened, aren’t you?”
I should have known she’d be able to see right through me. “Yes.”
“Nikolai.” Her voice held a wealth of compassion. Next thing I knew, she was in my lap, straddling me. Her hands dove into my hair and she forced me to look her right in the eyes. “I say this with all the love in the world, but you’re a fucking idiot.”
I tried not to move. I really, really did. She’d just gone through something incredibly traumatic. The last thing she needed was me feeling her up. But she was sitting right on my cock, and that thing always had a mind of its own—especially when it came to Tatiana. It would stand to attention the moment she walked into the damn room.
“You have to go. Your father’s life depends on it. You can’t stay here for me.”
“But—”
She placed a finger over my lips, stopping me from saying another word. “Did it sound like I was finished?”
I shook my head.
“That’s right. I’ll let you know when it’s your turn to talk. Right now, you’re going to shut the fuck up and listen to me.” She adjusted herself, inadvertently grinding her pussy down on my cock, and I choked. She smirked playfully. “I appreciate more than I can ever put into words that you want to stay here for me. Truly. But you need to go, Nikolai. If you’re worried something will happen to me, don’t. I promise I won’t put myself into any dangerous situations. I promise I’ll sit in my apartment and do nothing but wait for you. I love you, Nikolai, and if knowing I’m safe will help you do what you need to do, then I promise that I won’t get so much as a damn papercut.”
I stiffened, my body going completely still. I moved her hand away from my lips. “You love me?”
She smiled and it lit up the whole room. “I’ve always loved you. There was never any doubt about that. My problem lay in whether or not I could trust you again. You hurt me, Nikolai. So much I didn’t think my heart and soul would ever heal from it. But in these last few months, you’ve shown me not only with your words, but also your actions that you’ll always be there for me. Come hell or high water. You’ve proven time and time again that you love me. That you’d do anything for me. I know in my heart that you’d never hurt me again, like you did before.”
I gripped the sides of her face with both hands, overwhelmed with her words. “Can I kiss you?”
She answered me by leaning forward and placing her mouth on mine in the most heart stopping kiss I’d ever experienced. My entire world righted itself as I kissed her back, this sense of complete euphoria washing through me. It felt right. Complete. Like everything had fallen into place. Like I was whole again.
The kiss deepened, moving from this sweet, perfect moment to absolute fire. Her hips swivelled, pleasure shooting up my spine and making me groan. I latched onto her hips, halting her movements. “Tati, we don’t have to—”
“Why?” She ground down harder, a whimper falling from her lips. “I want you.”
“But you just—”
“I just nothing.” She kissed across my jaw and down my neck, my skin buzzing. “I don’t want you to go without erasing his touch. Please, Nikolai.” She sucked on my neck, hands gliding down my body to grab a handful of my cock, and I came undone.
My lips slammed against hers and I jumped to my feet, wrapping her legs around my waist. I took her down to the bed, kissing her harder, faster. Eager to have her naked body below me.
She clutched onto me like she never wanted to let me go, completely wrapping herself around me like a spider monkey. Her touch did things to me. It turned me into a damn fumbling mess. I struggled with the buttons of her shirt and frustration got the better of me. I ripped it off.
Tatiana gasped, her breasts spilling out. I stared down at them in awe, completely mesmerised. I cupped them both and squeezed, enjoying the way she arched her back, pushing them further into my palms.
“Yes, Nikolai. Yes.”
I leant forward and latched onto her tight nipple, sucking it into my mouth. I rolled my tongue over it and she moaned. She made the sweetest fucking sounds. It made me so fucking hot.
Not wanting the other one to feel left out, I kissed across her chest, my tongue licking at her skin, and sealed my lips around her other nipple. My hands drifted down and I pulled her shorts off without taking my mouth away from her. She squirmed beneath me, holding my head to her breast and begging me to suck harder.
I let her nipple go with a pop. “You have no idea what you do to me, Tati,” I groaned, kissing and nibbling my way down her body.
She propped herself up on her elbows and spread her legs wide, allowing me to settle myself between them. Her face was flushed, eyes burning with heat and chest heaving, her breasts moving up and down, up and down.
She was so goddamn gorgeous. Like a beautiful, golden-haired goddess.
I smirked and ran my tongue from her entrance all the way up to her clit in one long, languid stroke. She moaned. “You’re going to watch me, aren’t you?” I licked her again. Slowly, leisurely, basking in her taste. “Watch me lick this beautiful pussy until you come all over my face?”
Her head rolled back on her shoulders. “God, yes,” she panted. “You know I love to watch you go down on me.”
“I know.” She would watch me any chance she got. “Watch and enjoy, love. I know I will.” My hands slapped to her thighs and I shoved them further apart as I buried my face in between her legs. She cried out in pleasure and I soaked it in, revelling in it, the sound making my cock twitch.
“The best goddamn thing I’ve ever tasted,” I moaned against her. She was so soft, so sweet.
I shoved my hand down into my pants and gripped my cock, unable to hold off any longer. I stroked myself with the same rhythm as my tongue, my pleasure building and building. Everything about her sent me spiralling towards release and I had to work hard not to spill in my pants. I kissed her pussy like I was kissing her mouth, moving my lips and tongue against her softly. Slowly, sensually. Exactly the way she liked it. I barely came up for air, much preferring her feel and taste than breathing. Who wanted to waste the time on trivial things like breathing when you had the most intoxicating taste right before you?
Not me. That was for damn sure. I wanted her to fucking smother me with it. And I was going to get what I fucking wanted.
Tatiana shrieked in surprise when I grasped her hips tightly and spun us so she was sitting on my face. I didn’t have to tell my girl to ride my face. She knew, because she was goddamn fucking perfect. She moved back and forth on me, her hands cupping her breasts and head thrown back in pleasure.
She was such a fucking sight.
I groaned as she drove down harder on me, her pleasure giving me pleasure. My cock was so hard, it fucking hurt. I grabbed a handful of her ass in both hands and squeezed, urging her on.
“Damn it, Nikolai. I’m going to come already,” she whimpered, her hips moving faster and faster. Her little clit pulsed against my tongue and I knew she was telling the truth.
“Not yet,” I begged, pleaded. “I’m not done.” Truthfully, I would never be done. Her taste was downright euphoric. I wanted to bottle it up and make it into a fucking drink, so I could taste her whenever I wanted to.
“Too bad, I can’t hold back—oh, fuck.” Her whole body shook and then she was coming, a rush of wetness flooding into my mouth.
I’d died and gone to heaven. I drank it all down, sucking hard, searching for more. Desperate for more. Tatiana slumped forward, breathing heavily. Her breasts dangled above me and I gripped one roughly, pulling her down so I could suck it into my mouth. My hands were all over her. My mouth was all over her. I would never get enough. Never.
Tatiana moved back, pulling her breast from my mouth. I whined and tried to get it back, but she shoved me back down with a hand to the chest.
“You still got those handcuffs?” she panted, rubbing her pussy up and down my shaft, the friction unbearable.
“Side draw,” I choked out.
She leant over and pulled out two pairs of cuffs and a condom from my bedside table, a smirk dancing on her lips.
“Are those for you or me?” I asked, anticipation curling down my spine. We’d used cuffs before. Sometimes it would be me cuffed up, sometimes it would be her.
She twirled one of them around her finger, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “You.”
I offered up my wrists eagerly. She slapped one around my left wrist and then cuffed it to my bedhead. Her breasts dangled right in my face and I nipped at her skin. She did the same thing with my other wrist until I was completely at her mercy.
She sat back, admiring her work before she slinked down, pulling my pants from my body as she went.
Fuck, this was going to be absolute torture. I was sure of it.
Tatiana leant forward and kissed me softly, running her tongue over my bottom lip before she slowly started moving down, trailing her tongue down my chin, down my throat, across my chest and through my abs in one long, tortuous lick.
I groaned in both pleasure and pain, straining against the cuffs, trying to get closer to her. “Tatiana,” I whined.
“What’s the matter, Nicky?” She gripped the base of my cock and I choked, the cuffs rattling and groaning against the wood. “We both know you like being tortured like this.”
She was right. I did. It was like a wonderful form of torture that turned me on so much, I could barely keep still.
I watched, completely riveted as she leant down, her golden hair spreading out over my thighs as she sucked one of my balls into her mouth.
“Fuckkkk.”
She ran her tongue up my shaft and then took me into her mouth, the head of my cock sliding down her throat. She swallowed, her throat constricting around me and I groaned deeply. The cuffs dug into my skin, blurring that delicate line between pleasure and pain. I was sure I’d have red marks around my wrists by the time this was over, and I didn’t care.
Her hands slammed down on my chest, nails digging into my skin. I hissed. She clawed down my stomach as she moved faster and faster, literally gulping me down. My back arched, the pleasure gloriously excruciating. If she didn’t stop soon, I was going to blow in her mouth.
I tried thinking of something else—anything else—to distract myself. But watching her swallow my cock with earnest was almost too fucking much.
“Tati-you’ve got to stop. I’m going to come,” I panted, the feeling of my balls drawing up telling me of my impending orgasm.
I released a shuddering breath when my cock fell from her mouth.
“You’re not coming until you’re inside of me.” She shoved the condom between my teeth. “Rip it open.”
God, I loved it when she told me what to do. I’d long discovered I was a switch in bed. So was Tatiana. It was actually a kink we’d discovered together. She was the one taking control now, and I was all fucking for it.
I gripped the condom with my teeth and tore it open.
She smiled, taking it out of the packet. She tapped my cheek twice. “Such a good boy you are, Nikolai.”
She rolled it down my cock and then impaled herself onto me deeply, her head falling back on a moan.
Pleasure encompassed me. It swallowed me whole. There was nothing better than the feel of her tight little pussy wrapped around me. My hands clenched and unclenched, this overwhelming need to touch her, feel her, making me yank roughly on the cuffs.
The bed rocked as Tatiana moved, the sexy swirl of her hips setting my whole body on fire. Her pussy squeezed me, pleasure bursting through my soul.
“You’re fucking beautiful. Absolutely beautiful,” I whispered in reverence, totally bewitched by her and her movements.
She gave me this mischievous, sexy smile, clutching her breasts with both hands as she continued to ride me. Her eyes roved over me, from my chest, to my face, to my hands cuffed to the bed. Heat flared in her eyes and she moved faster. She liked seeing me like this.
We moaned together, me thrusting up and her bearing down. I begged her to undo the cuffs so I could touch her. It was agonising seeing her tits bounce right in front of me and not be able to put them in my mouth.
“I’ll let you go, if you say your safe word.” She rocked back and forth, swivelling her hips. My back arched. “Are you going to say it, Nicky?”
My safe word was Nicky, and she knew I’d never fucking say it. I growled and yanked on the cuffs as Tatiana bounced and bounced, white-hot pleasure burning through my veins.
The wood groaned and Tatiana’s eyes widened, her breath hitching. She moved faster, panting, moaning, her pussy squeezing the fucking life out of me.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I grunted. I yanked on the cuffs hard and the wood snapped, freeing one of my arms. My hand shot out and grabbed her by the hair roughly, pulling her down to smash her mouth onto mine. My left arm was still cuffed to the bed, completely stretched out as I strained forward, trying to be as close to Tatiana as possible. “Fucking come for me,” I whispered over her lips.
I thrust up at the same time she slammed down and she cried out, her pussy clamping and spasming around me.
I came. Hard. Mind-numbing pleasure swept through me and I groaned deep in my throat, kissing her harder, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. My whole body shuddered, my hips pistoning upwards over and over again as I emptied myself inside her.
Tatiana slumped against me, breathing heavily. She curled herself around me and I tried my best to hug her back with one arm, my heart still pounding in my chest. My left wrist burned. I could feel blood trailing down my forearm, but I didn’t care.
This wasn’t the first time she’d made me bleed during sex, and I really hoped it wouldn’t be the last.
Tatiana stayed lying across me, her breasts pressed right up against my chest, and I lost track of time, just enjoying being close to her. Being with her.
“Promise me you’ll come back, Nikolai.”
I looked down, staring at the top of her head. She was hiding herself in the crook of my neck, her whole body shaking like she was crying. I used my free hand, handcuffs still dangling from my wrist, to pull her face up. Those beautiful hazel eyes were tinged red, glassy with tears. I stroked my thumb across her cheek, my heart so filled with love, I thought it might explode.
“I promise.”
