“Open the elevator, Creed.”
How my voice is steady and strong, I’ll never know. Not when my body shakes like a newborn colt, freshly brought into this world, and the first thing it sees is a predator.
‘Ndrangheta.
Even if someone doesn’t know what that term meant, ‘Don’ is pretty damn universal.
Oh my god, I’ve been such an idiot. I’ve been cozying up with someone involved in the criminal underworld. And not just anyone. The person calling is Creed’s father.
Creed is the son of a Don.
He’s mafia.
Part of the world that my own father is embroiled in, and that my mom, grandparents, and Antonio worked so hard for me not to have any contact with.
And here I am, sleeping with a goddamn made man, through no one’s fault but my own. I sat in his office with him every night, doing homework while he worked, probably coordinating the white powder that my father kills and does horrible things for. Maybe even casually texting an order to have someone killed.
I had gone to school in the day, happily coming back here, almost skipping like Polly-fucking-Anna, to sleep with the man who kissed me in the morning before he went out to do criminal things.
Oh god, I think I’m going to be sick.
The wealth.
The privileged upbringing.
The way the bouncer at the pub that first night had backed off on IDing me when he realized Creed was with me. Creed is known in this city. The bouncer hadn’t seemed afraid of him, but maybe he’s one of Creed’s men.
I’m such an idiot. I could’ve asked anyone from around here if the last name Santoro meant anything.
I’m new to the city, to the States, so I had no idea. I want to bang my head against the wall.
“Open the elevator, Creed,” I demand again as he stares at me like he’s trying to see inside my head—into my soul—and reach me.
“Let’s talk, angel.”
“Don’t call me that!” I shout, tears filling my eyes, and I blink them back, refusing to cry.
“It’s not how you think—”
“Oh really? It’s the mafia,” I spit. “Your dad is the goddamn Don, Creed. How is this not how I think?”
“That’s true. But I have nothing to do with that side of the… family business.”
I laugh. It sounds slightly hysterical and unhinged. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
The tears press forth again, and I swipe at them.
“Yes. I promise you I was going to tell you soon, Sophie.”
“Bullshit,” I scoff. “Lies.”
“I have never, nor will I ever, lie to you, angel.” He takes a step toward me but stops when I jump back.
“No, you just keep important, significant key details from me instead.”
“I wanted to give us time.”
“Time for what? To make me fall in love with you, then drop the bomb?” The tears I’ve been holding back slip down my cheeks. Their presence looks like they gut him.
“Angel, please,” he rasps. “Let me explain.”
God, this hurt so much. I had felt from the first moment that he and I were too good to be true, and this is the axe I’ve been expecting to fall. However, I never fathomed it would be this.
“Nothing you say will change the reality of this.” But God, how I wish I was wrong. “And congratulations, you did exactly what you planned and aimed for by withholding this from me. I fell in love with you, Creed Santoro. But what you’ve kept from me destroyed any future that love could ever have.”
“No.” He moves toward me without stopping, even when I put my hands out to stop him. “Don’t say that, angel. We can work through this. Just please, listen to me.”
He cups my shoulders and looks at me so intensely that I feel I might burst with the angst rushing through me. “I run Santoro Ventures Inc. No parts of that are illegal. Nothing I do is illegal. It’s all above-board, tax-paying, you name it.”
“Maybe so, but the foundation is built on blood money. This,” I sweep my arm out to indicate the penthouse, “is paid for by blood money.”
“Everything I built in my business comes from legitimate sources, Sophie. Even the start-up funds. The capital I used for my first business venture was money I had earned working when I was young and that I had invested. From an early age, I knew I didn’t want anything to do with that side of the family’s empire, and my father respected that.”
I swallow thickly against the lump in my throat, and he wipes away my tears with his thumbs.
“None of my actions or business dealings, or any of the businesses under Santoro Ventures Inc., are touched by the criminal world. There’s no infusion of money, money laundering, or other activities like that.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Even if what he says is the truth, it doesn’t matter, it can’t. Because his family is his family, and my family is my family.
“How can it not matter, Sophie? Please, angel, just listen… Don’t do this.” He cups my face, pain etched on every surface of his. “Please don’t do this. Don’t put this wall between us.”
“I have to.” My voice breaks. “I never told you who my father was, Creed. He’s never had any role in my life.” I swallow hard, forcing myself to keep looking up at him. “He’s a sicario for the Garcia Cartel. Do you know why he never had any role in my life?”
Shocked silence echoes in the entry foyer of the penthouse.
“Your mamá…your abuela and abuelo…” He closes his eyes as he understands. When he opens them, it’s like looking at the most beautiful crystal blue shattered glass. “They didn’t want you to have any contact with someone in the life.”
“I can’t choose you over them,” I choke, my heart shattering as much as his. “And if I stay with you, I will be.”
“No,” he refuses my claim. “You deserve to live your life for you, Sophie. You deserve to make choices that make you happy.”
His words echo what I’ve been telling Zac for months.
And just like Zac, I see no way out. There is no other path than the one I’ve always known and chosen to follow.
“I want you to be happy, Creed.” I step away from him, a sob catching in my throat. “But that happiness can’t be with me. You need to let me go.”
“No. Angel. Please.”
My heart is ripping in two and feels like it’s being wrenched from my chest. His, too. All I want to do is throw myself into his arms to stop our pain. I want to stay in this penthouse, forever hiding from reality and the world.
“You need to let me go, Creed.”
And the thing that breaks me the most is the look in his eyes and on his face that tells me that, because he loves me, he will.
