Igrip the steering wheel, trying to center myself. The metallic scent of Marshall’s blood clings to my clothes. Marshall’s last gurgle echoes in my mind. I’ve dreamed of confronting one of the men who helped destroy my family. But not like this. Not with Lucy watching.
‘Fuck.’ I slam my palm against the wheel. I’ve blown everything. My cover. The mission. Lucy’s trust.
Lucy sits rigid beside me, pressed against the passenger door. Her fear slices through my anger. I’ve become the monster I was trying to protect her from. The irony isn’t lost on me.
‘Lucy…’ I start, but what can I possibly say? Sorry I lied about who I am? Sorry you had to watch me kill a man?
I chance another glance at Lucy. Her blue eyes, usually sparkling with curiosity and determination, now hold only fear and betrayal.
‘I won’t hurt you,’ I say, although I wouldn’t blame her for doubting me. How can she believe that after what she just witnessed? After I dragged her into my car against her will?
‘Right.’ Her voice trembles. ‘Just like you wouldn’t lie about being a cop?’
The guilt churns in my stomach. I grip the wheel tighter, taking a sharp turn down a side street. We need to get off the main roads before Marshall’s body is found. Before the Keans realize who I am and come looking.
“I didn’t lie about being a cop.”
She purses her lips at me.
“You assumed—”
“You let me believe that.”
I shrug. “Everything I did was to protect you. If I’d told you who I really was—”
‘I’d what? Run screaming? Report you to the police?’ She lets out a bitter laugh. ‘The police who are apparently in the Keans’ pocket? The one you just…’ She can’t finish the sentence.
My jaw clenches. She doesn’t understand, can’t understand what it’s like to have your whole family ripped away by betrayal. To spend a decade planning revenge. But now she’s caught in the crossfire, and it’s my fault. I dragged her into this mess because I couldn’t stay away from her.
‘The Keans will come after you now,’ I say quietly. ‘You were seen with Marshall right before he died. They’ll assume you know something.’
She wraps her arms around herself, shrinking further against the door. The distance between us feels like miles, though we’re inches apart. The urge to reach for her, to comfort her, is overwhelming. But I’ve lost that right.
I pull out my phone while keeping one eye on the road, dialing Phoenix. My stomach twists as it rings. My oldest brother’s always been the level-headed one, the strategist. And I’ve just blown a decade of careful planning sky-high.
‘What?’ Phoenix’s voice cuts sharp through the speaker.
‘I need a safehouse.”
“What happened?”
I don’t say anything for a moment, wondering if I should lead with I was protecting Lucy. Instead, I say, “I killed Marshall.”
Silence stretches across the line. ‘Jesus Christ, Flint. You had one job. Infiltrate. Observe. Learn how to get to these guys and—”
‘He recognized me.’ I glance at Lucy, who flinches at the movement. It guts me. “He was threatening to kill Lucy. She was there when it happened.’
Phoenix’s voice drops dangerously low. ‘The journalist?’
‘I didn’t have a choice.’ The more I replay it, the more I know it’s true. Had Marshall not recognized me, I could have rescued Lucy and we’d have gone our own way. But his threatening her life and recognizing me changed everything. “Like I said, he recognized me. He’d have told Hampton and Ronan.”
‘You always have a choice. Now you’ve compromised everything.’ Phoenix’s frustration reverberates through the phone. ‘Ten years of work blown because you couldn’t keep it in your pants.’
My grip tightens on the phone. ‘Just give me the address.’
There’s another long pause and then he rattles off an address. The call ends abruptly, leaving me alone with my failure and a terrified woman who hates me. Some protector I turned out to be.
Lucy fumbles for her phone, her hands shaking. ‘I’m calling the police.’
Fucking hell? It takes all my strength to resist the urge to grab her phone and toss it out the window. But I don’t want to scare her more than she already is. Then again, if she’s feeling brave enough to call the cops, she can’t be that afraid of me.
‘And tell them what? That you were questioning a corrupt cop about his ties to organized crime before he was killed? When you tell them Flint Ifrinn committed the murder, will you include how you’d been sleeping with him?” Fuck, I’m being an ass again. “He threatened you, Lucy. I was protecting you.”
“You didn’t kill the other men who threatened me. No, you murdered him for your own sick reasons.”
“Sick?” I nearly choke on the word. “Marshall worked for us. Then he sold us out. You heard him. He admitted to being a part of my parents’ murder.”
‘So you killed him.’ Her voice cracks.
‘He deserved worse.” I shake my head. “You can’t call the police, Lucy. The moment you do, you’re dead.’
She gasps, and only then do I realize she thinks I’m threatening her. “Marshall isn’t the only one on the force in Kean’s pocket. They’ll find you, and they’ll make you disappear. You’ve researched enough to know they can make it happen and get away with it.”
‘Like the Ifrinn brothers disappeared?’ Her eyes narrow. ‘Except you didn’t disappear, did you? You’ve been planning this.’
‘For ten years.’ I meet her gaze briefly before turning back to the road. “They took everything from us. Now they pay.”
We arrive at the safehouse, a tired looking bungalow in a blue-collar neighborhood outside the city.
I pull into the driveway and park, turning to her. ‘I’m sorry.’ I force my voice to be softer, gentler. ‘I don’t mean to scare you. I just need you to understand why we can’t go to the police. Why you have to trust me, even if you hate me right now.’
I usher Lucy into the house, scanning the shadows before locking the door behind us. The space is sparse, but it’ll keep her alive.
‘You can’t keep me here.’ Lucy whirls on me, eyes blazing. Even terrified, she’s got more fire than sense.
‘Actually, I can.’ I check the windows, then make sure the curtains are closed. ‘Unless you’ve got a death wish.’
‘What I have is a story to write.’ She jabs a finger at my chest. ‘People deserve to know the truth about the Keans. About Marshall. About you.’
I catch her wrist. ‘The truth gets people killed.’
‘So does silence!’ She yanks free. ‘How many others have the Keans murdered while everyone looked the other way? How many more Marshalls are out there, covering up their crimes?’
‘Lucy—”
‘No.’ She cuts me off. ‘You don’t get to ‘Lucy’ me. Not after lying to my face for weeks. Not after…’ Her voice cracks. ‘I trusted you.’
The guilt hits like a sucker punch. ‘I know. And I’m sorry. But right now, staying alive is more important than your story.’
‘Says the man who just murdered someone.’
‘To protect you!’
‘I didn’t ask for your protection!’ She’s trembling now, but whether from fear or rage, I can’t tell. ‘I didn’t ask for any of this.’
‘Well, you’ve got it anyway.’ I rake a hand through my hair. ‘So here are the rules. No phones. No internet. No contact with the outside world. You don’t leave without me, and you sure as hell don’t try running to the cops.’
‘Or what? You’ll kill me too?’
The accusation stings worse than I expected. ‘I’m trying to keep you alive, damn it. Why can’t you understand that?’
‘Because I don’t know who you are anymore.’ Her voice drops to a whisper. ‘I’m not sure I ever did. You think you’re a hero, but you’re not. You’re just like them.”
Anger powers me. I pull the list she’d created with the victims of the fire from my pocket. “See this?” I jab at the top names. “That was my mother. When we were kids, she’d sing us to sleep, rock us when we were sick. This is my father. He taught us to play football.”
Her brow furrows as if she doesn’t understand what I’m saying.
“This is Megan, who shouldn’t have been there that night, but Ash snuck her in because he loved her and wanted to marry her. Ash has never recovered from her death.”
Lucy’s face softens. Am I getting through?
“Mrs. Cramer was our cook. She taught me to make kickass pancakes, which you would have known about if you hadn’t run off the other night.”
The memories flood back from that night. ‘Sarah Klein. The housekeeper. She was planning her daughter’s wedding. Had the dress picked out and everything. Used to let me and my brothers sneak candy.’ I look up at Lucy, meeting her eyes. ‘These weren’t characters in some story you’re chasing. They were real people. People who laughed and loved and lived. People who deserve justice, not to be forgotten in some police cover-up while the men responsible built their empire on their ashes. Not treated with disdain or disrespect… like they deserved to die.’
She swallows, and I wonder if I’m getting through. Surely, she can understand the pain and anger even if she wouldn’t go as far as me and my brothers would.
The paper crumples slightly in my grip. ‘So yes, I killed Marshall. Because I remember how he used to ruffle my hair and call me ‘sport’, and then he turned around and arranged my family’s murder.”
“And that justifies—”
‘And what about you?’ I snarl, the pain of her rejection twisting into something uglier. ‘Don’t act all innocent with me. Your only interest in me was for your precious story.”
‘At least I was honest about what I wanted,’ Lucy snaps back. ‘I never hid who I was or what I was after. You knew from the moment we met that I was investigating the Keans.’
My jaw clenches. ‘And you don’t care who gets hurt in the process, do you? Just another ambitious reporter chasing her big break.’
‘Don’t you dare.’ Her eyes flash. ‘I wanted justice. I wanted the truth. Which is more than I can say for you. I trusted you,’ she whispers. “And the whole time, you were lying to my face.’
‘You want to talk about trust?’ I slam my palm against the wall beside her head, making her jump. ‘How many times have I told you not to do stupid things like follow Kean men into an alley? Not to reveal who you are? You can’t help yourself. If I wasn’t there to protect you—”
“I never asked for your protection—”
“The only reason you’re alive right now is because of my protection.” I jerk away, anger and frustration coursing madly through me. I take a breath and turn to face her. “If I didn’t follow you to the alley that night, you’d have been raped and killed and disappeared off the face of the earth. And I’d still be Flynn Tine, an Ifrinn hiding in plain sight, learning about the Kean operation, and my brothers wouldn’t be pissed at me. Is that what I should have done? Let you be killed? It sure would have saved me this hassle.”
Her jaw ticks because she knows she can’t deny any of that. She’d be dead without me.
I take another calming breath and step toward her, ignoring how she tenses as I do. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I’ll protect you—”
‘Don’t pretend you care—’
‘But I do care!’ The words explode out of me, wanting to make her understand. ‘Fucking hell, Lucy, I can’t hardly breathe each time you’re around Kean’s men.”
“You just want my research.”
I throw my hands up. “No, I don’t. I never did. That was you, sweetheart. You’re the one who insisted on working with us—”
“I thought you were law enforcement.”
“It doesn’t change that working together was your idea. And I went along not because I wanted what you knew. I went along because I knew you’d do stupid shit that would get you killed. Because I wanted to be around you—” I cut myself off.
‘That’s not fair.’ Her voice cracks. ‘You don’t get to say things like that. Not now.’
‘You think I wanted this? You think I planned on caring about someone when I’m trying to bring down the most dangerous family in Boston?’
‘Stop it.’ She wraps her arms around herself.
‘No, you wanted honesty?’ I step closer. ‘Here it is. I’m terrified. Not of the Keans, not of dying. I’m terrified of losing you. And now you’re looking at me like I’m a monster, and maybe I am, but I can’t…” The vulnerability hits too hard. I retreat, walls slamming back up. ‘But none of that matters now, does it? Because all you see is your story.’
“I’m not the bad guy here.”
I laugh derisively. “Really? I wonder, how many times have you thought about your headline since learning the Ifrinns aren’t gone? You just got the biggest story of your life, Lucy.”
Her blue gaze holds mine, and I can see the wheels turning in her head. I’m not wrong. She knows that her story about the Keans’ corrupt rise in business is now one that will put her in the spotlight. It’s the biggest story in Boston in years.
It fucking hurt to see the fear and loathing in her eyes toward me since learning who I was, but this, having her view me as a ticket to a Pulitzer instead of a man who cares for her, it guts me.
I’ve been wasting my breath. It’s time to move on.
‘You’re staying here.’ My voice comes out rough, final. ‘Not forever, but until we deal with the Keans.”
Lucy’s head snaps up, those blue eyes blazing. ‘You can’t just—”
‘I can and I will.’ Steel enters my tone. The same steel that’s kept my brothers and me alive for ten years. ‘But you won’t have to see me again. I’ll have Ash bring you food, clothes, whatever you need. But you’re not leaving this house until it’s safe.’
‘And when will that be?’ Her voice cracks. ‘When you’ve killed everyone who knows what happened?’
The accusation burns, but I force myself to stay steady. ‘When the people responsible for murdering my family can’t hurt anyone else. Including you.’
‘I don’t want your protection.’ She spits the words like venom.
‘Tough. Because you’ve got it whether you want it or not. I won’t lose someone else I care about to the Keans.’ I hold my hand out. “Give me your phone.”
“No.”
“I’ll have Ash bring you a new one. This one isn’t safe. The Keans will find you.”
For a moment, I think she’s going to continue to resist, but finally, she hands me her phone. I pocket it with plans to dump it on my way back to the city. I head to the door, pausing at the threshold. I resist looking back at her because I know if I do, my resolve might break.
‘Everything you need will be provided. Just… stay alive. Please.’
I slam the door behind me, but Lucy’s wounded expression follows me out into the night. My chest feels like it’s being crushed in a vise. Every step away from her physically hurts. Is this how Ash feels all the time? No wonder he’s against love.
‘Damn it!’ The shout echoes in the car as I drive back to Boston. Maybe I should have told her sooner, should have trusted her with the truth before Marshall exposed it. Maybe then she wouldn’t think everything between us was a lie.
But I couldn’t risk it, couldn’t risk her getting caught in the crossfire like Ash’s girl, Megan, did. Like everyone else we loved.
The memory of her in my arms twists the knife deeper. The way she’d smiled at me, trusted me, let me in. And now she’s my prisoner, locked away for her own protection.
As I arrive at Phoenix’s place, I work to get Lucy out of my system. I need all my strength to deal with my brothers who’ll no doubt be pissed at me. As I enter his apartment, the tension is palpable.
‘What the hell were you thinking?’ Phoenix’s voice cuts through the silence. ‘Killing Marshall in the open? With a witness?’
‘He recognized me.’ I slam the door behind me. ‘What was I supposed to do?’
‘Not murder him in front of your girlfriend!’ Blaise pushes off the wall he was leaning against. ‘Ten years we’ve stayed hidden. Ten years of careful planning, and you blow it all for pussy?’
I grab Blaise and shove him back against the wall. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Hey!” Phoenix pulls me back and gets in my face. “We had one shot at this. One chance to make the Keans pay for what they did. Now Marshall’s dead, and they’ll be on high alert.’
‘At least we know he was part of it,’ I growl.
‘We already suspected that!’ Phoenix says with exasperation.
Ash’s quiet voice cuts through the argument. ‘How many times did you dream about killing him, Phoenix?’
The question hits home. The rage drains from Phoenix’s face. “I’ve dreamt about killing them all.”
‘We all wanted him dead,’ Ash continues. ‘The difference is, Flint had the chance and took it.”
“I had to before he told anyone I was alive.” I sink into a chair, the weight of my actions making it difficult to stay upright. ‘He would’ve warned the Keans. We’d have lost any advantage we had.’
Phoenix’s eyes drill into me. ‘You don’t think his death will raise questions?”
“About us? No. Ifrinns can’t be the only ones who want Marshall dead. Chances are people will think it’s a mugging.”
“Still, the Keans will circle the wagons. They’ll be on guard,” Blaise says.
He’s right. I’ve kicked the hornet’s nest, and there’s no telling how far the fallout will spread. Will Lucy ever be safe?
‘What about the girl?’ Blaise asks. ‘She’s a liability.’
‘She stays where she is,’ I growl. ‘Until this is over.’
Phoenix’s expression darkens. ‘And if she talks?’
‘She won’t.’ The words come out more confident than I feel. ‘She knows what’s at stake now.’
“She’s a reporter, Flint.” Blaise shakes his head at me. “And she’s sitting on the story of a lifetime.”
He’s not wrong.
“What do you suggest?” Ash asks, and for a moment, I want to kick his ass for even asking the question. “Because killing her is out of the question.”
Okay, so maybe he’s not so bad.
“Who said anything about killing?” Phoenix asks.
“Liabilities are usually—”
“She won’t talk.” I stare at each brother in turn.
“I hope she cares about you as much as you care about her,” Phoenix says. “Because that would be the only reason she’d sit on this story.”
She doesn’t give a shit about me. Certainly not more than the story. I feel like I’m being ripped in two. I love my brothers. I’m all in on our plan of vengeance for our parents’ deaths. I can’t let anything get in the way of that.
But Lucy… she’s now a part of my soul. How can I protect all my brothers and I have worked for from her? How can I protect her from them?
