Present
“So, you really like causing us all stress, huh? Girl, I’ve known you for, what? Fifteen years? And I have never known you to be this dramatic,” an echoing voice says from the darkness that I’m pretty sure belongs to Izzy.
“You know, Marco is going out of his damn mind. He’s okay by the way… he woke up yesterday to find out that you were in a damn coma. But you’ve been weaned off the meds, so hopefully you’ll wake the fuck up soon so he can relax a little.”
Marco’s okay.
That’s all that matters to me.
“Wake up soon, Sloane. I’ve really gotten into this girls’ nights and friendships thing, yet you already missed one while you were kidnapped, I’ll be pissed if you miss any more.”
I swear, that girl isn’t normal.
The voice drifts away and I’m left with nothing but silence once more.
“Hey, sis,” a new voice says, though it doesn’t sound like my brother. I’m struggling to place it with the heaviness that is my mind and the darkness that surrounds me.
“So the doctors say we should talk to you, which I find really fucking weird. Like, can you even hear us? Then again, I feel like I hear Robyn’s voice in the wind sometimes, so I guess it is possible.”
Ah, Enzo.
“My big brother needs you, Sloane. He misses you. He keeps sneaking in here to be with you when he should be in his damn hospital bed healing, but no one ever said he was a man of patience, so I guess we’re just gonna have to deal with it.”
He’s been here?
I haven’t heard him speak to me. But then again, this whole thing could just be a really fucked up part of my imagination.
Either that or I’m dead.
“Wake up soon, yeah? I need you to marry my brother so it actually makes sense when I call you sis. Plus, I can’t wait to annoy the fuck out of Finn about you being a Romano.”
I hear an echoing chuckle and then the voice is gone.
“Hey, Sloane,” Luca’s voice rattles around inside my head. “I’m just gonna cut to the chase. We’ve been waiting for you to wake up for two weeks now. My wife is worried, and my brother is beside himself. So if you could just like… wake up? That’d be great.”
Oh really, I think dryly. It’s not like I’m not trying, Luca.
“You know…” He pauses. “I was hurt when I found out about you. It hurt that my brother had this big love in his life that I had no idea about, but I don’t blame him, you know? Izzy has my entire heart, and I’d do the same as whatever it is he had to do to you to keep her safe. I’m just glad you’re back in his life… and I hope you’ll stay.”
“Uhm, hey,” an almost innocent voice says, and I instantly know that it belongs to Robyn.
But where the hell is Marco? Why can’t I hear him?
“So, Marco had to go for some tests and the rest of the family went with him. Your brother was here, but he had to rush off for some reason, so I volunteered to sit and talk to you.
“I know we don’t know each other well, but I hope we’ll get the chance to. Did you know that I was scared of Marco when we first met? He was like this big, powerful presence that didn’t speak and only communicated in grunts. It honestly kinda spooked me a little… but then when you came into my hospital room that day? Well, that was the day that everything changed. He was no longer that person, and that’s because of you, Sloane. You need to wake up so you can finally meet your niece.”
Everyone keeps telling me to wake up, but I’m fucking trying. I don’t want to be trapped in this void of nothingness.
I just want to wake up.
I just want to be with Marco and see for my own eyes that he’s okay.
“Hello, sweetheart.” It’s Marco’s father speaking this time, which is still weird to me. To think, ten years ago we thought he would disapprove of our relationship, when in reality he’s been nothing but supportive. Encouraging, even.
“You know, my son was never the same after you left. It broke my heart seeing him a shell of himself, so I was happy to find out you were coming back to the city. It’s what I’ve always wanted, Sloane, for you to come back… for you to come home to him.”
It’s what I always wanted, too; I just didn’t think it was possible. I didn’t think he wanted me.
“I’m well aware of what my son is like, and he may be a grouchy asshole at times.”
Understatement of the century.
“But he has one hell of a heart, and that heart beats for you.
“Come back to him, Sloane. Because I’m not sure my son can live without his heart.”
“Little sister,” my brother murmurs and I feel nothing but relief at the sound of his voice. Being twins, we’ve always had a special relationship, even though we lived in different states for so long.
He’s my brother, he’s an extension of myself, he’s my best friend.
“I got cocky, little sis, and for that I’m sorry. Dad always told me Uncle Nolan would come back one day, but I figured he was just being his usual paranoid self. I didn’t think it would come to this and I’m so goddamn sorry this happened to you. And don’t tell Marco, but I’m sorry this happened to him, too. He’s a good guy, Sloane. He’d lay his life down for you, he always has, which is why I’ve always rooted for the two of you.
“I never told you about the time I almost joined you at Aunt Jen’s back when Dad was alive… but I was persuaded to stay, and I’m guessing you know by who,” he says with a chuckle. I’d love nothing more than to be awake right now, to be able to laugh and joke with my brother like we did when we were younger.
I’ve been slacking lately, if I ever wake up from this hell, I need to make more time for my brother. I need to be a better sister.
“Sloane.” Marco’s voice cracking throughout the darkness instantly catches my attention.
This is the first time I’ve heard his voice.
Or at least, I think it is.
And God, have I needed to hear it.
Every single time I start to hear someone talking, I hope with everything in me that it’s him.
And every single time I’ve heard someone speak to me, I’ve been let down when I didn’t hear his voice, but someone else’s instead.
“It’s been a month, baby. I need you to wake up. Please, Sloane,” he whispers, sounding so goddamn broken it breaks my heart.
“You were the one who was supposed to survive, baby. It was always supposed to be you. I can’t fucking live without you, Sloane, not again. Not ever again. I love you, little warrior, with everything that I am. You’re the only light in my life, and without you, it’s nothing but darkness.”
It’s dark here, too.
The quiet descends once more and I think I’ve lost him, but it’s not until I hear the distant sound of a choked sob that I realize he’s still here.
I will my body to wake up, for my eyes to open, for my hand to twitch, but all I have is darkness. A never-ending void of nothingness surrounds me and I wish like hell that I could find a way to claw my way out. I wish I could find a way back to him.
“You wanna know something ridiculous?” he asks after a moment of silence, and I wish I could answer him, though he continues as though I did. “In the time you were gone, there were so many times I almost thought fuck it and came and found you. I had promised myself that if I ever saw you again, I’d never let you go. It didn’t matter what I would have had to do to keep you, I was going to do it. But then I saw you in the hospital, and I saw that empty look in your eyes. A look that could never belong to you.
“You were always so full of life, you know? And the idea of me doing that to you haunted me. I know that there were other factors to dull that shine of yours, baby, but at the time I had no idea what you went through while I wasn’t in your life, but now? Before this happened? That spark was finally coming back. I was finally getting you back. I was finally having that feeling of peace with you back in my life. I can’t go back to living hour by hour, wishing for things to be different. I won’t survive without you, Sloane.” The coldness in his voice makes me panic, since I’ve never heard him so damn detached. Like he’s given up. Like he has nothing to live for when in fact, he has everything.
He can’t give up.
I won’t let him.
He has too much to live for to become a shell of himself, just like his father said he was before.
He’s mine, and if he wants to try and give up on himself, then he’ll have to go through me first.
