“There you go,” I coo to Polly as I tug her little sleep suit on over her fresh diaper and pinch her sweet little chubby cheeks. She smiles up at me, and my heart warms at once. There’s something about that bright grin that really makes my day. Just knowing that she’s happy, it’s all I really want.
And that’s exactly how she seems, after spending the morning with Luca and me. He slept over last night, which was probably a bad idea, but I’m not going to overthink it now that it’s happened. When he came over, there was something in the air between us at once, and I know it’s not the kind of shit you can just brush off. No matter how bad an idea Cara thinks all of this is.
“I think it’s time for your nap,” I tell her, heading through to her little room. We spent this morning doing some tummy time, a little play, and now she’s eaten and changed and ready for some rest. Which I am glad for, because I feel like there’s a whole lot more to Luca that I want to get to the bottom of.
Once I’ve put her down, I emerge into the kitchen once more, to find Luca standing there with two cups of coffee. He’s still wearing his tee and jeans, but he’s barefoot now, and he looks like he belongs there.
“One of these for me?” I joke as I reach out to take a cup from him.
“No, this one’s for Polly,” he teases. “Thought she was looking a little sleepy, she could use the caffeine boost…”
“Oh God, I can’t think of anything worse,” I laugh, as I push a hand through my hair. For a moment, his eyes just linger on me, and I feel a flush rising to my cheeks. There’s something about being under the scrutiny of his gaze that does things to me, even though I’m quite sure it shouldn’t.
“So how are you feeling this morning?” he wonders aloud, finally breaking the silence between us.
“Better than I was feeling last night,” I admit. “Much better, actually. Thanks for coming over like you did, I know it was a big ask…”
“Katie, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you,” he admonishes me gently. “I want to be here for you. For both of you.”
He glances toward the room where Polly is sleeping, and my heart skips a beat. I saw the way he looked at her last night—I could see the adoration in his eyes, that love that was written all over his face. I can’t even imagine how strange this is for him, to be part of our lives right now, given everything that’s happened between us over the last year or so.
“I think Polly really likes you,” I offer, hoping to change the subject to something a little brighter.
He grins. “You think?”
I nod. “Yeah, she really does,” I promise him. “She hasn’t met many people, but she’s usually a little nervous around them at first. Not you. She couldn’t wait to get to know you.”
His smile widens. “Yeah, well, I’m looking forward to getting to know her too.”
I chew my lip, my mind flying to what he said to me the other day—that he was only going to be in this city for a few months, and then he would be going back to his family. His real family, that is, not whatever we have going on here.
“You think you’re going to be around long enough for that?” I ask him nervously. I know it’s none of my business, not really, but there’s still a part of me that wants to know just how far this goes for him. I can tell that he’s struggling to think about that, with the way the smile instantly drops from his face.
“I have no idea,” he admits, after a long silence. “I don’t know how long all of this shit with my father is going to go on, and even when it’s over…”
He trails off. I almost don’t want to know what’s lingering in those unsaid words, but I’m sure I have to find out.
“Even when it’s over…?” I prompt him.
“I don’t know if we’re going to come out on top.”
His voice is hollow and hard, as though it’s the first time he’s been able to even think something like this. My heart drops. All this time, I’ve assumed that they are the ones to be scared of, but what if there are people out there even more dangerous than him?
“What’s going on back there?” I ask him. “I mean, why did you leave…?”
He sighs, and pushes a hand through his hair.
“It’s not like we could just walk away from it,” he mutters. “We could never let him do what he was doing, I…”
He pauses once he gets a look at the baffled expression on my face, and then goes back to the start, realizing that I don’t have a damn clue what he’s talking about.
“There’s this guy,” he explains. “Rival gang leader. And he started to push into our territory a little. We pushed him out, he would push back, this went on for a few years and I never thought it was anything more than just the usual bullshit we put up with. But then…”
He shakes his head.
“He started getting stronger. More men, better trained, better weapons. He started taking territory from us, and then we found out how he’s funding all of this.”
He flicks his tongue over his lips, as though he wants to avoid actually coming out and saying it.
“Sex trafficking.”
My stomach curls into a ball at the mere mention of those words. Something so cruel, so dark, so twisted, it makes me feel sick. And the look in his eyes tells me that he feels exactly the same way.
“My father couldn’t let that stand,” he continues. “None of us could. We know this business has its downsides, everyone knows that, but something like sex trafficking…it’s over the line, even for us.”
I’m slightly surprised, I have to admit, to hear that all of this comes with limits of some kind—that there are boundaries that even people involved in his game will not overstep. I wonder if this is normal, or if he’s an outlier—someone who has hung on to his morals for dear life every step of the way.
“You don’t…I mean, you’re not involved in anything like that?”
He stares at me for a moment, as though he can’t believe what I’ve just said.
“You think I would be involved in something like that?”
The tone of his voice tells me how angry that makes him. I know he’s not pissed at me, but at the thought that I might believe it.
I stare at him for a moment, and lower my voice slightly. “I don’t know anything about your world,” I remind him. “I don’t know what you are and aren’t capable of. You have to understand that.”
He closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingertips, and then he nods.
“You’re right,” he admits, finally. “I’m sorry. But my family would never get involved in shit like that. I would never—the thought of it alone—”
He falls silent.
“I would never,” he repeats, and that’s about as much as I’m going to get from him on the topic. I stare at him for a long moment as he gathers himself again, considering the new information I’ve just discovered. I have to admit—it’s not what I expected to hear from him, but it’s clear he feels strongly about it.
Because of what he’s involved in, there was a part of me that felt as though I could never really connect with him—as though he would just be too far removed from everything I have experienced for me to make sense of who he really is as a person. But hearing the passion in his voice, I can see a little of myself there, a little of the girl who got involved in politics in the first place because she couldn’t stand to see the way the world was starting to go.
He lifts his coffee to his lips, and takes a long sip.
“I have work to get to,” he remarks, slightly gruff, as though he’s not used to showing that kind of emotion. “But I can come back afterward, if you want. Or send my brother to—”
“It’s fine,” I assure him swiftly. “I’m going to be okay. I just…I just needed you last night, that was all.”
He eyes me for a long moment, and I can tell he has his doubts—but he thinks better of arguing with me on it, and goes to get dressed and leave.
And as he stands in the door, there is a part of me that wants to ask him to stay. But I know that we have already spilled more than we might have intended to with each other over the course of the last twelve hours. Maybe it’s in our best interests to take some time to cool down after everything that’s happened.
“I’ll see you soon, Katie,” he tells me. It sounds like a promise.
“See you soon, Luca.”
And with that, he leaves, and I watch him vanish down the stairs—feeling a tug in my chest with every step he takes.
And wondering just how long it will be before we can be together again.
