I check my phone for what feels like the thousandth time in the last day. I’m not sure how long she’s going to make me wait for an answer—but I know, sure as hell, that I’m not going to be able to take much more in the way of waiting.
It’s a huge decision for her, and I know that. I’m not oblivious to the fact that she’s going to be walking away from so much here. She has worked so hard to make this life for herself, even with no family to fall back on to help her, and now I’m asking her to step away from it and into a world that’s already caused her more trouble than can possibly seem worth it.
Which is why I went out to do a little shopping the day before yesterday, after she left. I knew that, if I was going to ask for something as huge as this, I would need to be prepared to back it up with my actions. And if this isn’t enough to convince her, I don’t know what will be.
She said she would visit when she got the chance today—seems like she was in the middle of something, though I’m not sure whether I should be worried about it or not. I can’t help but think I should try to get more out of her, but I don’t even know what that really looks like. She’s either going to come with me, or she isn’t, and I have to accept it either way…
Finally, the door to my apartment buzzes. I head over to answer it at once. I suppose I should care about looking too eager, but this is the mother of my child we’re talking about. I still can’t believe it’s really come to this, that I have a woman like her in my life now, a woman who has brought my child into the world, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
She reaches the door, and she gives me a small smile when her eyes meet mine. My heart jumps in my chest. She looks happy—excited, even. That has to be good news, doesn’t it? She reaches up and gives me a hug, and I press my face into the side of her neck, letting myself linger for a moment in the feeling of just having her here with me once more.
“I missed you so much,” she murmurs, the words emerging from some place deep inside of her and convincing me that she means every word. I can’t help but smile. As I pull back, I gaze down at her, scanning her face for anything more in the way of clues to her decision.
“You’ve had time to think?” I ask her. With Emil back at my father’s side once more, I can’t help but feel as though he will tell him about Polly, about this family that I have down here, about everything that’s going on. And when he does, I want to have an answer for my father about whether or not Katie will be joining our clan—or if she intends to stay behind and pretend like I never existed in the first place.
She nods, her teeth resting on her bottom lip for a moment before she tells me.
“Yeah, I have,” she murmurs, and her gaze flicks up to meet mine. With a beaming smile, she finally comes out with it, the words I’ve been longing to hear.
“I want to go with you. I want to move to the city with you and Polly…I want to find out what life’s like out there. I want a fresh start.”
For a moment, I just stand there, wrapping my head around the enormity of what she just said. My life is about to change for good. Everything I’ve made for myself, everything that I’ve had planned for my future, it’s never going to be the same again after this. No, everything is different—in ways I could never have seen coming, even a year ago.
But as Katie looks back into my eyes, I know this is where she belongs. At my side. As my partner, as the mother of my child…
And if I have my way, my wife too.
“You have no idea how much I’ve been hoping you’ll say that,” I murmur to her, lifting a hand to caress the side of her face as she beams up at me. “Jesus, Katie, for a second there, I thought you were going to say no.”
She giggles slightly, as though the mere thought of it is utterly ridiculous to her.
“Don’t be silly,” she replies. “I just needed time to clear my head. But if you think you get to walk into my life and just stroll on out again without taking responsibility for me…you’ve got another thing coming.”
She’s grinning—but I can tell from the look on her face that she’s just kidding, that this isn’t about forcing me to stand by her side. No, this is a choice we’ve both made, a decision to stay with one another that I’m not going to let anything take from me. She’s part of the family now, and nothing is going to change that.
“Then I have something to ask you,” I reply, and she frowns at me before I turn away to pull open the drawer to the living room table. I’ve had the ring stashed in there since I picked it up a couple of days ago. I knew it was a long shot, maybe too soon, but there’s no way I’m going to risk her saying yes without the means to make it official.
I lift the small red box into my hand and hold it there reverently for a moment. I spent the better part of an hour picking out this ring, choosing a gold band with a blue gem pressed into it that will bring out the color of her eyes.
When I turn to her, I can see the shock written all over her face. I know this is a lot, but fuck it, the last few months have been a lot too. There’s no point pretending that what we have here isn’t serious, isn’t meant to be for the rest of our lives. We could have gone on without ever seeing each other again, had it not been for the strange collection of circumstances that led me to that hospital room when she was giving birth to Polly. I refuse to leave the rest of our lives up to such chance.
No, I’m going to lock her down, and I’m going to show her just how serious I about this.
“What’s that?” she gasps, as I sink down to one knee before her.
“I think you know,” I reply, popping open the ring box so she can see the gem glittering at her in the warm sunshine pouring through the window.
“But when did you…I mean, how did you…”
She seems to be struggling with her words right now, and I guess that shouldn’t come as a surprise, all things considered. She’s just wrapped her head around the thought of leaving with me, and now I’m down on one knee before her, asking her to spend the rest of her life with me. Or at least, I will be, just as soon as she catches her breath.
“I wanted to be prepared if you came back to me with the answer I wanted,” I explain softly. “I got the ring because I want to make things official between us, Katie. And I…”
I draw in a deep breath. I’ve been figuring out exactly how to put this into words since the moment I picked out the ring—I know it’s not going to be easy, given everything we’ve been through, to capture the extent of my feelings toward her, but I have to try.
“Katie, when I met you, I could never have imagined it would lead us here,” I admit. “I…I thought we would just be a passing fling. And we might have stayed that way, had it not been for the fact that you turned up in my hospital room a few months later, bringing our daughter into the world.”
She presses her lips together, her eyes gleaming with tears.
“And even back then, even with the craziness of finding out I had a daughter that I didn’t know about,” I go on. “I knew. I knew there was something about you that I wanted to hold close—I knew I needed you as part of my life, no matter how difficult it might be, no matter what it might cost. And now that I truly know you for the person you are, I can tell I was right. You’re brave, you’re strong, you’re smart—you don’t take anyone’s shit, including mine. If you weren’t already the mother of my child, you’re exactly the woman I would want to have a family with. I love you, and I know I’m only going to fall more and more in love with you with every passing day. So…”
I pause before I come out with the ultimate question, the one I know is going to change everything.
“Katie Kincaid, will you marry me?”
She nods before she can even speak a word out loud—I didn’t expect any different answer from her, but it still sends a smile spreading across my face.
“Of course I will,” she replies finally, as I rise to my feet and take the ring into my hand. “I—I don’t know what to say…”
“You don’t have to say anything other than yes,” I promise her. And as I slip the ring onto her finger, it’s as though I can sense our whole future spreading out before us—our entire lives together, at each other’s side, raising our daughter and maybe future children in the years to come. It doesn’t matter what shape our family takes—as long as she’s a part of it, I will be happy.
“Oh my God,” she sighs, gazing down at the ring.
“You okay?” I ask her, rubbing my hand along the small of her back. It might be a joyous occasion, but that doesn’t mean it’s not overwhelming for her to make sense of what she’s just agreed to.
“More than okay,” she replies, with a slight giggle. “I just…I guess I didn’t expect to be proposed to today.”
“Hope I didn’t throw off your schedule for the week too much,” I joke, and she laughs.
“Hmm, I’m sure I can squeeze it in among everything else,” she muses aloud, as she extends her hand in front of her and looks down at the new ring on her finger. “I just…I can’t believe this, Luca.”
“Really?” I shoot back playfully. “Because if I turned up in the city and my father saw that I had a daughter and a girlfriend without a ring on her finger, I think he would kick my ass into next week.”
She laughs, a little shakily.
“Oh God, I haven’t even met your father yet,” she says, rubbing a hand over her face. “What’s he going to think of me, getting you to marry me like this when he hasn’t even met me…?”
“He’s going to have to find some way to get used to it,” I reply firmly. “And he will. He’s dedicated to his family, and that family involves you and Polly now too.”
“Aren’t mafia weddings supposed to be huge events?” she asks, her face brightening. “Do I get to have the fairytale walking-down-the-aisle moment in a big frothy dress…?”
I chuckle, and wrap my arms around her.
“You can have anything you want,” I assure her, dropping a kiss on her forehead. She rests her hand on my face again, and I can feel the cool pressure of the ring against my skin—a reminder of the promise she’s just made.
“I’m going to hold you to that,” she teases me, leaning up to kiss me again. And as our lips sink into each other once more, I know I am helpless to deny her anything she asks for right now. Whatever she demands, I will give it to her, if it means she will be happy.
And as I hold her in my arms right now, I get the feeling she is. Happy, that is. And my job for the rest of my days is to make sure she stays that way.
No matter what it takes.
