Gianna’s return is as unexpected as it is welcome. I mean, I’ve been expecting her to call any day now to meet her at the airport.
But when I wake up from a small nap to the sound of voices coming from the living room as I head downstairs, I’m not expecting to see her sitting on the sofa with Lucian giggling in her arms.
They both scream, ‘Surprise!’ Then she walks over to me and hugs me so tight, and I sink into her arms.
‘Oh, my goodness. What is this?’ I whisper-scream against her neck. I pull away and stare into her eyes to assure myself she really is here, hair tied up in a whimsy little bun, clad in a blazer and pants that are way bigger than her.
‘A surprise. I know you’re surprised. Daniel dropped me off.’ I pull her into my arms again and smother her and myself with how tight we’re hugging.
‘I’m shocked. I love it. Come sit.’ I usher her into a sofa and swing Lucian into my lap, where he wraps his hand around my neck.
‘Where’s Xander?’ She asks. I shuffle uncomfortably on my seat, and she clocks the movement. He’d gone to work. And he hadn’t said it, but I’d known something was wrong.
Something he wasn’t telling me.
‘He’s at Amory Corps. He’ll be home before dinner. He’ll be so glad to see you.’ I lie through gritted teeth.
Gianna rolls her eyes, and even I can hear her suck at her teeth. ‘I know Xander, Mel. The last person he’ll be glad to sit at dinner with is me.’
‘Not true.’ I laugh. ‘I’m sure there are worse companions for dinner than a beautiful woman like yourself.’
‘Which he won’t notice because you’ll be at that table yourself.’ She teases.
I wave my hand, but my heart trips in my chest. ‘Oh, let’s not talk about him. How’s Montenegro been? Papi?’
Papi was the man who lived on the compound with us. He ran security for us and dealt with most of the locals that we couldn’t deal with. I’ve missed him.
‘He’s fine. Sends his regards along with his recriminations. Why haven’t you called?’
I shrug. ‘I’m heart sick. If that makes sense.’
She nods and sighs, relaxing into the chair. ‘I didn’t want to leave.’ She swings a finger in the air back and forth. ‘Be glad I love you.’
I place my hand against my chest and smile at a bouncing Lucian before turning to her. ‘Trust me. I’m ever grateful for that. Where’s Daniel?’
‘Went in for a meeting with dad, and then on to work. I’ve really missed you, Sissy. It’s so good to be back.’
‘I’ve missed you too. Lots and lots.’ Lucian snuggles into me, and I sniffle gently.
‘Now let’s talk. How are things with Xander?’
I take a look at Hailey and place Lucian on the ground. ‘Do you want to go get chocolate with Hailey?’
He nods and runs over to her. She leads him out of the room and I wonder how she can stay so silent most of the time.
It’s worrying because I have no idea how she feels about being here. But Gianna is here, so I return my attention to her.
I walk the distance to her and sink onto her own couch, my eyes on the view outside. It’s a picture of nature with trees stationary in the heat outside.
‘Better than I thought it could be.’ I bring my eyes back to hers and zero in on the probe in hers.
‘Are you hiding the bruises? You can be honest with me, you know.’.
I shake my head no and chuckle. ‘I swear he hasn’t hit me, and I can’t believe I have to say that to begin with. Xander would never hurt me.’
‘I know.’
‘He’s taken it better than I expected he would. We’re down to a few angry looks, at least. He’s been open, and we’ve talked.’
Gianna’s eyes widen. ‘Xander talked? He’s not mad? He didn’t bring down the roof? I’m shocked.’
I am too. And it had been my experience. Since the night when he’d returned and refused to take me in the shower, he hadn’t been with me since. Not even a touch.
Three days later, I was yearning for even a touch, and he hadn’t given me that. He comes home these days early enough to have time with Lucian, and then he would be in bed immediately.
I lead Lucian up to bed unless he takes him up himself. Then he would shower and fall into bed, either to read or lie awake, just staring at the ceiling.
Last night, he’d pulled me into his arms and taken the kiss I offered, but when my hand had started wandering down his body, he’d stopped and groaned, then put me away and slipped out of bed.
I found him twenty minutes later in Lucian’s room, just staring at his son.
So no, I don’t believe he’s angry, but there’s definitely something rattling around in his head. And while I don’t want to probe, I’m dying to know what it is.
I snap back into the conversation when my sister blows her minty breath in my face. ‘What were you thinking of? I mean, do you need a penny or a dollar for your thoughts?’
‘How about a million? Xander’s not mad. Or maybe he is. I don’t know, but he’s been cool. Really fine with all this and taking it in his stride. If I’d known this was possible, I never would’ve kept Lucian away from him that long.’
‘I’m glad to hear that I have your stamp of approval, Melissa.’ His cold voice breaks in.
Goosebumps break out on my skin, and I snap off the couch, but I only get his back. Gianna has a hand over her mouth and a cool look in her eyes that belies the whole hand over her mouth.
I hurry after Xander into the kitchen, where he’s dropping off the bags in his hands.
‘That was nothing like what it sounded like.’ I stutter from behind him.
‘What did it sound like?’ He asks calmly, his back to me. He sounds like he doesn’t care. But I know this man. I’ve been in his bed a million times; I’ve skimmed my fingers over his skin; I know all the groves and creases of his flesh.
He’s angry. And holding a tight leash over it. His back is tense, his shoulder tight, and he isn’t looking at me.
‘As though I never meant to tell you about Lucian. I was going to.’
‘Stupendo. I believe you. Okay.’
I stop, wary about his easy acceptance. I don’t understand it.
‘I realize you’ll never trust me again, Xander. But I swear that was all. It was just a conversation with my sister.’
‘Then come prove it to me.’ He turns to me finally, and I see the redness of his eyes. He’s angry, but the tight clench of his lips has nothing to do with me.
‘What happened?’ I hurry to him and let myself relax into him the way he’s always liked to have me. I can make him feel he is my protector. That he owns my body and soul and no one else but him will do.
‘Bad day at work. Lost some of my men.’ His hands tighten painfully around me, and his chest expands with a deep sigh. ‘Fucking Russians fucked us over with Sandro.’
‘Who’s Sandro? Actually, don’t answer that. Come have a shower with me.’ He hesitates when I leave his arms and hold my hand out to him. ‘Please.’
He looks around uncertainly. ‘I wanted to spend time with Lucian, so I brought us some lunch. I’m fucking barking with anger, but I wanted to hold him.’
‘Come shower first. Maybe later we’ll have dinner together. ‘
He nods and follows beside me, his hand on my waist. When we slip into the room, I lock the door behind me and undress first. He watches me, hunger and rage playing across his face, his brow taut.
‘What are you doing?’ He asks warily. I ignore him, instead stepping out of the black dress and stepping towards him in the little scraps of lingerie I’m wearing. I hide a smile at the answering bulge winking at me from his pants.
I cup him through his pants and stroke my hand over him. ‘Getting you ready for a shower. It’ll be a long one.’
The intensity of his eyes is as warm as a sunbeam, but he doesn’t pull away when I bend to kiss my way to his zipper. He doesn’t protest as I unzip it gently, my eyes on his the entire time.
I pull his pants off slowly, very slowly, the thump as his belt hits the floor somehow very satisfying. I grin up at him, and he steps out of the pants, his eyes flashing like a predator’s after prey.
I kiss his thighs slowly, tenderly on my way up to his cock, and wrap my hand around his thick girth, licking my lips gently.
I glide my hand from his base up to the tip, tracing my thumb over his slit, which finally elicits his first groan.
He tips his head back, and the sound vibrates his body, which leads to me placing a hand on his stomach before repeating the action to feel the vibrations.
‘Do you want me to suck you off Mi’lord?’ I whimper up even as my tongue sweeps out over my lips, my mouth salivating at the thought of it.
He lengthens in my hand, and I stare up at him, offering everything he wants. All the distraction there is to give in the world.
He shakes his head, and I feel a twinge of disappointment that feels embarrassingly close to uselessness and failure. ‘No. But I do want that shower. Then I need you to hold me.’ He looks away as the words slip between his tight, full, luscious, giving-me-everything-I’ve-always-wanted lips.
I kiss his tip and then push to my feet. ‘Then let’s do that.’
I spend nearly twenty minutes in the shower with him. Focusing all of my attention on him, letting the water glide between my fingers as I wash him, allowing him to feel all of me against his back.
All the while stroking at his hard length and then coursing my fingers through his hair to massage his scalp. He sinks against the tile of the bathroom like I had and starts talking.
‘I’ve missed this. Remember those nights you used to do this?’ He asks.
Did I remember? Had I ever forgotten? Could I ever forget? Every time he’d had a bad day, or I’d had a bad day, all I had to do was request a shower, and he would be there, talking me through it and holding me afterward. It always worked with no exceptions.
‘Yes. I never forgot. It got me through many long nights. And quite frankly, days.’
‘Did you ever touch yourself to the thought of me?’
‘I never had a choice. No other man would’ve done. Therefore, your memory had to be enough.’
‘I want to fuck you so hard right now.’ He swears. ‘Fuck Melissa. I’m scared you’ll get caught in the crossfires of whatever’s about to happen. And you’re not even my wife yet.’
‘What’s about to happen?’ I ask. ‘And if you want to take me. Then I’m willing. Right now.’
‘I can’t. I’m punishing myself, I know. But for some reason, I just don’t want to. Even though I need to.’
My brows crease with questions I couldn’t wait to voice. ‘Why?’
‘Because I’m fucking scared I’ll fuck all this anger out, and it’s all I have, Mel. This anger is everything protecting me from you.’
The hurt comes whittling at me, sharp and stabbing at my chest and my stomach and my heart and anything else it could find.
