I feel her body change. Her hands leave me first, and I feel the withdrawal like a body part gone, as though she’s already an extension of me.
‘Why do you need protection from me?’
I point at my side. ‘Did you see this?’ I rumble out of my too-tight chest.
‘The tattoos?’ She asks, confusion leaking into her voice. Her fingers land on the tattoo of a black light with the sun shading it.
The larger the dark light, the smaller the sun until it dims away almost completely at the other side of my back in just a small sliver of light and a very dark light.
She’s the sunlight. I’m the darkness. And all six tattoos represent all six years she was gone.
The first year, I hoped she’d return. Hoped it was a joke. Until by last year, I’d nearly given up. And now she’s back, I’m not certain if I’ll need more tattoos or not.
Now the fucking Russians are encroaching on my territory, war is certain to break out, and she’s making me entirely too unstable.
Worrying about my child and my wife. Because when I’d heard the Russians had invaded my territory, I’d immediately made a call to Romero to make sure she was home.
Then I’d had Ryder drive me down here to make certain because she was my weakness. She’d asked why I couldn’t have her.
Well, I could just be honest and say you didn’t indulge in dessert you knew would rot your teeth. At least, I shouldn’t. But when had I ever listened to myself when it came to this woman?
‘Yes, Mel. The tattoos. Six of them for all the years you’ve been gone. That’s how much I missed you. That’s how much I kept a reminder of you on me. You drive me to extremes.’
‘Oh. Oh, my goodness. That’s so beautiful.’ She whispers, her fingers gentle as she whisks them over the tattoo, stroking over the inky skin.
‘I would’ve never known, and I never would’ve asked. Thank you for telling me.’ She plants a gentle kiss on my back.
‘I thought about you every day too. And after I had Lucian, it became everyday. There was no escape.’
Her voice is so filled to the brim with a joyous sort of disbelief, and I find it gratifying that I’ve given in to that. I turn to her and heft her into my arms, slide my hands to cup her ass, and steal a strong kiss from her surprised lips.
She kisses me back, then spreads her legs and curves them over my ass so that her folds are right over my cock, and I throb for her.
I need to have her. She grinds into me, and that’s the last string holding my restraint together gone. I bite down on her lip and swallow her cry of pleasure when I slide my cock into her tight sheath.
‘Fuck Xander.’ She wails, her cries like beauty and life and everything in between to me.
‘You want that?’ I grit out, pulling all the way out to the tip and holding myself there even though it feels as though I’ll drive myself mad doing that.
‘I need this.’ She whimpers, bearing herself down on me. Her body pulses around me, the tight sheath of her body dragging me into the depths of my soul where an orgasm is already tearing at me.
I drive into her slowly, pushing and stroking inside the tight-as-glove wetness of her wet body. She grinds down to meet me halfway, and I fight her vice grip to pull out again and repeat the action.
I bend my head and suck her nipple into my mouth, first one and then another, my fingers tracing restlessly over her skin, little sharp swells of pleasure exploding like fireworks over my body.
She arches her breasts into my sucking tongue, and I allow my tongue to saw over her. Then I kiss my way to the other breast and lavish the same attention on it, all the time thrusting my thickness into her.
All the while groaning every time she tightens around me as her body prepares to rock over the ridge of her orgasm into another realm.
She flutters around me more and more, her moans acquiring a lighter edge to it as she crests and then spills, shuddering and shaking so hard she tips me over too.
My balls tighten, my fingers tingle, my body rears back and slams into her with no rhythm or rhyme or an attempt at control.
I sink my teeth into her neck, right into the curve where her neck meets her shoulders, and bite down hard on the flesh. Her body jerks, and her core tightens as the pain draws a pant from her.
She grinds into me harder, her body growing almost limp in my arms, and I drag my teeth along her body to give her a respite, then return it to the bite mark I’d left and sink my teeth in again.
She shudders this time and moans a loud moan that’s a symphony I want to hear my entire life. I cum into her, spilling my seeds into her willing body, wondering why I’d waited this long to have her again.
Wondering why it still felt this good all these years later. Wondering why I feel the need to have her again even as I spill the evidence of my need for her inside her warmth.
It’s insanity. A warm, wet, lovely insanity with heaving breasts that hold my attention, with hips that will cradle my child—has already cradled my child.
I kiss her lips and then let her slide down me after however long it takes for us to have our breathing under control. She smiles at me with her trembling lips, and I kiss her again; this time, it’s soft and gentle, and when I pull away, I blow a gentle breeze of air across the mark on her shoulder.
‘Did I hurt you?’ I ask. She shakes her head and darts her eyes up to mine.
‘Not at all. I liked it. I’ll wear it like a brand.’
I chuckle softly and pull out of her. Then, slap on the shower, which has somehow ended up off. I don’t know how.
‘How come you always slap it that way?’ She asks, snickering at me.
I look at the knob. ‘I do?’
She swings her hand through the air in a bad imitation of me. ‘Exactly like this. All the time.’
I smirk, then glare playfully at her. ‘I don’t do that.’ Yes, I do.
‘Yes, you do.’ She says. ‘Seen it at least three times. I like it. It’s very inherently you. I don’t think I’ll ever see anyone do it quite like you.’
‘You better not. Another man has you like this; he’ll lose more than his balls.’
She licks her lips and sighs happily, which makes me ridiculously happy. ‘Possessive. You really know how to turn a woman on.’
She lifts her wet hair off her shoulder, then looks towards the door.
‘We should probably get out there, though and devour that lunch. I’m hungry. Someone drained me.’
She takes a step away, but I shoot my hand out. ‘Do not go anywhere without Romero. Or the phone. That’s a command, Mel.’
‘A command?’
‘Will it sound any better now if I say ‘please’?’
‘Xander. I understand. I’ll try my best. I don’t want to worry you unnecessarily. But sometimes, it gets tiring.’
I understand. But I was worried about her. Daniel had been right even before we’d gotten here.
She’s my weakness.
Like dessert I couldn’t stop gorging myself on. Didn’t even want to stop at this point.
Which means I need to keep her safe. The war is on the horizon, and I haven’t forgotten how it was when she’d left me the first time, either. I could feel it hurtling towards us again.
‘I’ll be gone very often in the next few weeks. I’ll need more than your best.’
Her eyes darken, and she stares at me for a long moment. ‘Fine. I’ll always keep him with me.’ She leans on me and plants a soft kiss on my lips. ‘Now let’s go. Your son is waiting, and I’m certain my sister’s just about ready to break down this door.’
We find Gianna and Lucian in the kitchen, already halfway through the lunch I’d brought back. Lucian lifts his head, and for the first time, he runs straight into my arms. I lift him and swing him into the air, and walk with him towards the table.
Gianna watches suspiciously, like she’s not certain what’s taken over me. ‘It’s nice to see you,’ I say as I pass her on the way to the fridge to get myself a bottle of water.
‘I’d say the same thing, but it really ain’t Xander Amory.’
‘I’m Lucian Sedric Amory,’ Lucian announces into the gap before I can find a suitably good comeback for Gianna, which has me lifting my eyes to Mel’s.
She smiles slowly, the smile spreading over her face like fire in a range. Which in turn burns inside me a heat that I do not want to extinguish. And just like that, I know I’m at risk of falling for her all over again.
Fuck.
‘That you are my boy. How about we watch some TV together, buddy?’ I ask, pressing a kiss to the side of his head when he agrees with a very exuberant nod.
Hand in hand we walk to the living room and settle onto the couch. “So what’s your favorite show, bud? Who is your favorite character?’
His eyes light up and he yells “Orf Orf Officers! I want to be just like Ripper the German Shepard! He’s a police and he makes sure everyone stays safe,” he proclaims proudly.
I have no idea what this show is. I do not make it my business to know children’s television, but I suppose I will now.
I ruffle his hair and chuckle. “Maybe someday you’ll be a hero like Ripper.’ I make a mental note to find this… Orf Orf Officers and figure out what it is. If my son likes it, then so shall I.
With Lucian engrossed in his beloved show, I wonder if I’d ever seen this future for myself. Even with Mel, I never pictured playful nights on the couch, seeing the world anew through a child’s eyes.
Yet with Lucian by my side, the future seems brighter, open even for a dark world like mine. I could get used to this, the two of us laughing and learning together.
A boy like Lucian who looks so like me I see a reflection of myself staring at me every day now in his gaze.
I don’t understand how I’ve slipped so perfectly into this. When my phone rings five minutes later, and I find Ryder’s name flashing on the screen, I know reality is about to intrude heavily. I leave Lucian on the couch and walk to my study.
‘You’re sliding.’ Are the first words out of his mouth. ‘And the men will notice.’
‘Am I now?’
‘You are. Your men are dead, and you worry about her first.’
‘Men are replaceable. Lucian isn’t.’ I snap at him. I recline into my chair, pushing it back from the desk. ‘Besides, I have everything covered before leaving.’
‘Yes, but you never would’ve left before.’ He says.
‘What’s the point of this conversation?’ I set my eyes blearily on the trees waving outside and decide I’m not going to like whatever he’s about to say.
‘The point is, I’ve noticed. Your siblings know. Your men will see it soon enough. And then so will the rest of the world. If they know your weakness, Xander, you damned well be certain they’ll use it against you.’
I exhale a deep, tired breath and sit up straight. ‘You’re not saying anything I don’t know.’
‘Which is why I have to repeat it. If you don’t do it for you, do it for her. They’ll kill her if they know it’ll kill you.’
‘I thought we were talking about Lucian?’
Ryder had never been known to pull his punches, and he doesn’t pull it now. ‘I’m not fucking stupid boss. And neither are you.’
And because I trust him to tell me as it is really, I ask a question that grates its way roughly out of my throat like sandpaper. ‘How bad is it?’
He pauses, and I can almost hear him thinking in the silence. ‘Bad enough, but love is love, I guess.’
Who had said a word about love?
‘You’re going too far, Ryder.’ I bark. Then I hung up the phone.
