‘For God’s sake, father, he’s only six.’ I snap, my voice exasperated.
I’ve just stepped out of the car, and the first thing I see in the driveway is Lucian on a large dirt bike, his back glinting with sweat as he rolls the kid-sized bike around the garden while father watches with a fond expression on his face.
‘Daniel had one just like it when he was six. I couldn’t resist.’
I roll my eyes and wait for Lucian to roll the bike down to me. He’s smiling so wide it makes my heart ache. But he also shouldn’t have a bike. They’re dangerous as hell.
Or maybe I’m just being protective, as always.
Daniel is watching the scene from the balcony, his hair rustling in the breeze. ‘Damned near broke my shoulder twice on that thing. He needs the experience.’
I glare at him before bending and sweeping my son into my arms. All sweaty and wiggling with joy. His blue eyes are bright like bluebells under the sun as he takes my hand and leads me over to the bike.
‘Papi said it’s a great way to learn how to drive without driving!’ He explains enthusiastically as he tows the bike up and gets on it again.
I send my dad a look of indignation, and because I can’t help myself, I tag a grim smile onto it. I ruffle Lucian’s hair and step away from him, but he rides the bike behind me back to the door.
Romero watches the scene quietly, and I try my best, as always, to ignore him. He won’t say a word to Xander, because he knows how important it is that Lucian stay secret.
He knows Lucian’s existence is to be kept away from him for as long as we can till we can’t anymore.
‘Did you do anything fun today?’ Lucian rolls the bike to me, drops it to the floor, and slips his hand into mine. He’s warm, and it chases away the sudden cold I’d felt coming back to my son on that bike.
It was a dangerous gift for a six-year-old. Although not as dangerous as coming home to Daniel with his first knife set, which I was certain Lucian would get as well. But the bike had been a prelude to the knives, and I wanted to protect my son a little while longer.
‘Uncle Daniel and I went to the zoo to see the penguins. Mommy did you know penguins give each other pebbles? We had ice cream,’ he chirps, and his voice tips even higher.
‘Then, and then, we came home to play bikes!’ His excited chatter trails me all the way to the kitchen, where I settle him into his chair at the table while I get a bottle of water from the fridge.
‘Sounds like you had fun. A lot of it.’ I pour the water into a cup for him and place it right in front of him. He pouts, his eyes so like Xander’s staring at me with a puppy dog look, and his lips thrust out at me. ‘No, you drink.’
He drops his shoulder and picks up the cup, gulping down the water and then dropping the glass to the table with a thump. ‘Can we get pizza for dinner tonight?’
‘No, Lucian. No pizza for dinner, but you can help me make some pasta.’
I enjoy cooking with Lucian in the kitchen. Father has a chef, but cooking relaxes me, a way to unwind after a long day, and after the busy day I’d had, it was imperative that I did something I enjoyed.
As I cooked, I went through the events of the day. It certainly hadn’t been a great one… more like, it had been a doozy.
For one, I’d finally crumbled and had Rosa get me a new phone. One with a tracker embedded in it. I’d held out for two days under her incessant questions until I just couldn’t take it anymore.
She’d smiled and barreled right out to the hallway and yelled at someone to get a move on with getting the phone. An hour later, a new one had arrived.
As though he had been sure I would give in, Xander had called immediately after, his number already saved as ‘Marito.’
I’d released a guttural rasp when he’d burst out laughing to my indignant question.
‘Husband?’
I could hear his smirk through the phone, it was obvious in the throaty growl which graced my ear, streaking electric sparks over my skin.
‘Soon enough.’
The memory of that sent shivers skating up my spine.
The phone was sitting in my bag now, exactly where it was that I intended it to stay for the rest of its life.
I pushed the sauce around in the pan, still thinking through the events of today. To top off the long day, Xander hadn’t shown up all day at the office.
And now, watching Lucian smiling up at me with a look so innocent in his eyes as blue as his father’s but filled with light to Xander’s bottomless pit of dark emotions, I don’t enjoy the curl of slight worry in my stomach.
It’s only been two days, but somehow, it feels like we already have a routine, and him breaking it is a betrayal.
I shake the crazy thought away and focus on Lucian, whose chestnut hair is almost falling into his eyes. I lean into his face and blow a raspberry at him. He does the same, and soon, we’re giggling together.
‘I’ll change, and then we’ll get on dinner. You go sit with Papi.’
He wavers a minute between insisting on hanging with me before nodding and scrambling off the chair, his footsteps leading him outside to Daniel and my father.
I stand alone in the kitchen with my thoughts, then walk over to the window when I hear the ring of Lucian’s laughter. He’s back on the bike, his grandfather right beside him, egging him on.
I watch them, letting my tired shoulders drop. I want to hold onto this moment for a few more years to come. I want to watch my son from this window as he grows, but I know that’s impossible already.
The engagement to Xander means sooner or later, Father won’t be able to protect Lucian anymore on this expansive estate. I will someday need to move in with my husband, and my son will do it with me—our son, because there will be no doubt to anyone who knows Xander whose son he is.
‘You look so fucking sad, Mel. I promise it’s not all that bad.’
I startle and turn back to the door. Daniel steps into the room and joins me at the window.
‘Gianna called today. She’ll be here before the week runs out. You’ll have your fighter back,’ Daniel says.
I wince and then laugh aloud. Well, he’s literally right. Gianna has been known to get into more than one scuffle, a few of them physical. I can definitely see her standing up to Xander.
I lift my hand to my hair, and the ring flashes in the late light of the setting sun. My heart constricts in my chest as though someone’s taken a piece of string and gone to work on the organ.
‘It’s like a brand, like a possession. He knows I hate red. Why get it for me?’ The words dance in the air and dissipate like mountain smoke up in the hills.
‘You’ll go crazy questioning how the man’s mind works, Mel. And we need to talk.’
