Wind whips through my hair. Baltimore crawls down below. Lights flash in buildings around us, and the harbor glitters with starlight.
I’m at the top of the world. Or at least on top of a skyscraper owned by the Brotherhood’s shell corporation.
Members of the family stand around in a loose circle. They’re dressed in black from head to toe. Most are openly carrying weapons.
Uncle Garen stands across from me in the center of the circle, his face grim. He holds out the ceremonial diamond-encrusted knife, handle-first.
“It’s a shame it came to this,” he says as I take it from him.
I’m aware of the gaps in the ring around us. It’s too loose, too wide. There are too many dead cousins and uncles, too many missing pieces.
But what’s left is strong and united now.
“Why’s that?” I grip the handle with my right hand and wrap my left hand around the blade of the knife. It’s nice and sharp. Tigran made sure of that. He’s a good brother.
“You’re going to fuck it up,” Garen promises very softly. He leans in close. “You think we fought a war for nothing? Sona’s right about you. I’m sorry, but it’s true.”
My jaw sets. I stare at my uncle and yank the knife down. Pain flares, visceral and intense. Blood wells down the wound as I hand the weapon back to him.
The left hand. The symbolism is clear: the left-hand path. The winding path of danger. It’s the path that takes us outside society. We exist beyond the norms of regular people. And the left hand symbolizes all that.
For a brief moment, I think he’s going to come at me. If he tries, there are two snipers waiting to put him down like a dog. But instead, he cuts his hand like I did.
“Blood is everything,” I say loudly for everyone to hear. The wind whips up again, blowing across the skyscraper’s roof. We’re on a massive helicopter landing pad at the peak of a building. The crown jewel of our portfolio. “Blood binds this family. It keeps our Brotherhood strong. Blood of our enemies, blood of our friends. Blood of our brothers.” I hold out my bleeding hand. “With this blood, we swear an oath before God and our peers. This war is over.”
“I swear an oath before God and our peers,” Garen says, looking resigned. “I bend the knee to Arsen Sarkissian and call him patron.”
“For blood and glory,” I say.
“Blood and glory,” the assembled men chorus.
I shake Garen’s hand. Our left hands clasp and our wounds mix together. Fucker better not have hepatitis or some shit. He grimaces at me as I squeeze tight, lancing pain up to my elbow. Let the fucker suffer too. He deserves worse.
Then I raise our hands above our heads like we’re victorious prize fighters and the assembled men cheer.
“Smile, Garen,” I say through my teeth, leaning in close to him. “The war’s over and you get your piece-of-shit wife back.”
The rest of the Brotherhood is waiting in the banquet hall down on the fourteenth floor. Everyone’s there: mothers, brothers, wives, and sisters. The whole extended Brotherhood and all our relatives. Garen disappears to his little group of friends, looking sour and annoyed, while I make the rounds, smiling and shaking hands.
Congratulations all around.
Nobody mentions dead Narek or murdered Levon, but their wives are here along with their children. They smile and nod and say all the right things.
I’ll have to watch them for a long time.
“Let me look at that.” Lena appears with Tigran. We have a brief moment together in the crowd. I stare at her, totally stunned.
She’s in a dark red dress, the color of old blood. It suits her and clings to her body, showing off her curves. I look at her pierced eyebrow and at the swell of her belly button ring, and fuck, I want her more than I’ve ever wanted her before.
She’s a goddess. She’s my wife and everything I’ve ever needed. Her bushy, curly auburn hair feels good in my fist as I pull her into me.
I’m aware of eyes watching. Let them fucking stare.
She doesn’t resist when I kiss her.
We hold that embrace. This is my woman, my wife. The future mother of my child. She’s everything to me and so much more, and so what if some people in this room hate her? So what if they only see the woman that started a war?
She’s fucking mine.
When the kiss breaks apart, she’s smiling a little bit.
“Missed me?” she asks.
“Didn’t know you were gone,” I murmur, stroking her cheek.
She pats my chest. “Sure you didn’t. Let me see that hand.”
“It’s fine.” She runs her fingers over the bandage and makes soft worried noises. “I’m happy you’re here.”
“Tigran said you’d kill me if I didn’t show up.”
“That’s a little dramatic. Maud might, though.”
She pales slightly. “I really can’t believe you use a poisoner as a cook.”
“Is that really so hard to imagine?”
“I guess that is the kind of crazy shit you’re into.”
I reach down and squeeze her ass, pulling her close. She’s blushing pink. Sometimes I forget how conservative and quiet she can be. Normally, she’s such a fucking spitfire and a huge pain. But show her some affection in public? Suddenly, she’s all squirming and embarrassed. It’s fucking adorable.
“Stay with me tonight.” I kiss her ear and bite it. She whimpers and tries to push me away, but I hold on. “Stay by my side and in my bed.”
“Arsen—”
“I know you’ve been needing your space. I understand and I’ve been giving you that. But I’m sick of it. I’m tired of missing you. Come back to me.”
“You stalked me. You lied about it.”
“You’re right. It was wrong to keep that from you. I just… I wasn’t ready to tell you. I liked watching you. I liked seeing who you are when I’m not around. You’re beautiful, Lena. You’re everything I need. I was being selfish, and I’m sorry. Come back to me. Don’t make me get down on my knees in front of everyone here.”
“Arsen,” she says, chewing her lip.
I start to kneel. “I’ll beg. I’ll fucking plead with you. I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks.” I take her hands in mine.
She yanks at me. “Get up, people are watching.”
“Let them.” I don’t move. I stare up into her eyes. “Please, baby. I miss you so much.”
Her cheeks burn and she glances around. But when her eyes meet mine, they stick there and hold my gaze for several long moments. I stare right back and she’s the only person in this room. She’s the only person in my life I truly care about.
“Get up, you idiot,” she says, softly now. “Come on.”
I slowly climb to my feet. She presses herself into me, breathes in my smell, and nuzzles up against my chest. This fucking girl.
I love her with a fire.
“I miss you too,” she says, shaking her head. “But… there’s something you need to know.”
“What’s that?”
“Go talk to Sona.”
My eyebrows raise. “Don’t tell me you’ve been visiting her.”
“Just do it, okay? Just listen to what she has to say. It’ll be hard… but you need to hear it.”
I’m not sure how to take that. What did my wretched fucking aunt tell her? Sona’s a goddamn viper and nothing she says can be trusted.
But if that’s what it’ll take, it’s a small price to pay.
Lena’s my everything. She’s my heart, my body, my soul. I’ve been aching for her since that stupid fight.
“I’ll talk to her. I have to release her tonight anyway. If she’s got something to say, she’ll say it then.”
“Thank you.” She slips her hand into mine. “Now, show me off to your family. This is your victory night, right?”
“It’s a celebration,” I agree. “And you’re my beautiful wife.”
“I don’t know about beautiful—”
“Never doubt yourself. You’re my fucking queen now.”
She stares at me and raises her chin. “Yeah, you’re right. I am your queen.”
My stomach does twists. I love that look on her. She’s regal, beautiful, and intelligent. Even though marrying her made my life very difficult for a while and led to the deaths of some of my family members, I don’t regret it, not one fucking bit.
She’s the partner I need. She’s the woman that will help steer the Brotherhood into the future.
With her by my side, I can dominate this city.
We mingle with the family. Lena’s funny and outgoing. I stick by her the whole time, never leaving her alone for more than a few minutes at most. But soon the night gets late, and it’s time to release the fucking dog.
Lena’s quiet on the car ride back to the mansion. Most of the Brotherhood is going to be celebrating long into the night, but Garen and a few of his close men are going to meet us at the front gates in a half hour to take Sona home. Lena’s not talkative, and that’s fine. She’s clearly stressed about something.
Whatever my aunt’s got to say won’t matter.
My life is finally coming together. My demons will always be there. My scars won’t fade. But I can keep moving forward now that Lena’s by my side. We’ll have our baby and we’ll have our kingdom.
That’s more than enough for me.
Lena comes with me to Sona’s room. The guards unlock the door. Sona’s waiting, sitting straight-backed on the cot, looking prim and rigid and strong.
Prideful fucking woman.
“Can we have a second?” Lena asks the guards. They look to me and I nod at them. The two men leave the room.
Sona looks angry. Her jaw works as she glares at Lena. Clearly, these women have something planned. “This is absurd. I’m not doing this.”
“Tell him.” Lena holds onto my arm then lightly pushes me forward. “Tell him now, or I’ll do it, and I bet you won’t like my version of the story.”
Sona looks like she wants to howl. She clearly despises my wife. I’m not sure what the hell is going on, but something happened between these two and it wasn’t good.
“Just speak,” I order my aunt, tired of this and aching to get Lena alone in my bed. It’s been too damn long. “Get this over with so you can leave my house forever.”
“Your house,” she sneers, lips curling. “It was my house long before you were born.”
“What do you have to say, Sona?”
My aunt fidgets, fingers gripping the edge of the cot. The hate in her eyes runs deep. I don’t remember her hating me like that when I was younger. There was a time when I liked her, when she was kind to me and went out of her way to visit and spend time with me. But all that changed as I got older.
“It was a mistake,” she snaps like she’s biting off her own hand. “I was young and stupid. Aram thought he could make it all go away, but look where we are now.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I glance at Lena, but she’s standing off to the side, hands folded in front of her.
“Boris Zeitsev.” Sona’s nose wrinkles at me with pure malice. The hateful bitch. “He’s your real father.”
Her words hit me like a car crash.
My real father?
That makes no sense. It’s like she’s gone insane. Anger replaces shock and I hold up a hand. “Whatever story you’re telling, just don’t bother. I know you’re a liar, Sona, but it’s over. Garen spoke a blood oath tonight. The war’s finished. You don’t have to make some shit up just to get free. You’re going home.”
Her face flushes with rage. That’s not how I expected her to react. “I’m not making this up, you stupid boy,” she snaps viciously. “You think this is easy for me? Bringing up all my old wounds? I had an affair with Boris Zeitsev and your father—your uncle—raised you to spare me and the family the shame. That’s the truth about you. Boris Zeitsev is your father and I’m your biological mother.”
Biological mother.
I step away from her.
My head’s pounding. It makes no fucking sense. Valentin Zeitsev is my half-brother? Aunt Sona is my actual mother?
“That can’t be true. People would know.”
“Aram was a clever man. He went to great lengths to make sure nobody found out. It’s the truth, Arsen. Whether you like it or not. Your fucking wife can prove it if you want.”
“You’re my mother?”
“By blood. Don’t get any ideas.” She gets to her feet woodenly and looks at Lena. “Happy now? He knows the truth. Let me out of here.”
Blood rushes to my skull. Blood trickles down my palm and drips onto the floor, overflowing the bandage. Garen’s blood mixed with my own. Death stained into my carpet. My father—my uncle—my mother, not my mother and this disgusting creature—
“Guards,” I croak and shove open the door. “Take her out of here.”
“Arsen?” Lena comes to me. She presses herself against my side. “Hey, Arsen, listen to me.”
Aunt Sona walks out the door and doesn’t look back.
Not even a glance for her son.
Not aunt. But also not mother.
Fuck. Fuck. It all makes sense. But it’s so goddamn sick.
This is why my father always hated me. This is why I never fit in. This is why it’s always been fucking wrong.
I’m spiraling. I can feel it happening and I can’t stop.
Not my mother. Not my aunt. Not my real family at all.
“Arsen,” Lena says more urgently. “Hey. Listen to me. You are who you are. It’s okay. Nothing’s different.”
“No,” I say, stumbling away from her. “No, fucking no.”
“Arsen!”
I stagger into the hallway, heart racing. I move fast as Lena tries to catch up. I have to get away.
I don’t know who I am or what I’m capable of anymore.
All I know is I’m wrong. I’m all wrong.
My sense of self shatters into a million pieces.
I’ve always defined myself by this family—and if they’re not really mine?
If I’m some half-Russian hybrid monstrosity?
My mother’s not my mother—my aunt’s not my aunt—my father’s not my father—
Tigran’s my cousin.
These aren’t my halls. This isn’t my house.
These aren’t even my people.
I’m not who I always thought I was.
I turn left suddenly and throw myself into a room. I slam the door shut and lock it. Lena bangs on the door and rattles the handle, trying to come in. I run to the closet and shove a hidden mechanism built into the back.
A panel slides open. The passageways yawn, black and inviting.
I throw myself inside and let the house swallow me.
