Six Months Later
I slot the pry bar under the floorboard and yank. The fucker cracks and nearly breaks, but it comes off and clatters away. Sweat dribbles down my back and I toss the wood into the scrap pile before moving to the next.
The radio plays classic rock and a bottle of beer sweats on top of the cooler. It’s a little past noon and Lena’s off trying to put Roman down for his nap. I rip up another piece of flooring, toss it aside, and pause to take a drink.
I remember getting whipped with a belt in the corner of this room. I was twelve years old. I still have the scars from it.
But lately, the memories don’t bother me very much.
They’re still painful. I don’t enjoy thinking about my abuse. But it doesn’t define me anymore. The darkness is still there—but now that darkness is mine. I own it and control it. The bad old days fade like paint left in the sun.
“Making good progress.” I look over as Sona steps into the room. She frowns, moving gingerly. “Might’ve been nice if you kept some flooring though.”
“Didn’t realize I’d have guests.”
She stares at me, arms crossed over her chest. I think she’s annoyed for a second. This was her house once, even if it’s mine now. Then her face softens and she smiles. I walk over and give her a quick peck on the cheek.
“Want a beer?”
“No, that’s okay. Unlike you, I still have work.” She leans against the wall and surveys the destroyed room. “I like it better this way.”
“Yeah? Should I leave it? Wouldn’t mind getting a break.”
“Aram would’ve lost his mind knowing you ripped his office to shreds.”
“Good.” I kick the pile of scrap floorboards. “It’s just a bunch of wood.”
“Just wood,” she agrees and brushes her fingers along the doorway’s molding. “Anyway, listen, word came down from the Russians. The deal’s been greenlit. Apparently, your half-brother is interested in becoming closer friends.”
“That’s great news.”
“Six months ago, I would’ve predicted that the Brotherhood would revolt if we did business with the Russians.”
“And now what do you say?”
She walks over to the cooler and lifts up my beer. “Hail to the patron.” She toasts me and takes a sip then wrinkles her nose. “God, light beer? What’s wrong with you, boy?”
“Didn’t have a mother figure to teach me how to act right.” I grin at her, and for a second, I think I’ve crossed a line.
But she laughs and puts the beer back down. “It’s your family now,” she remarks, heading back to the door. “It took work, but nobody disputes your control.”
“I had some competent help.”
“Yes, well, that brother of yours has been a vicious little killer, hasn’t he?”
My smile fades as I look toward the windows. “Didn’t know Tigran had it in him.”
“Don’t look so concerned. This is a cause for celebration. We’re going to get rich and the Brotherhood’s going to get stronger. All your decisions and sacrifices have paid off. Tigran’s bloody work is done.”
“You’re right.” I nod at her, even if her comment about Tigran is still bothering me. That’s a problem I can deal with in the future. “By the way, did you stop in and see Lena?”
“You think I’d miss the chance to hold your baby? Cutest kid in the world.”
And your grandchild. But that’s still unspoken. I don’t know if we’ll ever acknowledge it. That’s a wound that’ll never fully heal. Though maybe it’ll scar just enough to keep going. My relationship with my biological mother has been getting better every day.
I’m optimistic. Sona’s right—the family finally fell in line behind me. There was some struggle, but something changed around the time Roman was born. It’s like a new baby breathed some life into this place.
For the first time in my life, I’m thinking tomorrow’s going to be better than today.
Sona heads out. I finish ripping up the last few floorboards, suck down my beer, and turn off the radio. The guards nod as I walk past. I miss the days when the place wasn’t swarming with muscle, but that’s the world we’re in, and I’m not taking any chances with my wife and my child.
Their safety is my everything now.
I find them in the nursery. Lena’s still rocking Roman in her arms. A Dr. Seuss board book is half open on the floor at her feet. The little guy’s fussing and resisting his nap. She brightens when I come into the room and take him away from her.
My little son. He’s got Lena’s nose and my mouth. One day he’ll be his own man, but not for a long, long while.
“Go take a break,” I whisper, kissing her cheek as she gets to her feet.
“Are you sure?”
“I can handle naptime.”
Once she’s gone, I bounce and rock Roman. He squirms and yawns. The big guy goes down easy for bedtime, but he never wants to take his naps. Just part of who he is and who he’ll become. So much possibility in this little bundle. Too much potential to even imagine right now.
“I get it, you want to explore,” I say very quietly as his eyes flutter closed. “Just like your mother. You’ll be running around this house soon enough getting into trouble. But for now, you’re mine and you’re small, and I love you more than I ever thought I could.”
After a few more minutes, once he’s very still and just about asleep, I transfer him into the crib and shut off the light. I sneak into the hall and find Lena already waiting for me with the monitor in her hand.
She’s grinning like a maniac.
I sweep her into my arms. “Were you watching?”
“I can’t help it. Something about a big man cradling a little baby gets me all turned on.”
I bury her mouth with mine. A hungry kiss. I hold it there, tasting her. How did I get this lucky? Even now, every time we’re together, I want her like an addict. Except drugs can’t possibly taste half as good as she does.
“If you want, I can go wake Roman up and hold him some more. If that’ll help get you off.”
“I think you can handle that on your own.”
I kiss her again and we stumble into the bedroom. The sex is sweaty, hot, and fast. All the while, the drone of Roman’s noise machine plays in the background.
I shove two fingers in Lena’s mouth as I fuck her from behind, and we come in a sweaty heap.
“I hear you made some serious progress this morning,” she says, snuggling up against me. I love it when she’s post-orgasm. She’s all loopy and cute, like a satisfied cat napping in a beam of sunlight.
“Gutting it is the easy part. Now we just need to figure out what the hell we’re going to turn it into.”
“I was thinking space for Roman. You know, a bedroom and a playroom.”
“You’re going to spoil that boy.”
“Probably, but so what?”
“Yeah, yeah, baby, I know. I love how you’re a big fucking softie.” I kiss her neck and breathe in her smell. “I was thinking about the passageways too. Maybe we should deal with them while we’re renovating?”
She sits up on an elbow. “Deal with them… how?”
“Seal them off. Fill them in. We could get more space—”
“Arsen, if you get rid of the secret passageways, I’ll fucking divorce you.”
I stare at her for a beat and laugh. “You mean it too.”
“I absolutely will. The passages stay.”
“Even if that means Roman’s going to find them one day?”
“I hope he does. Him and his siblings.” She collapses back into my arms. “I don’t even want to think about getting pregnant yet, though.”
“We still have time for that.”
“No, we keep the passages and we turn that wing into a new private residence. You know, for the kids. A study, a library. Make it really nice. Maybe three bedrooms?”
“Five,” I counter, squeezing her ass. “Plenty of space for five.”
“I’ll meet you at four and reserve the right to stop after two.”
“We’ll see about that.” I kiss her shoulder and run my hand down her back. She shivers at my touch. “You really want to fill up that part of the house with kids? Your mother’s going to love that.”
“God, she’s really going to. They’re obsessed with Roman. Imagine what they’ll be like if we have more?”
That’s not hard to picture. Her parents are insane for the grandson. I pretend to complain about it, but the truth is I’m happy Roman will have more people that are crazy for him.
“Maybe a little too obsessed. Think we’ll have to make space for them too?”
“Don’t even put that out into the universe. Mom would move in here in a second just to be closer to Roman. As if she doesn’t show up whenever she wants already.” She stretches out her toes and snuggles in tighter. “Seriously. Lots of kids. What do you think?”
I close my eyes and picture a big family. It never really occurred to me before, but Roman’s such a joy. Why stop with him? Why not fill this place with laughter again? Drown out the bad memories.
Replace the ghosts with life and joy.
“I love it. And I love you.” I pull her tight against me.
Right as Roman starts fussing.
“Shit,” Lena says with a sigh. She stretches and snatches the monitor from the nightstand. “That was short. Barely got an hour.”
“I’ll get him.” I gently extract myself from her. She looks at me, beautiful and naked, as I pull on clothes.
“Are you sure?” She yawns and burrows under the covers. “I could totally get up.”
“You really look like you’re going to.” I bend down to kiss her one more time. “Stay in bed a little while. I’ll handle the kid.”
“Yes, sir, right away, sir.” She yanks the blankets over her head. “Wake me up later.”
I smile at the little lump of my wife.
Yeah, making the future better is the only way to fix the past.
I can finally make that happen.
