“Let’s walk and talk,” Cristian says after we’ve left Elio and Beatrice to put the finishing touches on the baked goods in the kitchen.
“Okay.” The grounds are huge here, and I wouldn’t mind exploring. I borrow Sabina’s coat and boots. My feet are a bit squished as she’s a size smaller than me, but I’ll manage. “I hope your sister won’t mind I’ve borrowed so much of her stuff,” I say as we head outside through a back door.
“I spoke to her earlier, and she said to take whatever you need.”
“That is kind of her.”
“Sabina’s great.” Cristian threads his fingers in mine. I’m not sure if he’s realized he’s done it. Heat warms my palm, and I get a little thrill inside just from holding hands with him. I’m truly pathetic, or maybe just starved for genuine human touch. “I think I’m going to send Elio to stay with her this week.”
“How come? And will I need to go with him?” Separation from Cristian would not be good for me. I’m already terrified of the consequences of ditching my cartel cell. As much as I want to bury my head in the sand, I know I’ll need to go to the diner tonight after we get back to the city and try to reason with Pablo and his goons. I’m not looking forward to a repeat of last week, and I feel sick to my stomach.
“It ties into what I have to tell you. As for needing to go with him, I don’t think it’ll be necessary. My parents are going to take him.”
Relief powers through me. A week alone with Cristian is perfect. “What will I do?”
“Perhaps you can plan ahead. Do some meal prep. Organize new artwork projects, and you can take it easy and maybe catch up on some sleep. I’d also like you to talk to Natalia and Sierra, if you agree. Both are family friends. Nat is a doctor and Sierra practices alternative medicine. They might have some suggestions for things you can try to fix your sleep issues.”
I cling tighter to his hand as tears prick the backs of my eyes. Cristian is so thoughtful, so caring. I honestly cannot fathom how some woman has not snapped him up yet. Cristian’s brow puckers as he stares at our conjoined hands. I expect him to pull away, but I’m pleased when he doesn’t. “Sierra already gave Elisa some essential oils for me, but if either of them has suggestions, I’m all ears. I’m sick of feeling so tired all the time.”
“Good,” he says, leading me out from the main garden and across a stone path toward a small forest. “I’ll set that up.”
“What happened yesterday, Cristian?” I ask, staring directly into his face. I want to get this secret out in the open so it’s one less thing for me to fuck up. “Your friends and family have been really nice to me and very welcoming, but there have been lots of cryptic comments, and I’m sensing there is something I don’t know. The way Isotta’s father stopped to acknowledge you and your parents during the walk up the aisle was strange. Then people were taking potshots at us, and I saw you and others run after them with guns. What is going on? What don’t I know?”
Cristian guides me over to a bench positioned just outside the small wooded area. “I’m going to level with you, Sloane, because there is no sugarcoating the truth.” He pulls me down onto the bench and turns so he’s facing me. He takes my hands in his. “Before I explain, you need to understand I am still the same guy, and you don’t need to be afraid of me.”
“I’m not afraid of you, Cristian.”
“You might be when you hear what I have to say.”
I touch his arm. “It’s not going to change how I feel.”
“About that.” His thumb rubs circles over the back of my hand as we talk, and it’s wonderfully soothing.
“Please don’t push me away again. Not after last night.”
“It would be smart to. Us starting something complicates things, but the truth is I can’t fight my feelings for you any longer.”
My heart thumps like crazy, and the goofiest smile spreads over my mouth. “I was so sure you were going to tell me it was a mistake.”
“I thought about it, but I don’t play games, Sloane, and as much as us being together concerns me for Elio, I’m done living in denial. The truth is, I’ve been attracted to you from the moment you walked into my office. I offered someone else the position over you purely to try to avoid this situation.”
“I didn’t know that.” I move in closer, and our knees touch.
“I don’t want our relationship to interfere with your job as Elio’s nanny, but I’m not sure how we separate them. But we have this week to figure it out.”
I lean in and kiss him, and I’m relieved when he kisses me back without hesitation. Cristian pulls me closer and tilts my head so he can deepen the kiss. This time is different than the frenzied kissing from last night. Cristian kisses me slowly, deeply, passionately, and thoroughly, and I get lost in him and the way he makes me feel.
When we break apart, we’re both breathless and smiling.
“You’re so beautiful.” Cristian tucks wayward pieces of my hair behind my ears. “Far too good for me, but I’m too selfish to stop this.”
I circle my arms around his neck. “I don’t want you to stop, Cristian. I want to be with you.”
“I’m too old for you, and you still don’t know everything about me.”
“Like I already said, I’m older than my years, and your age doesn’t bother me.” I run my fingers through the ends of his dark hair.
“It should,” he murmurs, closing his eyes as I toy with his hair. “Damn, that feels so good.”
“You take care of everyone, but no one takes care of you,” I softly say, pressing my brow to his. “I want to take care of you. Being with you like this feels so natural to me. I can’t imagine being with anyone else.” I speak no lie, even if he’s not aware of the full truth about me either. But my feelings for him are real. I’m not doing this because I have to—I’m doing this because I want to. Right now, I want to feel everything he’s making me feel, and I’m ignoring everything else. I can feel guilty later. For now, I’m soaking up the excited buzz thrumming throughout my body and equally giddy as the butterflies swooping through my chest.
“I don’t want to be with anyone but you,” he says, scooping me up and placing me on his lap. My arms wind tighter around his neck as we meet in another toe-curling kiss. We kiss for ages, and I’m floating on a cloud. Every nerve ending in my body is wired, and delicious knots coil low in my belly as my core tightens and spasms with every breathless kiss.
When we finally break apart, we’re both panting and flushed and grinning like fools. Cristian nuzzles into my neck. “You make me feel young again.” His arms tighten around me. “I haven’t felt like this about anyone before, Sloane, and that scares me.”
“It scares me too.” I dot kisses into his hair.
“I still haven’t told you what I came out here to tell you.”
I cup his face and tilt his head back. “So tell me. I promise I’m going nowhere.”
“I hope you mean that.” The backs of his knuckles caress my face. “Prepare yourself. This won’t be easy to hear.”
“Just tell me, Cristian,” I softly plead. “I don’t like being kept in the dark.”
He maintains eye contact and says, “I’m one of the leaders of the Italian American mafia in the US, and my family is one of the five New York families.”
I respect his bluntness, and though it’s not a surprise to me, I react appropriately, hating I must pretend. I give him my full attention as he explains it further, staring directly into my eyes and giving me a no-holds-barred account of the violence and danger he’s a part of.
“So now you know, do you want to change your mind about anything?”
I slowly shake my head. “Nope.”
His answering stare is incredulous.
“I’m not saying I’m not shocked, and obviously it’s a lot to take in, but it doesn’t change who you are to me.”
“It might when you’ve had time to process it.”
“I really don’t think so.” I brush my lips against his before resting my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest. “It makes so much sense now. All the security and bodyguards.”
“I didn’t lie when I told you we had enemies.”
I sit up straighter. “You also said your brother had made enemies. Is that who came after you last night?”
“We’re still gathering intelligence. The men were Cosa Nostra, but they could’ve been put up to it by the Mexican Cartel. My brother had made a deal with them before he died. A deal he didn’t fulfill, and now they want revenge.”
Blood rushes to my ears, and my stomach lurches painfully. “You think this cartel wants to hurt you because of something your brother did?”
“They want to hit back at all Cosa Nostra, but they have a big hard-on for the DiPietro famiglia thanks to Cruz. None of us is safe.”
A full-body shudder works its way over me. At least I’ve found out why Pablo has planted me in Cristian’s life.
“You’re scared.” His arms band tighter around me. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. I’ll protect you. I swear.”
“That’s why you wanted John Angelo to go everywhere with me.”
He nods. “It’s a precaution, and I’m glad you agreed.”
“I definitely want to learn how to use a gun.”
“I will get that organized this week too. Women in our circle know how to defend themselves. Traditionally, enemies targeted loved ones, and it continues to this day. Most all the women you will meet through me have endured kidnappings or attempted kidnappings at one time.”
My eyes widen, and prickles of fear crawl up my spine. I know exactly how that feels, and the thought that more women might get kidnapped by the cartel sends a fresh wave of terror rolling through me. Images of the women in that file flash before my eyes, and pain flays me on the inside. Is that what they did or what they’re planning? Is this more than just Cristian?
“That frightens you, and honestly, I’m glad to see it. You’ve been taking this so well, nearly too well. A healthy dose of fear is natural and welcome. It will keep you on your toes. I don’t want to scare you, and I’ll do everything in my power to protect you, but you need to always be vigilant. Like I said before, if your gut tells you something is off, trust it.”
I nod, wetting my suddenly dry lips.
“Have you changed your mind now?” Cristian calmly asks.
I shake my head. “No, Cristian. I’m definitely scared, but it’ll take a lot more than that for me to walk away from you and Elio. I will learn to protect myself, and I’ll be more observant, and if anything seems strange, I’ll tell you immediately.”
“You are truly remarkable, Sloane.” Pride and something deeper shine behind his eyes as he takes my hands to his lips and kisses my fingers. “I’m more than a little smitten.”
I beam at him. “That’s good because I’m more than a little smitten too.”
We meet in a soft, slow, sumptuous kiss, and I melt against him, feeling safe and protected despite the precariousness of my situation.
We smile at one another when we break the kiss. “We need to make tracks,” he says, looking apologetic as he traces my lower lip with his thumb. His eyes blaze with heat, and I’m sure mine look the same. “If you need time to think about everything, I can organize some of my men to take you back to the penthouse, and Elio and I can go to Sunday lunch alone.”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” I tease, running my fingers along the back of his neck. “I’m excited to meet more of your friends, and I don’t want to go back to the penthouse alone.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.” Reluctantly, I climb off his lap and extend my hand. “Let’s go get your son.”
Cristian bundles me into a hug. “I’m so grateful you came into our lives, Sloane.”
A messy ball of emotion clogs my throat, and I wrap my arms around him as I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to ward off the wave of guilt threatening to engulf me. “I’m the lucky one,” I whisper.
He tips my chin back. “Until we’ve talked more, we need to keep this under wraps. Especially around Elio.”
“I understand,” I say, shucking out of his embrace.
He folds his hand around mine as we start the walk back to the house. “But know this much, Sloane.” His gorgeous green eyes bore into mine with an obsessive intensity that sends shivers of desire racing through me. “As soon as we have it all worked out, I will be shouting about you from the rooftops because you’re mine, and I want everyone to know it.”
