LEO
After getting showered and dressed, I walk through my bedroom and open the door.
Haven’s on her way to the stairs, but she stops to glance over her shoulder.
When I lock my door, she asks, “Why do you always lock it? Scared I’ll snoop?”
“I have weapons in my bedroom and don’t want to risk you killing me,” I answer truthfully, even though I now know Haven wouldn’t hurt a fly.
“That’s wise of you,” she teases me as she turns around and comes toward me. “Can I see what your bedroom looks like? I’m nosy.”
I let out a chuckle as I unlock the door again. I push it open and gesture for her to step inside. “Careful, though. I might not let you out again.”
“Hmm…” She gives me a seductive look as she moves past me, making me harden at the speed of light.
Now that I’ve seen her naked and tasted her pussy, it’s a constant battle not to throw her down and fuck her raw.
But I’m also loving the torture. It’s become an addiction.
When Haven sees the glass cabinets covering the entire left wall of my bedroom, her eyes widen at all the weapons.
“Holy crap, Leo!” she gasps. “That’s a lot of guns.”
I tuck my keys into my pocket and watch as she moves past my bed.
The image of her naked and sprawled out on the black covers flashes through my mind, and I have to adjust my hard-as-fuck cock into a more comfortable position.
Haven slowly walks closer to the podium with the glass box containing Carina’s stuffed unicorn.
She stares at it for a long moment, then asks, “Why do you have a stuffed toy on a podium?”
Even though I hate talking about my past, I reply, “It belonged to a little girl who meant the world to me.” Haven glances at me as I add, “I lost her.”
“I’m sorry. You must’ve loved her a lot to have kept her toy.”
“So much,” I whisper. “I’ll love her until my dying breath.”
“Was she your sister?” she asks.
I shake my head. “She was my best friend’s sister.”
Haven looks at the glass box again. “As a kid, I loved unicorns. That’s where my love for horses started.”
She lifts her hand to the glass, and I almost snap at her not to touch it, but bite the words back, even though every muscle in my body tenses.
“I think I had one like this,” she murmurs. “But the colors were brighter and not so faded.” She glances at me from over her shoulder. “What are the brown marks?”
“Blood.”
Haven’s features tighten, but I can’t place the expression on her face as she glances around the rest of my bedroom. Her eyes land on the framed photo on my bedside table, and as she walks closer to it, a frown forms on her forehead.
When she picks it up, her hand starts to tremble, her face drawing tight with shock and pain.
I move closer to her. “Haven?”
“Why do you have a photo of me?” The blood drains from her face, leaving her deathly pale. “Oh God. I thought I was dreaming of you because of all the crap, but I think they were memories.”
The shock of her words hits me so hard, a powerful tremor shudders through my body, my voice a mere rasp as I whisper, “What did you just say?”
Haven’s features start to crumble as her eyes slowly move from the photo to me. “I think you’re the teenage boy from my nightmares.”
I’m stunned out of my fucking mind for way too long as I stare at Haven, unable to process what’s happening.
Suddenly, she rushes toward me and starts to unbutton my shirt. She shoves the fabric off my shoulders, her eyes locking on the scar left by the bullet I took to my chest. She darts behind me, and I feel her fingers brush over the other scar. “It was you! You were there that night!”
My breathing speeds up too fast, and my head spins.
“Carina,” I groan, seventeen years of guilt filling the air between us.
She comes around my side again and looks up at me with shock and heartache, her eyebrows drawn together.
Our gazes lock, and I struggle to process that Haven is Carina.
Slowly, I lift my hand and brush my fingertips over her left cheek. “Stellina mia?”
“You called me that in my dreams.” Tears escape her eyes. “What happened that night? I don’t remember much. Other than you throwing me on the floor and falling on top of me before a monster carries me away. That, and my mother lying dead in a hallway.”
I’m hit with another wave of shock, this one so fucking intense, it makes me stagger backward before my legs go numb and I drop to my knees. My hands fall limply on my thighs.
The door slams open, and not thinking, I grab Carina and toss her over me so she lands on the floor at the side of the bed.
Just as I sit up, one gunshot after the other fills the room with flashes before the light is switched on. At the same time, I roll off the bed, falling over Carina, my mind racing to process that we’re being attacked.
“L-Leo,” Carina hic-cups with terror darkening her eyes.
Just as I’m about to react, a bullet slams into my back, the pain more intense than anything I’ve ever felt.
“Leo!” Carina screams, her hand grabbing my shirt as I fall over her.
My eyes lock with her frightened ones. “Shh.”
I’m grabbed by the arm and hauled off of her. As I stagger backward, I watch in horror as a man grabs Carina.
“No!” I shout, then another bullet hits me in the chest. As I fall onto my back, I can’t do anything but watch as the man carries her out of the room.
The pain and guilt of seventeen fucking long years tears through me, the force so destructive, I let out a hoarse cry.
The last time I shed a tear was when I was standing in front of the Messinas’ graves. It was right after I cleared out their house and put everything in storage.
The house was a rental, and I didn’t want a single thing thrown away.
After that, I searched for Carina every chance I got, but she just vanished.
Until now.
I lift my eyes to her as a tear rolls down my cheek. “I couldn’t find you.” I shake my head. “I couldn’t find you because they changed your fucking name.” I keep gasping, unable to get air into my lungs.
Haven kneels in front of me. She lifts her hand to my jaw, and with tears streaming down her face, she says, “You need to breathe.”
It feels as if my chest is being torn open. My vision darkens around the edges, but then Haven moves closer, and she gives me a panicked look. “God, Leo. Breathe!”
When I inhale, it sounds desperate, as if I’ve been stuck in perpetual darkness for seventeen years, and I’m finally able to take a deep breath.
“Carina,” I whimper, before my arms shoot out and I grab hold of her. I squash her against me, my body convulsing as if I’m being electrocuted. Unable to control my chaotic emotions, a sob escapes from me while I press kisses to her hair. Sorrow is raw in my voice as I say, “I thought I’d never see you again.” Another painful groan is torn from me. “I thought I lost you.”
I have no idea how long I cling to her before I’m able to regain some control. Pushing her back, I lift my hands to her face. I take in every inch of her as if I’m seeing her for the first time.
Then the questions come hard and fast. “Were you adopted?”
She nods.
Remembering what she told me on our first date, I say, “That’s why you had to learn English and were homeschooled. The Romanos fucking hid you from me.”
I’m bombarded with memories and thoughts.
“I can’t remember much of my early childhood.” Haven leans back and picks up the photo from where she dropped it before she unbuttoned my shirt. She looks at it again, then asks, “Is the other boy my brother?”
“Diego.”
I watch as she tries to remember, but then she shakes her head. “Everything is black before that night.”
“You were only six,” I say, overcome with sorrow that she’s forgotten her biological family.
Her eyes flit back to me. “What happened?”
Needing to hold her, I pull her back to my chest. “I was spending the night, and my father’s enemies came to kill me.” The words make bile burn up my throat. “During the attack, your parents and Diego were killed. I took two bullets and couldn’t do shit when they grabbed you.” The unbearable guilt I’ve had to live with becomes too much, and I cry, “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Haven brushes her hand up and down my back, trying to comfort me.
Carina’s bottom lip juts out again. “I don’t like when he hurts you.” Once again, she climbs out from under the covers. Her arms circle my neck, and she squeezes me tightly. “You can live here with us because I love you and I’ll never hurt you.”
I wrap my arms around her tiny body and soak in the comfort she’s giving me.
“I love you too, stellina mia.”
The memory has me holding her tighter, and I take a few minutes to let it sink in that I have Carina in my arms.
When some clarity starts to return to my mind, I push her backward and lock eyes with her. Needing to make dead sure she’s Carina, I ask, “When is your birthday?”
“June nineteenth.”
The same day as Carina.
“What do you remember of that night?” I ask.
Haven shakes her head. “You falling over me. Gunshots.” She lowers her gaze to my chest and brushes her fingers over the scar. “I remember being picked up while you were shot. I was carried out of the room.” She closes her eyes, and I can see she’s trying to remember more. “I think my brother was lying on the bed? My mother was face down on the carpet in the hallway?”
That’s exactly how things were.
There’s no doubt in my mind she’s Carina.
“What happened afterward?” I ask the question that’s been torturing me for close to two decades.
“I think I remember men standing around me, their voices angry. I was terrified and kept crying.”
I frame her cheeks, and it has her opening her eyes.
“And then?” I whisper.
“I don’t remember anything after that.” Her gaze locks with mine. “My earliest memory after the attack is of my dad teaching me English.”
“Your dad?” I growl, unspeakable rage shooting through me like a missile hellbent on destroying the entire fucking world. “He wasn’t your father! Your real dad was killed, and the Romanos kidnapped you. I’m going to fucking rip every last one of them apart with my bare hands.”
“Leo,” she whimpers, quickly pulling away from me and moving backward. “You’re scaring me.”
Now that I finally have her, I can’t stand any distance between us.
I dart forward and grab hold of her again, locking her to my chest with all my strength.
No one will ever take her from me again.
“Leo,” she sobs as she presses her hands against my sides. “You’re hurting me.”
Just as quickly as I grabbed her, I let her go. I move backward until I hit the doorjamb. My hand slaps against my heart, right over the tattoo.
I gasp for air as I try to find a way to calm down, but there are too many emotions.
Overwhelming relief, destructive rage, and a frantic need to never let her out of my sight.
It takes a few minutes before I calm down enough to think straight again. “Sorry. I’m struggling to process everything.”
“I understand,” she whispers before she crawls closer. She comes to sit beside me and leans back against the wall. “Let’s take a moment to catch our bearings.”
“My bearings are fucked,” I mutter before letting out a sound that’s something between a sob and a chuckle. Suddenly, another thought hits, and it flays my soul raw. “Cazzo.” I climb to my feet and stagger away from Haven. “Gesù Cristo!”
“Leo?” I hear her come after me, and it has me breaking out in a run. Halfway down the stairs, I grab hold of the banister and fling my body over the side.
“Leo!” Haven’s scream echoes through the mansion.
I land on my feet and dart forward again. When I run out onto the veranda, I keep going, my shirt flapping around me.
My breaths saw over my lips, and as the crippling thought digs its claws into me, I come to a stop, a shout tearing from my chest.
I destroyed her life twice.
First, her family was killed because of me, then I ripped her away from the life she managed to build from the ashes.
I fucking forced her to marry me.
Every tear I’ve made her cry, every time I’ve caused her to flinch, every terrified look I’ve seen in her eyes, rip my soul to shreds.
