As I climb the steps toward the police station, I contemplate running.
Would Cormac catch me? Or that other angry man who shoved the bugs into my hand? Would they catch me and kill me or would they let me vanish among the crowds?
I know the answer as I reach the door and feel the weight of their eyes on me from wherever they parked the car. I might be away from them, but I’m certainly not free.
As I head inside, my mind whirs.
I should tell the detective what’s happening, get her to help me and save me from them so I can go back home and return to my boring, regular life. That’s what the cops are for, right? To help people in any kind of situation.
I decide I’ll ask her for help as I’m speaking to the desk sergeant about Detective Gogs. He takes me to her office and sits me down, telling me that she’s busy in interrogation right now but will be with me shortly. When he leaves, he closes the door, and a soft silence falls around me like a warm blanket.
The past two days have been insane and for the first time since I walked into that bathroom, I feel like I can breathe properly. I’m alone. The soft hum of conversation and ringing phones from outside Sarah’s office drift through the air, warming me with a distant presence that’s far enough away to keep me at peace. I focus on my breathing and pick at a loose thread on my jeans, feeling the tightness in my chest relax and expand.
I’m exhausted. And confused. For whatever reason, the strange spark that passed between me and Cormac in his lounge lingers in my mind like some kind of alert.
He’s a dangerous man who kidnapped me and tied me to a chair, then threatened me with a gun in my face. So why can’t I stop thinking about him? About the way his hand wrapped around my throat and lifted me like I weighed nothing, about the way his eyes melted from angry to apologetic in just a flash, and how warm his arm was under my fingertips.
It has to be some kind of adrenaline-based reaction, right? There’s no way I should be lingering on a man who threatened me and is forcing me to plant bugs inside a police station.
Footsteps draw closer outside and I open my eyes, but whoever it was merely passes by and I’m left alone with my turbulent thoughts.
And the bugs.
Despite their size, the ridges go through my pocket and burn into my thigh, threatening to set me ablaze if I don’t do something about them soon. My heart begins to race when I slip my hand into my pocket and remove the largest bug. That man, Cian I think his name was, demanded I place this as near Sarah’s computer as possible. Scanning her desk, there’s not much for me to work with. It’s incredibly neat, with folders and papers lined up with the edge of the desk, a mug centered on a coaster, and dust covers over her keyboard and monitor.
My only option is the small succulent tucked just behind her monitor, to the left of her desk phone. Sarah’s desk is so tidy that she’ll surely notice if I touch anything, but I have no choice and my window for success is rapidly closing.
Rising from my chair, I lean over her desk and place the small square bug into the succulent’s soil. My fingers tremble, so I grit my teeth, frowning as I use all my focus to press the little piece of plastic as deep into the soil as I can without disturbing it. Luckily, the bug blends in well, and I’m able to cover the small hole with a few brushes of dirt.
My ass is barely back in the hard plastic chair when the door swings open and Sarah strides in with a cup of coffee in hand, sending my heart racing wildly and my gut to punch down to my core.
Holy shit.
A second longer and I would have been discovered.
“Evelyn!” Sarah’s brow shoots to her hairline. “Is everything alright?” She closes the door and moves around her desk, taking a seat while never once taking her eyes off me.
Out of the corner of my eye, the succulent blares like a beacon and I fight not to glance at it, as if a single look will cause the secret to spill out and I’ll end up arrested.
“I, uhm…” My voice trembles as violently as my hands. Clutching them together until my knuckles ache, I clear my throat and try again. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The body, I mean. And I just… I don’t know, I have no one to talk to, and I thought I would go crazy if I just stayed in my apartment, so I came here.”
As lame excuses go, it’s pretty shitty, but luckily, I look as shitty as I feel and Sarah buys it. Her eyes soften and she nods, shrugging off her blazer and placing her mobile on the desk next to her keyboard.
“I understand. You’ve experienced something incredibly traumatic and it will take you a long time to heal. I can put you in touch with a therapist who can help you talk through a few things.”
“I can’t afford a therapist.” I laugh dryly, amused by the fact that I’m still experiencing something traumatic. “I actually…”
I pause, and Sarah stares at me intently as she pours her coffee from the paper cup in her hand to the porcelain one on her desk.
This is my chance.
I should tell her the truth.
My lips part, and I expect Cormac to come crashing in through the window, as if he can tell what I’m about to say.
I need to tell her about him. About what happened to me last night and the threats on my life. But for some reason, the words don’t come. They linger in my throat like hands, clawing their way back down into my gut instead of out into the open air where they belong.
“Evelyn?” Sarah prompts. Scrunching up the paper cup, she tosses it into a wastebasket that’s out of sight under her desk. “Is everything alright?”
I want to tell her and yet I can’t. Cormac’s face bursts into my mind, mostly his look from earlier when he seemed so openly surprised that I would offer my sympathies. All he wants is to find out who killed his brother, and he’s going to extreme lengths to do just that.
I can’t imagine anyone loving me that deeply.
“Yes,” I say weakly, and a sickly warmth flushes down the back of my neck. “I’m just very… tired. Actually, is there a chance I could get some water?” I pat my throat. “I’m so hot.”
“Of course.” Sarah stands quickly. “I’ll be right back.”
She hurries from the office, and I gasp desperately as if I’d been holding my breath the entire time. Sweat breaks out across my forehead and the floor sways slightly. I’m tired, thirsty, and haven’t eaten since yesterday’s breakfast.
Can you die from stress? My heart hasn’t stopped pounding since I found the body and even now, it races up a gear when a light buzzing me alerts me to the fact that Sarah left her phone on the desk.
Exactly where Cian wants me to plant the other bug.
On the drive over, he explained that the smaller bug had to be placed next to the SIM card in her phone and that it was small enough to be undetectable.
I can’t do it.
Fuck.
Come on, Evelyn. Do this, then go home. Do it.
Glancing over my shoulder to make sure the door is still closed, I snatch her phone up from the desk and pop the cute corgi phone cover off. Popping out the SIM card, my trembling fingers fuck up slipping the bug into place. My vision begins to blur from the strain of focusing on something so small, but eventually, it slides into place and I shove the SIM card back into her phone. As I pop the case back over, sweat drips from my forehead and lands on the screen so I have to wipe it away quickly. Then I set her phone back on the desk.
Or I try to.
I’d snatched it up quickly, and now can’t remember exactly where it was sitting. She’s sure to notice that it’s moved, right? Everything about her office is so pristine. I bet she can tell when one of the keyboard keys has an extra layer of dust.
Tension snaps behind my eyes and a powerful ache spreads through my skull. It throbs in time to my pounding heart, and I set her phone back down where I roughly estimate it to have been. Once again, I’ve only just sat down when Sarah returns with a clear plastic cup of water. Her eyes widen as she hands it to me.
“Evelyn, what’s the matter? Are you alright?”
“Yes, yes I’m fine, I just—” My hands tremble violently as I accept the cup and it slips from my grasp, bouncing on my knee and sending water over me and the wiry gray carpet below. “Shit, I’m so sorry!”
“Evelyn—”
“I’m sorry!” Lurching forward, I try my best to catch the cup, but by the time I do, the contents are soaked into me and the carpet. “I’m so, so sorry!” Flustered, I set the cup on the desk, knock it over, and then try to set it upright. On my third attempt, Sarah catches my hand and forces me still with her other hand on my shoulder.
“Evelyn. Take a breath for me, okay? It’s just water.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, unable to look her in the eye. “Is there a bathroom nearby?”
“Down the hall and the third on the left,” she says, squeezing my hand. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, fine. I just need to…” Without finishing my sentence, I lurch from the seat and sprint from her office, not stopping until I make it to the bathroom. Inside, the cool air against my skin is like the first bite of frost on a winter’s morning, and it’s as soothing as the sharp, cold water I splash on my face to try to calm myself down.
I almost fucked that up. What I’ve just done is surely illegal, and I don’t know how much jail time you get for bugging a police station, but it’s bound to be insane. And I did it for a strange man I don’t even know.
Fuck.
Who the hell is that guy? Why me? Why did it have to be me who found his brother and not the night shift?
Clutching the cold sink, I stare into my dark reflection. My cheeks flush crimson, a stark contrast to how pale my skin has become, so it looks like I’ve been slapped across the face. My hair is a mess and my lips are pale, hanging open as I pant for air.
Nausea twists through me and an aching cramp follows, shooting through my gut like a punch. I spin around and fall to my knees in front of the toilet as my abdomen cramps. Gagging over the toilet brings nothing but another painful cramp through my gut, and I almost want to throw up if only so I can experience the relief afterward.
But there’s nothing. I’m hollow.
I gag a few more times before the sensation passes and then I slump onto the cold tile floor, breathing heavily with tears building in my eyes.
What the hell is my life turning into?
I briefly close my eyes, but as soon as I do, all I see is the gaping wound across the throat of the body in the bath, so I snap them open again and force myself to my feet.
“You should have told her,” I murmur to myself in the mirror. “Idiot.”
I did it. Now I just have to get outside and hope Cormac will stay true to his word and let me go. Then I’m going home.
Or to see my mom. I’m not sure.
Splashing one more handful of water on my face, I quickly dry my hands and head out of the bathroom, only to run directly into Sarah who stands outside with her brows pulled low.
“Evelyn, are you alright?”
I nod, pushing some damp strands of hair away from my face. “I’m fine. Honest. Think I’m just really stressed, y’know? I think I’m going to go home.”
“Are you sure?” Her look turns quizzical and she looks me over once, then sighs. “I wanted to let you know something. The body that you found? We identified him.”
“Oh?” I say as casually as I can muster while my heart attempts to break free of my ribcage.
“Brenden Gifford. He was a very dangerous man, Evelyn. Neck deep in the Mafia.”
All the blood rushes from my head, and an unsettling cool sensation grips my shoulders. “The Mafia?”
“Mmhmm. He and anyone associated with him are extremely dangerous, do you understand what I’m saying?”
I nod slowly.
“Has anyone contacted you, Evelyn? Anyone you don’t know? If someone threatens you or makes demands of you in any capacity, then you have to let me know. Do you understand?”
I need to get out of here.
Nodding slowly, I lightly grip her arm as I move past her. “I understand. If that happens, I will definitely be in touch. Goodbye.”
The Mafia.
Cormac is in the Mafia? No wonder he and his siblings were unfazed about asking me to bug the police station. It hadn’t even crossed my mind until now how relaxed they had been.
Each step feels sluggish. It’s like my knees aren’t quite listening to the rest of my body so I have to use the wall for support as my mind races. First a dead body, then threats on my life that had me offering up my very limited life savings, and now I find out that this is all because of some Mafia net I’ve landed in.
It’s the last overwhelming straw and as I step outside, warm air washes over my face and floods my lungs. I try to move forward but for some reason, the ground isn’t there to meet me.
There’s nothing but a dark abyss that I immediately fall into.
