What the fuck is wrong with me? I have been staring at myself in the mirror for the past five minutes, debating whether this is the right shirt to wear this evening. It’s a black button-up. My normal. There is nothing to debate, but I find myself wondering what Tova will think.
Checking my watch, I know I need to get downstairs before my mom comes searching for me. I have been doing my best to avoid her since she arrived yesterday. I’ve been in a pissed-off mood after my encounter with Tova a few days ago. It is all that has dominated my thoughts.
Usually, being around people is the last fucking thing I want to do. All of the niceties, dressing up, and socializing. The thought alone would usually have me steering clear of this entire situation. But this unfortunately comes with the territory. It’s the road that needs to be traveled in order for me to take over for my father and push our family business in a new direction.
No matter how many times I try to convince myself that I’ve been staring in this mirror, trying to look perfect for business reasons, I know deep down inside it’s for my little mouse. There’s a spark of excitement in me that only she can ignite. That only grew more with the way she defied me at the pond the other day. The mere thought has me reaching down to adjust my cock.
I’ve been hard since my encounter with her. Since I felt the softness of her hair pass through my fingertips and how her pillowy lips set in a hard line to defy me.
The last few nights I’ve jerked my cock more than I’m willing to admit, picturing my hands entangled in her hair as she wrapped those pillows around my cock, her delicate hand stroking it. Those gorgeous eyes of hers looking up at me as she took me inch by inch, deep into her throat. Fuck. I need to focus or I’m never going to leave this room.
Tova may not want to marry me, but she’s mine regardless. Her destiny was set in stone long before my father ever devised this marriage plan. From the moment I laid eyes on her, she’s been mine. I thought of her that way even when I was sure I could never have her.
I can’t say I blame her. The man staring back at me doesn’t scream the marriage type. My size alone is intimidating. My broody mood doesn’t help. Then there are the tattoos that cover most of my upper body. I decide to keep the top button of my shirt undone. I refuse to fully hide who I am, especially from her. My little mouse needs to know exactly what she is getting herself into.
“War!” My mom greets me as I enter the parlor. The only time this room is ever used is for events like this one. When it’s only family, we are far more casual, often not even using the dining room for dinner. We all gather in the kitchen for the most part.
“Mom.” I give her a curt nod. “You look lovely this evening.”
“Oh hush.” Mom rolls her eyes. “Lean down here.” I do as I’m told so my mom can place a kiss on each of my cheeks.
Mom has always been the affectionate type. I can’t recall a time when I was completely comfortable with it. It never felt natural to me. I’m different from the rest of my family. I understood that from a young age. I simply process things differently and might be missing a few key parts upstairs, but it’s never been a problem before.
“Come and say hello to everyone.” There are a handful of guests here from other high-ranking families. I make my rounds, greeting everyone. My eyes keep lingering toward the doorway as I pretend to sip on my scotch. Where the hell is she?
Her parents are here already. Mom told me she’d invited them early to have drinks. Tova’s mother Becca continues to stare at me when she thinks no one is watching. The woman wants me dead. She’ll have to get in line.
“Are you avoiding the parents?” Ronan comes to stand beside me. “The in-laws.” He shakes his head. They will be my in-laws. Ronan cocks his head toward me, waiting for an answer that won’t be coming because once he asked the question, I realized he was right. I was avoiding them.
“Not sure how to deal with them yet,” I admit to my brother. The only person that I would. The only person I have ever avoided is Tova, and I did a shit job of that. I knew when she entered the house. I had an alert set. That way I could pass by her and get my daily fix. One I haven’t gotten in days.
“Because you want them to like you?” Ronan asks.
“I could give a shit less if they like me.” I take a sip of my drink.
What I care about is my soon-to-be wife. I’m guessing she is going to want me to be on good terms with them. I know she is close to her parents. That had been key when I’d moved her parents here to the property. I knew she’d be with them.
“You give a shit if your wife likes you?”
I grunt a response. I care far too much, but no one else needs to know that.
“Is she avoiding you?” Ronan makes a show to look around. If Tova was here, you’d know. You can’t miss her.
“Yes.” The one word comes out short and hard. This evening would be a lot easier if she was here. At least I could watch her.
With each second that ticks by and Tova doesn’t show, my irritation is growing. So does my worry, but I know there is no chance she snuck out. She is still on these grounds. In fact, Tova should still be in her home.
“I’m surprised you’re finally getting married.” Cora tilts her head up toward me. She is the daughter of Leo. Leo has already married off his two other daughters. Cora is the last one standing. I’ve heard there have been fights over her. Her father appears to be holding out. I honestly don’t understand it.
A strong floral smell comes from her, making a dull headache start to form. Tova always smells of wildflowers and sunshine. That floral smell is addicting. I’m not sure what’s wrong with Cora’s scent. It’s probably artificial, much like the rest of her.
“It was time,” I respond, keeping my answer short to discourage further conversation. Cora shifts closer to me.
‘It would have been nice to know you were searching for a wife.’
‘I wasn’t searching.’ I had no intention of marrying. It was twofold. I’d long ago resolved myself to my obsession with Tova. There has never been an attraction or sexual desire toward another woman. I’ve never had it. It’s why I knew I was so different from everyone else.
I could see the lust in some of my men’s eyes when at a club or when business called for us to go to a strip club. I saw it more so at the brothel. The men would fall all over themselves with their need.
It used to piss me off that they could be so weak-willed for an orgasm. A thing you could handle yourself if need be. I didn’t understand. That was until Tova. She has this strange hold over me that is unbreakable.
‘Oh, you just had your father pick? My father wasn’t aware. You know—’
‘Don’t.’ I cut her off when she brings her hand up to touch my shoulder. It stops a few inches from me. ‘Cora, listen very carefully to me.’ I lean down so no one else can hear me. ‘Do not come into my home and disrespect my fiancée.’ I let the coldness bleed into my words. ‘I don’t care who your daddy is.’ Cora swallows audibly.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispers.
I nod in response and step around her. My patience is now gone. I make my way toward the Sullivans. Everyone stops speaking when I reach them.
‘Where is my fiancée?’ I ask. My words come out harsher than I intend, but I’m tired of waiting. I need to see Tova. She’s my drug, and I need my hit. I’ve been jonesing to be near her.
‘I’ll go check on her. She can be—”
‘I’ll go.’ I don’t wait for the protest I know is coming. I leave the room, making my way toward the back of the house and out the patio.
When I get to her family’s house, I don’t bother knocking. The sensor lock on the door opens for me, as all doors do on my property.
I don’t have to guess which room is Tova’s. I turn the knob slowly, opening the door to see her asleep on her bed. Her dark hair is spread out all around her in rich, thick waves. I walk to the side of the bed and stare down at her.
Her angelic face is so damn innocent. I don’t want that to be taken from her. No matter how much I clean up our family’s dealings, it will never be enough to match her.
An e-reader is lying beside her. When I pick it up, curiosity gets the best of me. What the fuck is she reading? I flip to the next page, reading in great detail about a girl giving her boss a blow job under his desk. However cliché the details it goes into are.
“Hey.” The e-reader is ripped from my hand. “That’s private.” She holds it tight to her chest. “You don’t just read a girl’s Kindle.”
“Don’t want your future husband to see the dick sucking you’re reading about?” Tova’s mouth falls open, making my mind flash to her under my desk with her mouth ready for me. I hadn’t meant to be so crude with her, but I find I’m jealous. Yes, that is the correct word.
It is, after all, an emotion only she can elicit from me. Along with so many others.
