“I got to love you Izzy, it’s okay baby. You’ll be okay,” Luca says on a broken whisper and my world crashes down around me. I can’t fucking lose him.
I can’t take the peace that washes over his face.
He thinks he’s dying. He can’t die on me.
I can’t fucking do this life without him.
“I love you Luca, you’re not fucking dying on me, please,” I sob as he closes his eyes and I push down harder on his wound, trying to stop the never-ending stream of blood escaping him. “I can’t lose you, open your eyes Luca.”
My cries fall on deaf ears as he passes out from blood loss. I thought I knew pain; I thought I knew loss, but nothing could ever prepare me for the fucking hole in my heart as the other half me lays unconscious and bleeding on the floor.
“The EMT’s are here ma’am,” one of the waitresses says to me but I don’t acknowledge her, focusing on Luca instead. Everything passes in a blur as the EMT’s arrive, they have to force me out of the way so they can secure Luca on a stretcher and load him into the back of an ambulance, one of the staff members passes me my bag as I climb in the back beside him, and I realize I need to call the family.
I pull up my father-in-law’s contact and dial.
“Hello?” He answers instantly and I whimper, unable to find my voice and say the words aloud.
“Sweetheart? Are you okay? What’s going on?” he asks, his voice a deep rumble—concern evident in his tone.
“You need to meet us at the hospital,” I cry as the paramedic continues working to stop Luca’s bleeding while I keep a tight grip on his hand as if he’s my lifeline. Hell, he is my fucking lifeline.
“What happened?”
“Luca… h-he was shot,” I whisper and my voice breaks as a sob tears its way up from my fucking soul.
“We’ll meet you there, we’re on our way, Izzy. You’re not alone.”
If only that was true.
Five hours.
Five fucking hours Luca has been in surgery, and we still haven’t had any updates.
Five hours I’ve been sitting on the floor of the waiting room, arms wrapped around my legs as I cry into my arms, praying to a lord that I don’t believe in to bring him back to me.
Five hours of Enzo pacing the room and threatening every hospital staff member that he’ll gut them if Luca doesn’t make it out alive.
Five hours of Salvatore murmuring to himself in the corner.
Five hours of Marco stood as still as a statue beside me, as if he’s afraid to let me out of his sight. He’s as stoic as ever, but I can tell he’s worried by the way he keeps clenching his fists. I think he’s attached himself to me because Luca would kill him if he didn’t keep watch over me.
“Romano Family?” a voice announces, and my head snaps up so fast I probably give myself whiplash.
We all stand and turn to the doctor who’s standing in front of us. I can’t tell from his facial expression whether it’s good news or bad news. There’s not an ounce of emotion on his face as he glances between the three men before his gaze lands on me.
“Mr. Romano was extremely lucky. The bullet didn’t hit any major organs, it took some time to locate the source of bleeding, but we managed to patch him just fine. He’s being transferred to the ICU, you should be able to visit him in an hour or so,” he says, and we collectively let out a sigh of relief as the tension trains from my shoulders.
“Thank you,” I breathe before taking a seat in one of the chairs and hanging my head, letting myself take a relaxing breath for the first time in hours.
I see two pairs of Italian leather shoes step in front of me from my peripheral vision and tilt my head up to see Salvatore and Marco staring down at me.
“Can you come with us please, Izzy? We’d like to talk to you,” Salvatore asks, and I swallow before giving him a jerky nod.
I stand and follow as Marco leads us into an empty room adjacent to the waiting room. I’m pretty sure this is the room the staff use when they need to give family members bad news. I take a seat at the table as Marco and Salvatore take a seat opposite me.
Fuck, why do I feel like I’m about to be interrogated?
There’s a tense silence as I look between them both before my father-in-law finally speaks up. “We need to apologize to you Izzy, you’ve been nothing but loyal to our family since you’ve joined it, and we should have stood by you rather than against you. We know you’re planning on leaving Luca, but we want you to know that you’ll always be a part of our family.” I give him a tight nod, ready to refute his claims but Marco peaks up before I get the chance.
“I’m sorry I ever doubted you, Izzy. I should have listened to Enzo. I’ll be here if you ever need anything, and I won’t tell my brother if you ask me not to,” he claims, and my lips tip up in a small smile.
“I saw what was on the thumb drive you received, it did seem bad, and I don’t blame any of you for coming to the wrong conclusions,” I say and shake my head. “I’m not leaving Luca either,” I announce.
Both of their brows furrow in confusion before Marco says, “you were ready to divorce him this morning.”
“Oh, I still plan on divorcing him.” I flash him a grin and his brow furrows even further while Salvatore sends me a knowing look and nods at me before standing and rounding the table, he rests his hand on my shoulder and gives me a squeeze before leaving the room. I watch his retreating form until he’s out of sight before turning back around and facing Marco who still sits in front of me.
“Whoever she is Marco, if you ever find her again, hold onto her.” His dark brows jumped up to his hairline; he clearly wasn’t expecting the conversation to go in this direction. “I recognize that look you have when you think no one is watching, I recognize it because it’s the same feeling I’ve felt these past few days. Find her. Fight for her, and don’t ever let her go.” I reach over and give his hand a gentle squeeze before leaving in the same fashion as Salvatore, leaving him to sit and think about what I’ve said.
I let Luca’s father and brothers visit him first when we’re finally allowed to see him, wanting to wait so I can see him alone. And finally—after what seems like hours—they all leave, and I walk towards the door of the room Luca is in.
I step through the threshold of the room and suck in a sharp breath at the sight of my husband connected to machines, his body covered by the hospital blanket so I can’t see his bandages.
He appears so weak, so vulnerable.
He looks nothing at all like the strong, usually put-together and pristine man I’m used to.
I slowly make my way towards him, my pulse skyrocketing the closer I get. There were moments when I really thought I would never see him again.
When I thought I’d never see his chest expand as he takes a breath the way it is right now. I thought I’d never hear his voice again, never feel him hold me again.
I thought I’d never hear him murmur that he loves me in my ear at night when he thinks I’m already asleep, never feeling him press those sweet kisses to my forehead or my hair like he always does.
I thought I’d never get to tell him that I forgive him, and that I want a fresh start with him by my side.
I take a seat in the chair placed next to his bed and take his hand in mine, reveling at the feeling of being able to touch him.
“I’m really pissed at you right now,” I whisper, my voice cracking as a tear rolls down my face.
“You scared me Luca, I thought I was going to lose you, I’m not ready to fucking lose you when we’ve only just begun.” I bring his hand to my lips and press a gentle kiss to his knuckle.
“You need to wake up so I can be pissed, it’s no fun being angry when you’re unconscious.” I let out a chuckle as I wipe my eyes, I’ve never cried as much in my fucking life as I have today.
“I love you Luca, till death do us part, I vow to you that’ll never change.”
I lean forward, resting my head on our joint hands and inhaling.
Finally, for the first time in over a week, I’m able to breathe his air without pain and sorrow surrounding us. I’d love nothing more than to curl up at his side right now and sleep. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since I shared our bed with him.
But instead, I spent the night staring at my husband, willing him with my mind to wake up.
Enzo comes to check on me in the morning, bringing me a bag full of clothes and a fresh coffee.
“I can stay while you go home and change Iz,” he murmurs, and he wraps his arms around me in a brotherly hug which is a welcome distraction.
“I’m not fucking leaving this hospital without him Enzo.”
He rolls his eyes before muttering, “stubborn as always.”
I shake my head and allow a small smile to grace my lips before I turn my attention back to Luca, he still hasn’t woken up, it’s been fifteen hours, and he still hasn’t fucking woken up.
I may have threatened to decapitate a doctor at one point if they didn’t wake him up, but apparently there’s nothing they can do but wait, so instead I called Salvatore and asked him to find the country’s best doctors to look over his charts.
What good is being a terrifying Mafia Don if you can’t manipulate and coerce people?
